Look... I don't mind helping an old lady cross the street...
...but where is it written I have to help her take a shit?
Remember, sonny... When I'm done pooping, I need you to root around my ass with your penis to loos-en any dried out turds that may be clining to the inside of my sphincter.
I'll tell you where it's written- it's written in the book called, "I Just Hit the Fucking Jackpot!" YESSSSSSSSSS!!!
And, please DON'T wear a condom. I like this procedure to be au naturale...
