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Stripcreator » More Comic Competitions » WW 55: Spitballs of Folly, or Worst Aphorisms

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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

An aphorism is a pithy and memorable way of expressing something true or profound. Here are some examples:

"Where there is the necessary technical skill to move mountains, there is no need for the faith that moves mountains." -- Eric Hoffer

"Under peaceful conditions a warlike man sets upon himself." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." -- Benjamin Franklin

"If no special value is placed upon rare things, one will have no incentive for stealing them." -- Lao Tzu.

"Better a poor man who walks in his integrity than he who is crooked in his ways and rich." -- Proverbs 28:6

The object of this contest is to come up with bad aphorisms. Instead of being insightful or wise, they should be stupid or foolish, words of "wisdom" for dummies headed down the wrong path. The aphorism should come as the punchline to a setup.

Here are the rules:

1) No old comics.
2) Each strip should end with a bad aphorism.
3) The aphorism should be made up, not taken from another source. But it is okay to falsely attribute it to someone. It's also okay to mangle or parody something from another source.
4) Multiple entries are allowed.
5) Series are allowed, as long as each strip ends with its own aphorism.

I will judge in a week to a fortnight, depending upon how active this contest gets.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

11-08-06 5:25pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

WW 55: Won't Get Foiled Again 1 by biped
11-12-06
FUDS!!!
WHERE? WHERE?
THERE! OH MAN, WE'D BETTER FOIL THOSE FUCKERS!
BUT HOW? HOW WILL WE FOIL THE FUDS, JIM? JIM?
"You can't foil a fud to foil fuds, without a fud-foiler--ergo, a foiler of fuds." Ralph Waldo Emerson
COOL, I'LL GET THE--WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE FUCK IS A FUD-FOILER, FUCKHEAD?!?

WW 55: Won't Get Foiled Again 2 by biped
11-12-06
Luckily, Dave, I built this fud-foiler just last week. Now all we have to do is lure them inside.
I'll put some FUD FOOD in there! The foraging fuds will find the food, and be foiled!
Wait, I just remembered--this is a fud FUCKER! They'll be FUCKED, not FOILED!
You ARROGANT ASS! You've foiled US!
"When yon fuds thou canst not foil, fuck them hence, with baby oil." T.S. Eliot
T.S. ELIOT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ABOUT BABY-OILED FUD-FUCKING?!?

WW 55: Won't Get Foiled Again 3 by biped
11-12-06
With these dinosaur suits on, the fuds will BEG us to fuck them! Fuds can't resist dinosaurs!
I hope we have enough baby oil! And you better not be making all this stuff up, either! HERE THEY COME!
UHH!!! UHHHH!!! TAKE THAT, YOU FUDS!!! UNNNNGGGHHHH!!!
FOIL--FUCK--WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? NNNRRRRGGHHH!!!
Well, I guess it's true..."A fuck is as good as a foil to a dead fud." Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Holy cats, Jim! It's as though she somehow knew that, someday, we would have to fuck those fuds!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

11-12-06 9:01am (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:

WW 55. Dead Fish Swim No Scales by Xuanwu
11-15-06
What are you up to?
Quiet. I'm trying to practice this adage I heard.
Which one?
"A fish wouldn't get in trouble if it kept it's mouth shut."
But... we need to open our mouths to breath...
You ever hear of a dead fish getting grief? Nope!

11-15-06 10:44am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

WW 55: Forrest Looks Back by biped
11-16-06
So I asked Mama, "Why, Mama? Why dunt Jenneh wanna may-reh me?" And Mama said:
Life is lahk thuh clap, Forrest. Yuh nevah know when yore gonna feel lahk somebody just broke a glass rod off in yuh peckuh.
Mama always had a way uh sayin' things so that Ah would unduhstand them.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

11-16-06 3:13pm (new)
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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

With the slow turnout this contest has gotten so far, I'm going to relax some of the rules and keep it going until there are more entries. It is now okay to steal bad aphorisms from other sources, such as Life's Little Destruction Book, just to name one source. And you don't have to wait until the end to use it. Just work your strip around the bad aphorism somehow.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

11-17-06 4:48pm (new)
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Xuanwu
The Professor

Member Rated:


That's good for me, seeing as how I blatantly ignored the whole "end with the aphorism" rule. Or is my comic disqualified for not obeying the rules at the time it was posted? Hm...

11-17-06 8:29pm (new)
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takedown
Unable to insert an avatar due to retardation

Member Rated:

You Suck by takedown
11-18-06
You suck
Why do I suck?
You just do.
...
A man may suck, but that does not provoke the suckness of his colleauge.

You suck by takedown
11-18-06
I don't see how you can just decide that I suck!
You would see if you didn't suck!
Go to hell!
One may bring oneself to hell, but he is only burning himself, and his dog.
Ow.

---
Yeah, real funny.

11-18-06 6:13pm (new)
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fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

I would apologize for being gone so long if in the meantime some good entries had shown up. I haven't had much time for stripcreator, because my new girlfriend has been keeping me busy when I have any free time. Since I would really like an actual good entry to win this contest, I'll just keep it going until I can get back to stripcreator again. Here's an example.

Bad Aphorisms Example by fpd
12-11-06
I love you. You're the love of my life.
Sorry, but you're poor, and I live by the motto, "It's as easy to love a rich woman as a poor woman."
Wealth and poverty are like yin and yang. Each has a bit of the other in it.
"Anything you can't deposit in a bank is as worthless as snot."
But I love you. Doesn't that count for anything?
"To love without money is like playing soccer without a ball."

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

12-11-06 6:03pm (new)
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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

12-11-06 7:21pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

fpd

Say what?

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

12-11-06 8:15pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info


fpd
Doctor of Fine Parody

Member Rated:

The winner is Scyess. Go ahead and ressurect the World's Worst contests.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

5-19-08 6:39pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

Stripcreator » More Comic Competitions » WW 55: Spitballs of Folly, or Worst Aphorisms


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