Hello gentlemen and ladies, the theme for this contest is sick jokes. The Holocaust, racsim, religion, paedophiles, nothing is sacred. Delve into the blackened pits of your soul and make me wonder about your sanity.

Incidentally, the title to the contest is the punchline to "Why was Princess Di like Pink Floyd?"

Judging one week from today.

Bonus points for using Randomly Appearing Snowman, he makes me smile.

Fergler's Hardware by christopher7murphy 7-18-08

Fergler's Hardware, can I help you? Yes sir. I ordered a lawnmower last week, but you accidently sent me a snow blower. Oh, heavens! You sure don't need a snow blower in the middle of July. I'll send the mower right over. Thank you. Could you hurry? Your turn!

---
Insert Theme to Mannix here

Randomly Appearing Redheads by christopher7murphy 7-18-08

-snif- I smell carrots. Oh, look! A snowman! I LOVE snowmen! -snif snif- FISH?

---
Insert Theme to Mannix here

CC395: Supertasteless!

I can't believe I just fucked a nigger. I can't believe I just fucked a Jew.

by UnknownEric, 7-18-08

---
I has a flavor!

Ed's Ordeal by biped 7-18-08

"...while Citizens for Decency are protesting the upcoming NAMBLA convention this weekend..." WOO-HOO!!! We're in the money, Billy! The pedos are in town! I've bought you some great new "fuck me" shorts-- Sorry, Dad! The Little League Championship is this Saturday! The "Wildkats" are in the lead. Isn't that wonderful, Ed? FUCK baseball! And FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!

Corpus Delectable by biped 7-18-08

Well...Grandma finally croaked. YIPPEE! Fresh meat for a month! Whew--butchering's hard work. But we'll be eatin' high off the "hog" for awhile. (giggle) Oh, ED--you were always ribbing Mother about her weight. Mmm...ribs. I'll start marinating that rump roast, and--GAAAAAAA!!! RANDOMLY APPEARING SNOWMAN!!! Correction--Randomly Appearing HOMICIDE COP Snowman!!! Hands up, slimeballs!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 395: The "P" List by kaufman 7-19-08

Katie ...I was all set to eat it, but Tom grabbed it, threw it on the couch, and started jumping up and down on it. Britney I ate mine, but was only kidding. A half hour later, I declared an annulment and induced vomiting. Jessica That's such a hard word. I don't even know what a placenta is. So I just went ahead and ate the whole baby.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

sports fans by AngryAmerican 9-14-06

Ya know Tim, i really hates me some niggers. Unless they're helping my favorite team to victory. Then i adore them. It's ironic Hal, but i feel the same way. Any other random nigger, and i'd be the first one with a rope looking for a high branch. But there's just somethin about a fast runnin black with a ball.. I know what yer sayin. It gets me hard too. Seein em on that field in those tight pants all tacklin each other and endin up in piles of sweaty manflesh... Bein all rough with one another. Huge angry black men in jockstraps bashin the crap outta the other team. Just the thought of it makes me wanna....well, you know. Pay too much for endorsed products, inferior quality vittles and suds followed by ragingly gay sex with steroid enhanced darkies? Ayup.

---
Kill Whitey.

RCL no. 1877 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-20-08

You're getting SLEEEEEEE-PEEEEEEE... I'm getting sleepy... You want to take me back to your house and let me give you a blowjob... I want to take you back to my place and let you give me a handjob... HOW THE FUCK CAN I GIVE YOU A HANDJOB WITH THIS??? Very slowly while singing an old negro minstrel. If, you don't know what that is, you can go on-line and Google the shit...

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

RCL no. 1878 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-21-08

Look... I don't mind helping an old lady cross the street... ...but where is it written I have to help her take a shit? Remember, sonny... When I'm done pooping, I need you to root around my ass with your penis to loos-en any dried out turds that may be clining to the inside of my sphincter. I'll tell you where it's written- it's written in the book called, "I Just Hit the Fucking Jackpot!" YESSSSSSSSSS!!! And, please DON'T wear a condom. I like this procedure to be au naturale...

Milton Berle Stole Jokes by choadwarrior 7-21-08

John Dillinger is proof that white people are better than black people at stealing. John Dillinger had a legendary wang. I think we're on to something.

