The comic, should you choose to complete it, is this:

FTC 97 Template

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?"

by Xuanwu, 10-19-06

If there are enough awesome entries, maybe I'll bring back some of the old FTC awards, like the "TOBOR Award" for best inside joke or the "AUUUH Award" for corniness, etc. See old FTC's for examples of what awards used to be given out.

ftc by dcomposed 10-19-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" Yeah I heard. Want to apply yourself to my ass?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

Just a question by RedfeatheR 10-19-06

Did you hear about the study that says gay men can be straight if they butt only "apply themselves?" Apply themselves? Goddammit I asked you a motherfucking question oh.. umm, sorry. No I haven't

The Pres by crackpanther 10-20-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" I think 'at's...uh...ah... undeniousably correct, ya see... But what I really need right now is my dry-cleanin'.

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CC - Jinx. by crackpanther 10-20-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" Did you hear the president has grossly cut funding for the sciences and objective, non-religious study of social issues? Jinx, you owe me a Coke.

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viking straight by AngryAmerican 10-20-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they 'apply themselves'? What's 'straight' mean? It means you only rape women. Well, anything that is smaller than me or can't outrun me is female in my book. That explains all the pits and snares around your steading... Anything not smart enough to avoid a trap is female too.

---
Kill Whitey.

FTC 97: You wouldn't want to see that by lukket 10-21-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" Well? I'm sorry. I just got reminded of a video clip someone sent me a link to. It was this man that really applied himself. Oh yeah. He was kind of gay in a self-loving way. Yeah. If I could do like he did I wouldn't need to hang around in bars.

FTC 97: And stealing from Monty Python qualifies as? by lukket 10-21-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" So. What they're saying is that basically all lazy guys are just gay? I guess so. You wanna go back to my place? Yeah, all right.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

FTC97: Just Apply Yourself by fpd 10-21-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" No, I thought being straight came naturally. No, it's very tricky. If you enjoy listening to Asia, or you like Studio Ghibli movies, or you're attracted to flat chested women, you're automatically gay. But I love Asia, Studio Ghibli, and flat chested women. Are you telling me I'm gay? I'm afraid so. But the good news is all you have to do is apply yourself. Discipline yourself to jump through all the right hoops, and you'll be straight in no time. Since the idea of gay sex with men disgusts me, I'll start applying myself right away. I just hope straight men can enjoy watching lesbian sex! I don't want to give that up!

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Application by mattaotamato 10-22-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" Did you hear about the study that says men can be gay if they "apply themselves?"

---
"Common sense is not so common." Voltaire

Judging tonight or tomorrow if there are no new comics.

FTC: Straight Edge by yellowdart 10-25-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" I guess you can't believe everything you hear. You're gay? No... Oh, I thought-- I'M SUPER FUCKING GAY!!!

---
I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.

I could use some super-fucking...

Judging tomorrow afternoon if everything goes well to give a little more time for last minute entries.

FTC:The Break-Up by yellowdart 10-26-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" I wish you would open up to me more. I wish you would just break up with me if you're unhappy in our relationship instead of trying to convince me that I'm a heterosexual.

---
I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.

Bad Person by crackpanther 10-26-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" No, I had not. I've had to move away from obsessing over the issue of gays ruining the foundation of marriage. Clubbing baby seals just takes up soooo much of my time, y'know?

Judging time. Not as many entries as I hoped, but I'll use a few awards from the old FTC's for the heck of it:

The Truth Award This would really happen

Goes to Crackpanther for:

The Pres by crackpanther 10-20-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" I think 'at's...uh...ah... undeniousably correct, ya see... But what I really need right now is my dry-cleanin'.

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to fpd for:

FTC97: Just Apply Yourself by fpd 10-21-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" No, I thought being straight came naturally. No, it's very tricky. If you enjoy listening to Asia, or you like Studio Ghibli movies, or you're attracted to flat chested women, you're automatically gay. But I love Asia, Studio Ghibli, and flat chested women. Are you telling me I'm gay? I'm afraid so. But the good news is all you have to do is apply yourself. Discipline yourself to jump through all the right hoops, and you'll be straight in no time. Since the idea of gay sex with men disgusts me, I'll start applying myself right away. I just hope straight men can enjoy watching lesbian sex! I don't want to give that up!

Best Rule Smasher

Goes to AngryAmerican for:

viking straight by AngryAmerican 10-20-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they 'apply themselves'? What's 'straight' mean? It means you only rape women. Well, anything that is smaller than me or can't outrun me is female in my book. That explains all the pits and snares around your steading... Anything not smart enough to avoid a trap is female too.

Best Use of Python

Goes to lukket for:

FTC 97: You wouldn't want to see that by lukket 10-21-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" Well? I'm sorry. I just got reminded of a video clip someone sent me a link to. It was this man that really applied himself. Oh yeah. He was kind of gay in a self-loving way. Yeah. If I could do like he did I wouldn't need to hang around in bars.

Psychic Award

Goes to Yellowdart for:

FTC: Straight Edge by yellowdart 10-25-06

Did you hear about the study that says men can be straight if they "apply themselves?" I guess you can't believe everything you hear. You're gay? No... Oh, I thought-- I'M SUPER FUCKING GAY!!!

(Somewhat similar to my own comic.)

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to dcomposed for:
[Click to view comic: 'ftc']

Zinger Award (and the host of the next FTC)

Goes to crackpanther for:
[Click to view comic: 'Bad Person']

Seal clubbing jokes are a winner in my book. Your "Jinx" comic also cracked me up. Good job!

Wow thanks.
It's been fun, I love you all, and you'll have to excuse me if I don't bow...