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Andy Dougan - Scotlands Premier (sic) Film Critic

Andy Dougan - Film Critic. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 9-30-01

Andy is called into the office. Andy. Ive been reading your reviews lately. Dont you think youre being a little harsh on Russell Crowe sometimes? Boss , i cant just praise him because he won an oscar by showing off his pecs and saying as little as possible. Look. We want to run a contest giving away cinema tickets for a year , but no cinema chain will touch us because of your reviews. Look. Im a journalist. I have my integrity. I wont compromise for anyone , especially not when im right. "Russell Crowe is more wooden than the entire contents of a B&Q Warehouse. Do not use firelighters near this man" Yeh. And that was just describing his performance when he split up Tom and Nicole.

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I don't actually think Russell Crowe is a bad actor. I just think he's a bit in love with himself, and didn't deserve to win an Academy Award for his role in Gladiator, which didn't really require any acting at all. I think he was good in The Insider, however.

Chez Crowe by andydougan 6-30-01

And this is my mum's room. She loves me very much and is very proud of all my suc... Yeah, I couldn't believe he won an Oscar for showing his pecs and grunting a bit! A quadriplegic dungbeetle could've played that part! You'll have to excuse me...I think I heard sobbing at the door.

I saw that one before. Its good.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"