In a burst of inspiration, I've decided to start making fun of bad goth poetry - but in the form of haikus. I think these are hilarious; your mileage may vary.

Bad Goth Haikus by Xuanwu 11-02-06

The bitter coffee... How much like my soul it is! There is only... BLACK!

Bad Goth Haikus 2 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

My body betrays, Cells degrade into nothing, Death carried by BLOOD.

Bad Goth Haikus 3 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Energy and light, Sun shining through the gray clouds, It signals my DEATH.

Bad Goth Haikus 4 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Snow falls from the sky, Covering the white roses, Everywhere... is BLACK.

Bad Goth Haikus 5 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Naughty tentacles, An Eldritch horror searches, On a quest for BLOOD.

For maximum enjoyment, try reading the haikus in an overly dramatic/morose tone of voice really slowly and with exaggerated emphasis. It makes them funnier.

Bad Goth Haikus 6 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

A new beginning, Life rises from the ashes, There is always DEATH.

Bad Goth Haikus 7 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

The noon day sun shines, Light pours into all places, For me it is BLACK.

Bad Goth Haikus 8 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Squirting and pumping, The red stuff flows from my form, The cuts release BLOOD. Hey! That's not goth! That's emo! Get off the stage, you poser!

Bad Goth Haikus 9 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

It begins so well, A bird learns to spread its wings, Ends in TRAGEDY.

Bad Goth Haikus 10 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Hope envigorates, A new future stretches out, One with lots of DEATH.

I started becoming more "ironic" with the later haikus. 13 is a personal favorite.

Bad Goth Haikus 11 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Soft, downy pillows, Rest on fluffy comforters, Neverending PAIN.

Bad Goth Haikus 12 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Try your best at life, Though you are doomed to suffer, Massive TRAGEDY.

Bad Goth Haikus 13 - DEATH by Xuanwu 11-02-06

In this world of DEATH, No hope, no light, only DEATH, In life there is DEATH.

Bad Goth Haikus 14 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Cuddling some kittens, Fuzzy furrballs tickling feet, Only immense PAIN.

Bad Goth Haikus 15 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Filling the belly, Consuming mass quantities, Leads to SUFFERING.

Bad Goth Haikus 16 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Just when it's over, When you think life will be good, Always TRAGEDY.

Bad Goth Haikus 17 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Normal family, Happy parents and children, They are SUFFERING.

Bad Goth Haikus 18 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

Soaking in a bath, Suspended in warm water, Nerves ablaze with PAIN.

Bad Goth Haikus 19 by Xuanwu 11-02-06

A world united, Peace settles across the land, Endless SUFFERING.

Bad Goth Haikus 20 by Xuanwu 11-03-06

There is DEATH, PAIN, BLOOD, SUFFERING and TRAGEDY, BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK! I think you're done here, you pasty faced nimrod.

In the next set: Bad (Not) Goth Haikus!

Bad (Not) Goth Haikus 21 by Xuanwu 11-03-06

Guitar wails loudly, Drums pound, bass blares, vocals growl, I rock to METAL!

Bad (Not) Goth Haikus 22 by Xuanwu 11-03-06

Hot naked women, Copulating without end, Pornography ROCKS!

Bad (Not) Goth Haikus 23 by Xuanwu 11-03-06

He flipped me the bird, So I stabbed him in the face. Nothing wrong with that.

Bad (Not) Goth Haikus 24 by Xuanwu 11-08-06

Pounding her behind, Doing it doggy style, And then DONKEY PUNCH!

Bad (Not) Goth Haikus 25 by Xuanwu 11-10-06

Vegetarians, Their diets are like a cow's. They're best served well done.

I thoroughly enjoyed this series in a depressingingly funny sort of way!