Forum archives » Read My Damn Comics » In God We Trust; All Others Pay Cash

LuckyGuess
December 17, 2005 3:21 PM

I'm feeling bitter and spiteful now, so here are some religion bashers. I've already put one of these on the boards before, but it's still worth putting up again.
/comics/LuckyGuess/328706/
/comics/LuckyGuess/327959/
/comics/LuckyGuess/319385/
/comics/LuckyGuess/319383/
/comics/LuckyGuess/318532/

Post #206105link

HotRodDeathToll
December 18, 2005 6:42 PM

those are pretty good
/comics/HotRodDeathToll/328897/

Post #206233link

HCRoyall
December 18, 2005 6:49 PM

Gemini's horoscope was to stop frontin' and blast a cap in Buddha's ass.

Post #206237link

Chuckaduck
December 19, 2005 7:01 AM

Religious humor is ace, but these didn't really do anything for me.

Keep it up though.

Post #206288link

Smarmulus
December 19, 2005 8:55 AM

Lucky, I like the first one quite a lot. You should post it for our pal in one of his new threads.

I give you a 5 bro. Keep it up.

Post #206299link

LuckyGuess
December 19, 2005 10:48 AM

Positive reinforcement! Sweet!

Post #206318link

User #57435
December 19, 2005 11:00 AM

Hello everyone, obviously I am creating problems, so I have decided to resign, but I won't stop creating comics. there is one problem though, i don't know how to sign out for good. So i'm sure that you'll help me do such thinngs so advice would be much apprietive. I promise to everyone who is angry at me that I shall refuse to get out if anything should be said to me to make me angry or sad. Also I am the only comic that has offended you in the way I did, so i'm the only one who should be criticaly talked about. God loves Everyone.

I shall pray for everyone

Post #206321link

LuckyGuess
December 19, 2005 11:18 AM

My eye just twitched in a way that says to me, "Some of your brain cells just died." Look, godboy, I have nothing against you. Well, I do, but those things all encompass your religious hoo-dilly and whatfor. I don't care what you practice. Worship a bottle of iodine, make ritual sacrifices to The Great Scrotum, dance in paganistic Zanadoo ways, whatever. But when you prance around a bunch of cynics showcasing religious "comics" and proclaiming the poorly spelled benefits of worship, you're asking to get torpedoed.

And about the praying for our souls. Here's something I've tried to explain to all the gay bashers and focus on the family PTA members who climb up my ass for not having a wholesome organized religion to follow like a zombie: It there is a Heaven and a Hell, and the beliefs of the Christians are correct, I'm going to hell no matter what, as well as everybody else. Nobody follows those damn Biblical rules/laws/commandments to a tee, so in theory everybody should be going to hell. I'll see you there, buddy.

If you want off the site, just make like Simba and run away and never return. Seriously, just don't go to the site anymore. Of course, that's called a cut and run, and it's what people who can't deal with reality do. That's not neccesarily bad, as it can afford one valuable insights into how life works. However, in your case your obviously blind faith will probably keep you off for quite some time, possibly forever. You wanna give up and run off because of a little criticism? Fine. But take a lesson from Keanash, who we bag on ALL the damn time. He's still around, and still having fun despite all that because he loves the site. I don't blame him, it's fantastic. If you leave, it's because you can't take criticism from a group of people you'll probably never see face to face in your lifetime.

And that's the Christian way.

Post #206322link

Chuckaduck
December 19, 2005 11:27 AM

And awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!

^_^

quote:
God loves Everyone.
Then why did he create thorns and gnashing teeth that eat flesh? While you live behind the idea that God really just removed some of that fantastic staying power which is what brought death into the world, you maintain plants (but only some of them!) sprung forth thorns and animals (again, just some!) suddenly were meat-eating killers. HE did that.

And, while I have your ear, why is it that most Christians don't seem to find Adam's Fall from grace harsh? How exactly is creating creatures that kill and poisons etc not so harsh? How would creating that, introducing death and disease to Adam & Eve and the billions and billions of people that would supposedly descend from them, not taking into consideration that the little guy he created might not fathom ALL THERE IS and as such for what's hardly the worst thing in the world decides to curse Adam and all generations thereafter and send them to hell if they don't obey, etc, yada yada, not be considered a harsh punishment? Apparently all of suffering and death to this date can be reduced to nothing more than a stubborn and ignorant child mouthing off with a little defiance which is SINful because, well, that's the way God made him... Nice one. am I being punished with death and the possibility of an eternity in hell simply because the first one out of the box couldn't handle it? People are known to give the sacrifice for all when it comes down to it. Compassion and all that, right? Seems that this first man, created perfect, to fall from perfection didn't have any. So much for that.

