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Stripcreator » Comic Showcase » Extreme Makover: Comic Edition

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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

I find it odd that on a web site for creating comics, we really don't talk much about comics.

This thead is for remaking comics. I'm always interested in what makes comics funny and how to make them funnier. So find a comic you think could be better, and post it and its revised version here. Don't forget to talk about the improvement and why you think its necessary.

Anyone's comics are fair game, including your own. Find someone elses comics to fix or revisit your old ones.

I'll start the ball rolling with this bit that was originally in FGH.

Original:
You're Fired - Pack Up Your InBox and Go Home by Enderandrew
10-04-04
Ender, thank God! I've been looking for you.
What is that you need boss?
The VP is coming in for a big audit tomorrow, and all our jobs are on the line. Did you get those reports done like I asked?
Nope, but I did post 15 new comics up at StripCreator today!
That does it! You're fired!
But, we haven't discussed a severance package yet. Since I work in IT, I have copies of all the emails you send, as well as the websites you visit.

Revised:
Redo: Enderandrews You're Fired - Pack Up Your InBox and Go by fuzzyman
3-21-05
Ender, about this web surfing report you generated for me. I see you've been visiting StripCreator.com an awful lot.
Yeah, I created fifteen comics today!
Look, if you're going to do stuff like I that during working hours, I'm afraid that I have to fire you.
I don't think so. You see, I kept of copy of that report and I have your web surfing history, too.
So?
Do the words, "Nasty Naked Aardvarks Dot Com" ring a bell? I'm looking forward to my bonus.

It thought the strip would be funnier if it gave an example of the web sites the boss visits. The revised version pushes the joke over that line from being normal office conversation to slightly over the top. I also moved the exposition about working in IT to earlier in the strip, so it doesn't have be part of the punchline.

Both strips are about the pot calling the kettle black. The funny part needs to be (IMHO) finding out just how black the pot is.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

3-22-05 7:45pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

You know fuzzy, this would be a great idea for a comic competition.

3-23-05 1:41pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

I think it's been done. I'd like to think of it as more as an ongoing thing in our quest for "teh funny."

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

3-24-05 3:16am (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

Stripcreator » Comic Showcase » Extreme Makover: Comic Edition


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