I've been trying to imagine what death used to do before he got the gig he has now. I've come up with a few ideas, but I'm buggered if I can think of any more. Any suggestions?

Death's 5th Job by apejuice 10-01-01

Daddy, it hurts. Are we nearly at the hospital ? It's OK Sally, we'll be there in a . . . Oh God . . . Sally ! Breathe !!! Whoa there, sunshine. You call that parking? I'm gonna have to write you a ticket ! Hello darling, I'm home. Hey, the funniest thing happened at work today !!!

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I LIVE!

Death's 4th Job by apejuice 9-28-01

Can I help you? Hi. I ordered a spicy chicken pizza in the name of Tyler, for six thirty. But it's only six fifteen? It's not ready yet. Well can I just hang around. Maybe read a magazine? Let's take a walk and kill a few cats. Did I say cats? I meant minutes. Woo! On second thoughts, I think I still have some lasagne left in the fridge.

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I LIVE!

Death's 3rd Job by apejuice 9-28-01

Death used to sell seed to domestic birds that had been released back into their natural habitat. SEED ! Get your seed here. One bag please. How much is it? I'm sooo hungry. I'm getting two bags. This line is just for seed, you know?

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I LIVE!

Death's 2nd Job by apejuice 9-28-01

A warm round of applause if you please, for the one and only . . GRIM . . REAPER !!!! HELLO CLEVELAND !!! . . . go totally crazy, forget i'm a lady . . . mens shirt, short skirt, wa oh oh ohh . . . WORK IT GIRLFRIEND !

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I LIVE!

Death almost certainly worked in McDonalds at one time during his college years.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I am going to have to say your comics are the best I've read. No, I AM going to have to say that. ;]

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Is it wrong? I don't think so...

I know I'm setting myself up for a fall here, but thanks, wenis.

(cue reply of 'your comics are the ONLY ones i've read' or 'actually i was talking to keegan's perm'.)

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I LIVE!

No, I actually meant yours. Inspired strips that veer dangerously and unapologetically from the usual SCREAMING INTO THE VOID type.

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Is it wrong? I don't think so...

Although this one involves a moonlighting Death, it was sort of in the spirit of your strips. This was an entry in the first Comic Contest I won, and yes, I preferred it to the one actually selected. But anyway ...

Signs of the Times by kaufman 5-29-01

FOUR-WAY INTERSECTION! FOUR-WAY-INTERSECTION! These damned gas prices. Who'd have thought I'd need to take a second job to make ends meet, and as a fucking road sign! FOUR-WAY INTERSECTION! FOUR-WAY-INTERSECTION! Tell me about it! CAUTION, MOWING AHEAD!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com