The Tobor Chronicles - Part I by gabe_billings 9-19-01

RAAAARRR! TOBOR WILL CO... CUT! Tobor, this just isn't working. You've lost your pizaazz. I'm afraid I'm goint to have to let you go. BUT TOBOR FINALLY GOT A TRAILER BIGGER THAN BEN AFFLECK. Tobor has also gotten a big head and asks for too much money. We've found a cheaper replacement. ACTION! raaar! tobor will cornhole you!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part II by gabe_billings 9-19-01

What's shaking, big man? How was the set today? You bang that makeup chick or what? TOBOR WAS FIRED TODAY AND REPLACED WITH CHEAP JAPANESE IMPORT. That must be why the repo guys came today and took the Bentley and the Hummer. I tried to stop them but I was drunk. TOBOR JUST HAD P DIDDY AIRBRUSHED ON HUMMER. AT LEAST TOBOR STILL HAS CORVETTE. Yeah, about that. I was kinda strung out on coke today and wrecked that in Big Topanga Canyon. TOBOR NEEDS A MOMENT ALONE.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part III by gabe_billings 9-19-01

Shit, the last thing you need right now is to go in your room and weep like a little bitch. TOBOR'S LIFE IS FALLING APART WHILE HE WATCHES. It's better to burn out than fade away. You got some cash left. Let's blow it on booze and hookers. TOBOR THINKS THAT IDEA SOUNDS A LITTLE IRRESPONSIBLE. MAYBE TOBOR SHOULD CALL HIS MOMMY. That's exactly the kind of thing a pantywaisted little wuss would say. Grab your coat while I go steal our neighbor's car. TOBOR HAS BEEN SHAMED INTO ACTION. LET'S GO.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part IV by gabe_billings 9-19-01

All right, crankshaft. Prepare to forget all your troubles. Let me go talk to the man. TOBOR IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS PLAN. WHAZZZUP, NIGGA! Shit, MC Clango. Whaddup, money? You want them four chicks with the baseball bats to work you over like last time? Maybe later. Right now my man Tobor is in mope central and he needs a little loving. He just got fired; maybe you cut him a deal? I know I didn't just hear your bitch ass ask for a discount.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part V by gabe_billings 9-19-01

Damn, you're a big one. If you break any part of me it's an extra $500. TOBOR HAS NEVER DONE THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE. MAYBE TOBOR WOULD FEEL BETTER IF HE TALKED FOR A WHILE. ...so when he was done with the story he started sobbing like a baby. Then he threw up in the corner and ran through the wall. That's the last I saw of him. Damn, maybe he was worse off than I thought. Say, there uh... wouldn't be any uh, money left in the meter, if you catch my drift? No. And you owe me $1500 for a new wall.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part VI by gabe_billings 9-19-01

You won't believe what I found! There's this robot passed out in the field behind my house! No way! Let's go check it out! HOLY SHIT! There really is a robot here. I told you so. Let's pee on him. Ok.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part VII by gabe_billings 9-19-01

OHH... TOBOR FEELS AWFUL. WHERE IS TOBOR? You're out in the field behind my barn. I'd say you slept here last night. And you don't smell none too good, either. TOBOR'S HEAD HURTS. WHAT HAPPENED? Well I'm no Sherlock Homes. But from the looks of things in the barn and the scratches on you I'd guess you tried to hump my prize bull, and when that didn't work took a hankering for my tractor. TOBOR IS VERY SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE HE CAUSED. Well that's just fine. Maybe you'd like to come back to my place and help me get the bull off the roof of the barn.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part VIII by gabe_billings 9-19-01

So you're looking for work, eh? What do you do? TOBOR WAS RECENTLY EMPLOYED AS A BIGSHOT HOLLYWOOD ACTOR. What do I look like? Steven fucking Spielburg? Anything else you know how to do? TOBOR SPENT THE EARLIER PART OF LIFE CRUSHING HUMANS AND DESTROYING THINGS. Now that's what I'm talking about. How'd you like to go talk to people that owe me money and convince them it would be in their best interests to pay? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOB TOBOR CAN SINK HIS TEETH INTO. WHEN DOES TOBOR START?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

