This series would've worked so much better if I drew it myself. Hopefully, the limited actions didn't completely suck away the funny.

YOU decide!

Mallevolence | by Scyess 2-18-05

Relax, Jon. It's just the mall! Just the mall? I'd rather be hijacked and anally raped by Basque terrorists than at the mall! FREEZE, INFIDELS! WE ARE HIJACKING THIS INFEDL CAPITALIST HELLPIT! PRAISE ALLAH! Hey. Those aren't Basques. So much for irony. Not to mention the fact that I'm still at the fucking mall.

Mallevolence ][ by Scyess 2-18-05

Cower, infidel! We are taking this mall hostage in the name of Allah! Uh, dude. What's with the suit? We are fighting the stereotype of Muslims being swarthy, dirty, uneducated terrorists. I think you may've missed the point... Hey! When you take hostages, then you can give me pointers.

Mallevolence ]|[ by Scyess 2-18-05

I was in my corner office earning six figures when it hit me that it was high time someone went out and prooved that Muslim terrorists aren't all fundamentalist MidEasterners. Which reminds me... Ow. I SMITE YOU WITH MY ARMANI BRIEFCASE IN THE NAME OF ALLAH!

Mallevolence |V by Scyess 2-18-05

You don't look like a terrorist. That's kind of the point. In fact, you're kind of cute. You're not so bad yourself. Wanna go out sometime? Sure... if I manage to escape the conflagration after I get done hijacking this mall, we'll head to the Maccaroni Grill.

Mallevolence V by Scyess 2-18-05

We need to escape these terrorists. I think I have a plan... let me borrow your cellphone... I didn' t really expect you to bash the terrorists in the head with it. Good thing you can't afford one of those wimpy flip phones.

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"Old" is the old new.

I liked the last one the best. What's with the small typing in the first panel?

It's as close as you can get to whispering. Like I said, I really needed more visual freedom to do this series.

The last comic was actually my original idea; the first ones were just to set up the characters in a situation where they'd have to smash someone with a cell phone. There are four because five comics can fit into one post.

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"Old" is the old new.

More crisp than a sunburnt albino.

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Dad was flammable