 I have so many, it's hard to decide

Pocket Pals by RedfeatheR 1-15-06

You know the thing about little girls... Little girls? Yeah. Like little underage gir-- You know what I mean... Anyways, it's like... You can only go second-knukle deep in them, but they can go, like, elbow deep in you. It's fuckin' bullshit Yeah it's the damndest thing

Pocket Pals XI by RedfeatheR 2-13-06

... so I punched her in the stomach and her fetus fell out ... and then I picked it up and ate it The fetus? Yeahp Gross. Don't eat off the floor

Slip a Mickey through her window by RedfeatheR 1-27-08

Man... I wanna rape the ever loving shit out of Nancy... I can imagine it now... There would be so many tears It'd probably be fairly easy now that she lives alone and Dirk took the dog... ...Wait a minute... Did you say tears or tears? Either way, it's bad Mick Woah! HEY Mick, I think someone's climbing through her win- ...Mick?

Two pigs in front of a barn by RedfeatheR 8-09-07

Oh no! Farmer Bob is at it again! What? Raping the cow? noo... that's his son Raping the horse? No, that's his daughter. He's the one just standing there watching oh... Why is he punching himself in the stomach?

cc395: Take one down, pass it around by mandingo 7-23-08

so then what? ...right, so there i am, raping the two whiny bitches when this little girl runs up shouting, "Wait! You're God! Aren't you supposed to be the good one??" HAHAHAH HAHAHAH so then what? ...right, so there i am, raping the three whiny bitches...

---
what if nigger meant kite

Tard Boy and Finkelman by NeoVid 7-24-08

What do you think you're doing? Huh? You just beat that dickhead to death with your bare hands! So? SO!? There was a perfectly good brick right over there!

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

cc395: P.S. nigger by mandingo 7-25-08

nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger Eleanor Roosevelt nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger what are you doing? there's a sick joke contest and i can't think of anything sicker than Eleanor Roosevelt gangbanged at Kentucky Fried. if i could just think of a word that rhymes with nigger, i have the perfect ending bigger if that's word association, i'm dumping your ass

---
what if nigger meant kite

CC395: In the "ball room" at Småland, pørk pørk pørk!! by themushroom 8-06-07

Cöme to LIKEE-YA dis weeken før our beeg KiddeRapen event! Bring the yung ones for fün! me next! me next! We have special games for good little boys and girls. Just leave them unattended in the restroom while you shop our massive selection of goods! gawd I love my job! At LIKEE-YA, yøø don't haf to be smart, just yung!

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

CC395: Mindy's Anti-Pedo Defense (-10HP) by themushroom 7-18-07

Hey, hot little schoolgirl... how do you keep the boys from tapping that? Kegel exercises and harnessing my inner incontinence.

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

If you don't know this song, you're too young. Grow up already.

---
Kill Whitey.

Apologies for the hang-over innduced delay in results 'n' stuff. I've only just decided that light doesn't burn.

Anyway, the award for 'Best Use of Randomly Appearing Snowman' goes to Biped for

Corpus Delectable by biped 7-18-08

Well...Grandma finally croaked. YIPPEE! Fresh meat for a month! Whew--butchering's hard work. But we'll be eatin' high off the "hog" for awhile. (giggle) Oh, ED--you were always ribbing Mother about her weight. Mmm...ribs. I'll start marinating that rump roast, and--GAAAAAAA!!! RANDOMLY APPEARING SNOWMAN!!! Correction--Randomly Appearing HOMICIDE COP Snowman!!! Hands up, slimeballs!

The award for 'Best use of the word 'Jew'' goes to seanator for

The LOLocaust by seanator 7-19-08

One fine day... The Holocaust was a terrible, horrid time. But it was harder for some of us... 1939... Oh what the hell is this shit? My car is fucking coated in ashes! I just washed it! I just KNOW those fucking JEWS are behind this!

The award for 'Most Likely to Have the Creator Sent to Hell' goes to Mandingo for

cc395: Take one down, pass it around by mandingo 7-23-08

so then what? ...right, so there i am, raping the two whiny bitches when this little girl runs up shouting, "Wait! You're God! Aren't you supposed to be the good one??" HAHAHAH HAHAHAH so then what? ...right, so there i am, raping the three whiny bitches...

However good these, and the rest were the winner and NEW World Champeen is Angry American for the truly inspired

You have married one of the most annoyingly catchy songs on Earth with racism. To say this was inspired is an understatement. I congratulate you sir.

Thank you to all who participated, I shall be giggling at dead bodies and paedophiles for many weeks to come.

Cool! Its been a while...

I was so damn hammered last night i didn't remember posting this until I saw I'd won.

Thank you to the academy...

I'll get something up in the next couple of days.

---
Kill Whitey.