The Tobor Chronicles - Part IX by gabe_billings 9-19-01

Yeah, look Johhny B... I'm a little short right now but I should be gettin' paid on Friday and maybe I can get the money to you then. TOBOR THINKS HE HAS PART OF YOUR CAT STUCK TO HIS FOOT. OH, AND TOBOR THINKS YOU OWE JOHNNY B $650. Holy shit! You just knocked down my fucking door! ...AND HE FINALLY FOUND THE MONEY WHEN TOBOR WAS SQUEEZING HIS HEAD. TOBOR FORGOT HOW EASILY HUMANS POP. You got moxie, kid. Stick with me and we'll go all the way.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gabe is Tobor.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Don't tell anyone.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

That isn't a crack about my age, is it?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Oh yeah, nice series, Gabe.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

*runs from Gabe*

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Thanks, pardner. I think maybe I'll take a week off from loathing your existence.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gabe, if you're Tobor, then what's the deal? Are you like the t-1000 and the robot is under your skin?

the tobor chronicles are bloody hilarious. keep 'em coming, gabe.

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I LIVE!

The Gabe Chronicles, Chapter I by DexX 9-20-01

Heya, LadyJ. How's things- Hey! Where are you going? AAARGH! Woah! Get the hell away from me! LadyJ just did the strangest- Hey! Not you too! I am having the strangest day... Hey? How did our statue get out here? Dan! Come help me lift this!

I never pass up a ride on a bandwagon...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The Gabe Chronicles, Chapter II by DexX 9-20-01

There you go, Tobor, back on your pedestal where you belong. DexX! Dan! I keep telling you- *gasp!* The statue speaks! AAAARGH.... I am having the strangest day...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The Gabe Chronicles, Chapter III by DexX 9-20-01

Hey, Tobor, I've been looking for you. I've heard you- Huh? Tobor? What are you talking about? I'm talking about how you haven't done any cornholing all day. I don't pay you by the hour, ya know. I'm, uh... I'm Gabe Billings. I'm not Tobor. This is StripCreator, I am God, you are Tobor. Get with the cornholing or else. Oh... okay... um, growl! I am Tobor! I will cornhole you! ...I am having the strangest day...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The Gabe Chronicles, Chapter IV by DexX 9-20-01

Grrrr!!! Gabe wi- Uh, Tobor will cornhole you! Grrr!!! RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! Tobor! Oh, thank God it's you! TOBOR IS NOT USED TO HEARING THAT PHRASE! No, I suppose you don't. I've been having the strangest day, you just wouldn't believe it. TOBOR WILL DISTRACT YOU BY MAKING THIS THE MOST PAINFUL DAY INSTEAD! RAAARRR!!!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

You'd get tossed out of a geek club so fast with a quote like that. Arnold S. played the original Terminator in the first movie. He was a T-800 with human skin over an endoskeleton. Robert Patrick played a T-1000 in T2: Judgement Day. The T-1000 was a mimetic poly-alloy that could ooze around and do all sorts of cool shit, like turn its hand into a giant knife and stab it through a loser foster father's forehead.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

NO DUH!
I just forgot that Arnie Swartzenegger was the T-800.
I am still a collosal geek.
I MEMORIZED STAR WARS(all of them).
I played video games for an education.
I eat Tuna(then feed it to my cat) and Clam Chowder and Oatmeal. That's it(unless people feed me).
I grew up on star trek.
I love battlestar galaxtica(no ive only seen it 4 or 5 times), Seaquest, and MST3K.
I go by the name Than.

So exactly what orifice of yours does the cat eat your predigested tuna from ?

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

He's gonna go all the way with Tobor. I made a comic for this situation.

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