I took ten minutes to read through this place properly and now my cheeks hurt from smiling. As I've already told you, you're brilliant.

A new page, a new dawn. Here's some more curiosities which hopefully don't suffer from quantity over quality syndrome.
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 Ayl and Bail.

Imprecation by Aylear 4-10-09

You know, people joke about the Hippocratic Oath a lot - consider the hackneyed hypocratic oath joke - but they neglect the best part altogether. What part would that be? That the original Hippocratic Oath is an oath swearing by Apollo, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and taking to witness "All the gods and goddesses." What's so great about that? I think I've found the real reason antiabortionist Christians are killing doctors. This is why I can't be seen in public with you.

Boredom by Aylear 4-28-09

Masochism. Hit me, baby, one more time. Accepted. Your turn. Necrophilia. Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Man, Euphemistic Associations is a weird-ass game.

 Death and all his friends.

Evanescent by Aylear 4-18-09

My quest to understand you humans has made me discover music. Oh, really? ♫ Hm-hm-hmm... You just died in my arms tonight /7 It must have been something you ate... ♫ Uhhh... Only you keep getting the words wrong for some reason. Uhhh...

Academical by Aylear 4-19-09

I recently performed a physics experiment. How'd that go? Pretty good. The plane crashed right on cue.

Meme by Aylear 4-19-09

How's your brother doing? Dean? His life's about to get pretty interesting. Interesting how? You know how I'm the anthropomorphic personification of death because enough people imagined it? I kill a kitten every time they what?

Please. Think of the kittens.

 Fayle and Maximillian.

Acceptance by Aylear 4-18-09

Excuse me, miss? As you can see from this paper, I have modified the absolute magnitude system to measure the 'luminosity' of women instead of celestial objects. I also used game theory to calculate my odds of ever having sex with you. On a luminosity scale from one to minus thirty, you're at approximately quasar, and I'm going home to masturbate furiously.

Diplomacy by Aylear 4-20-09

I've been learning to speak Lojban. What's wrong with English? You think any communications with an alien species will be conducted in the most ambiguous language in the world? We'd impress upon them the importance of humanitarianism and they'd diplomatically eat everybody.

 Knock, knock.

Knock, knock by Aylear 5-05-09

Knock, knock! What's the password?

Knock, knock by Aylear 5-05-09

Knock, knock! Who's there? Bin Laden. Bin Laden who? Saddam Hussein.

Knock, knock by Aylear 5-05-09

Knock, knock! Who's there? The. The who? ♫ Teenage        wasteland! ♫

Knock, knock by Aylear 5-05-09

Knock, knock! Who's there? The illuminati. The illuminati who? Wow. They're good.

Knock, knock by Aylear 5-05-09

Knock, knock! Who's there? God. God who? Son of a bitch.

 Bench Philosopher.

Philosopher by Aylear 4-28-09

Often, the most romantic gesture a person can make is to immortalize the other person in some way. To passionately carve a name into bark, to lovingly trace your fingers across wet cement. But trees die. Cement cracks. And, eventually, everything in the universe will come to a final, inescapable end. Therefore, any attempt to immortalize love is ultimately futile. Happy Valentine's Day.