And can you sit there and honestly state I have God to thank for doing all that has been done so that I can live in his experiment and likely, as I'm not a bible believer as a holy work of Him, burn in hell (nice compassion)? Simply because an all-powerful entity that seems to have had such a huge hand in vast doings on Earth in the olden days (as shown in the Bible) doesn't feel bothered to drop on by again with another grand miracle to get his point across maybe? Would this little endeavor he seems to be doing out of spiteful boredom (if you're correct that is) not be a tad more successful if he dropped a little show of his holy presence through the sky with all the angels and whatnot and said to all, "Hey there, I'm real, the Bible is an accurate work of my inspiration, and if you don't listen to it and its teachings I'm going to send all of you to hell. B'bye."? If he truly wants results it's better he do it himself rather than laying the task onto people who are both flawed and full of sin themselves, even the best of them. When supposed speakers of God are shown to be doing drugs, having sex with hookers, etc, wouldn't be more prudent (given this is eternity punishment or reward for results produced of a handful of years in this physical life recall) for him to show up himself or use a bit more of that all-powerful stuff of his to show how serious this is? Is he lazy or something? Perhaps he got caught up in another project and kind of forgot about us?

And let me just comment a bit on this "all-powerful" crap. If God is all-powerful, why did it take him six days to create the earth? Why did he need to take a rest on the seventh day? Instead of having Noah collect two of every animal and put them (and his family) on a boat so they'd be safe from a flood, why not just kill everyone on the earth except for Noah and the animals? Why not do a flood again and weed out the winners from the wicked? Oh yeah, the whole "I won't be doing that again even though it might help a bit" notion, right. If he's all powerful, then why doesn't everyone act like he supposedly wants us to? Free will? He can't change free will? He can't? I think you're missing a crucial part of the term "all-powerful." Is it he does have the ability but He doesn't want to, then? He can, but he doesn't want to? He doesn't want to do anything about making us do what he wants us to do? Oops... Remember that war between Heaven and Hell? How did that even happen? God's all powerful recall! Satan and his loyal angels attempted a coup to seize power? But God's all powerful. "Yeah. God's side won," right? But angels loyal to Satan were able to raise arms against an all powerful being. Rather than a war, wouldn't God have known about Satan's intentions and cast him down into hell before he could recruit an army? And speaking of angels, why do they exist? "Well sure," you say, "they're God's helpers." So why does he need helpers? Back to the lazy thing? You might reply, "They interact with humans, God can't talk directly to people." He's all-powerful. For him to carry that label there sure seems to be a lot of stuff he can't do.

Does God not have the foresight to prevent a force that would affect his own creations in a way that would prevent them from going to his great beyond called Heaven? Did he really have to create Jesus to endure so much torture? Couldn't have done it a different way? Or done it sooner? Maybe even later? Another flood would've been good. Or here's a thought, He could have ended it all with Adam and Eve rather than letting this go on to an ugly point, which I'd hope you'd agree its at and has been off and on for, well, since Adam's little tantrum that screwed everybody EVER?

And whilst we're at it, let's cover the "fact" God permitted sin to take place and yet used it for good to ultimately glorify is His Son Jesus Christ. "Awuh", you say? Yup, Paul confirms this in Romans and it makes this entire thing sickening were it true. He PERMITS it but is in no way RESPONSIBLE for it? Is that what I'm reading? If God isn't to be held responsible for his creation Adam's sin, then we should not be accountable (none of us, from Adam's first child to the baby born in the time of your reading this and onward to all) for enduring an eternal punishment for something Adam did. You might argue, "Well fine then, are you stating yourself you're perfect therefore would not apply to the punishment of sin?" Not at all. I'm what the world has made me. I am the result of the people and beliefs I've encountered in my limited lifetime in a world that God created. And he did create all of this. Simply because something shows up later he supposedly didn't initially create doesn't make it "not his" or "not of him". Per you it was God that inflicted a life without his presence (the supposed cause of death, natural death of course as everything more is from diseases of his creation. while man may learn to unleash it, it's still there and his doing) and sent out his creations to suffer for not following his rules (a suffering that will continue for all time. Adam's in hell remember? Or is he the exception because....?) and gave the animals teeth and claws to cut and gnash at the flesh of humans.

You might say, "God knew that He would sacrifice Jesus to save us." Which in turn means he had the foresight to know that this would never work out and be perfect, so he knew he'd be creating sin and eternal damnation for those he knew would either not believe in a book written by men (whom bible thumping folks state are full of deceitful words themselves, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) or never know of how important the issue is. Where's my burning bush? I've led a good life. Where's my red sea? If all you say is true I surely don't want to burn for eternity (nice compassion there by the way) so if it's so important for Jesus to save my soul, why doesn't he visit me and have a chat so I can take his word for it over yours and over a book? Isn't a judgment to last an eternity worth that much?

And, in closing, tell me what you're looking forward to after you die. The whole going to Heaven until he recreates the Earth anew with his forgiven, yes? That's what the Good Book says will happen. Here's the trouble with that everlasting notion. Basically he's cycling everything. He's going to wipe out all except his chosen, start the Earth anew (and supposedly perfect once more) but he'll be doing so with imperfect sinners. Forgiven sinners, but sinners that will sin once more because that's the nature of us, right? Oops on the logic there buddy. If He can recreate the world without the curse, he should have done so with Adam and saved the rest of us perversion, pain, misery, sadness, and death. Lazy again maybe?

