"Here at E-harmony, we measure your satisfaction using this ruler. For instance, if you are a regular dude who isnt making over 120,000 a year then we would measure you over here at the "one inch" mark...now at about the five feet mark, is where you start getting laid, so lets say that you...."

So thats where my penis ruler got to

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

"...and this gigantic novelty ruler can be yours IF the PRICE IS RIGHT!"

---
I has a flavor!

"My Assistant Jim will tag and then measure the distance up the water buffalo's asshole with this ruler"

On the next Mutual of Omaha's wild world of animals

"This ruler rules!"

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Comes with gigantic jocks who kick your nerdy ass.

---
What others say about boorite!

One of those was actually hanging in my physics room back in high school.

One of those guys? Thats sick, your sick.

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Do they use it to measure slides? I'm not an enginer...

"If my penis were traveling at relativistic velocity, you would still need this to measure it! Ha ha!"

---
What others say about boorite!

"We just measured Paris Hilton's Vagina! LOL!"

"This giant logarathmic scale brings us closer than ever to calculating the average Elder Scrolls player's dorkiness quotient!"

---
What others say about boorite!

The pedophiles just smiled. They knew that all children love rulers and everything associated with Rulers. In time, they were sure that they would be the greatest pedophiles the world has ever known.

"We developed this slide ruler to measure Oprah's ass"

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

"Lets sneak out, so those bitches with all the flowers don't try to fuck us again"