Oh, and to answer your question, top blue bar, on the right, fourth option going from left to right.

B'bye.

Post #206324link

LuckyGuess
December 19, 2005 11:34 AM

I think I'm in love.

Post #206326link

Chuckaduck
December 19, 2005 11:42 AM

quote:
I think I'm in love.
Be gentle.

And understand I blow Mandingo on Thursdays.

Post #206328link

User #57435
December 19, 2005 11:42 AM

quote:

And about the praying for our souls. Here's something I've tried to explain to all the gay bashers and focus on the family PTA members who climb up my ass for not having a wholesome organized religion to follow like a zombie: It there is a Heaven and a Hell, and the beliefs of the Christians are correct, I'm going to hell no matter what, as well as everybody else. Nobody follows those damn Biblical rules/laws/commandments to a tee, so in theory everybody should be going to hell. I'll see you there, buddy.

.


I wont say anything about this, but I feel that i'm causing problems for others so its not critisizism. Its more... screw that your right LuckyGuess i'm staying. heh heh heh!

Post #206329link

User #57435
December 19, 2005 1:23 PM

ChuckaDuck,

I don't quite understand your phrases in the first paragraph.

Paragraph 2: Wow! this is strange, and you knew I was going to say something. Adams fall from grace was harsh, but just in the since that God told him you can eat of everything but this tree ( friut on the tree that is ). Adam although he had God with him was lonely, and as that result made adam a companion which was eve. You could say that this is where soulmate is from. So the devil convinced women to convince man to eat of the forbiden fruit. and the rest is pretty much punishment. God does love his creation, and we are his children, so do parents not punish there children for wrong doings. That is where Jesus comes in, he sent him to save us. Addam did have compassion and all that, but the devil's abilty to give Adam and Eve the boldness to eat the fruit hurt them. so that has to do with free will. And that perfection was lost when he ate the fruit.

Paragraph 3: God will never forget us, in fact he probably cries when his children sin. his miracle light is everywhere if look for it. see, God and his son spread their light to their children. My question to you is do think christians are different from others in terms of morales and actions ( talking about true believers ). The earth is another miracle. Just look for them. so the truth is that if you let him he talks to lost souls not the physical being that you see in front of you.

Paragraph 4: He is all powerful, but nothing could create this in a few minutes. God loves us and wouldn't let the devil take all his children therefore he went and told the only ritcheous( not spelled right) man to save himself of the flood, and if you read the bible it says the noah tried warning everyone he could but they didn't listen. you answered the fre will question, he wants us to love him willingly ( no robots ). he did see that satan would betray him your correct there. If someone is all powerful than the might of thier very presense would be to much. In short its all on Faith.

Paragraph 5: I think your messing with free will again. but if not please explain again. Jesus was a must to save us.

Paragraph 6: what scripture of romans have you read. free will again, so if you choose to sin it is your own doing, but Jesus is giveing you a chance to ask for forgiveness. No one is perfect of the result of Adam, but that is what forgiveness is for.

Paragraph 7: First of all, If you don't want to be tortured for eternity than why is it so difficult to get saved? Jesus speaks to you through others on salvation if they let him.

Final Paragraph: I look foward to when I die seeing, praising, and being in heaven with my King, Saviour, and Father in total happiness with no suffering. If he would have done that with Adam than you wouldn't have the chance to accept Jesus and go to heaven. Also your right we are bound to sin, but forgiveness is a powerful thing, so true believers are perfect ENOUGH.

do you understand, All of this is pretty much based on Faith in all that was written.

If there any other questions than just ask.

Post #206352link

HCRoyall
December 19, 2005 1:29 PM

How about we take this to FGH? In fact, I'm off to do just that.

Post #206355link

Smarmulus
December 19, 2005 1:32 PM

Making fun of this stupid bastard will be much more enjoyable than listening to any more of BLT's stupid bullshit.

Post #206356link

HCRoyall
December 19, 2005 1:36 PM

Post #206358link

Hari_Nezumi
December 19, 2005 1:39 PM

quote:
Hello everyone, obviously I am creating problems, so I have decided to resign, but I won't stop creating comics. there is one problem though, i don't know how to sign out for good. So i'm sure that you'll help me do such thinngs so advice would be much apprietive. I promise to everyone who is angry at me that I shall refuse to get out if anything should be said to me to make me angry or sad. Also I am the only comic that has offended you in the way I did, so i'm the only one who should be criticaly talked about. God loves Everyone.

I shall pray for everyone



Wait...how the hell does this thread involve people not liking you?

Post #206359link

Chuckaduck
December 19, 2005 2:02 PM

goofy, follow the link above posted by HCRoyall, thanks dip.

Post #206362link

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