It's time for a new competition. I decided to make it a relatively simple one.

Your mission (if you choose to accept it) is to:

1)Use a children's story or nursery rhyme as the basis for your strip.

2)Use at least one of the forum users character. Extra points if you include some aspect of their character.

Try to avoid the stock pieces of humor (ie, Tobor cornholing, wirthling sucking, and bad spellings of Lousiania). I thought of outlawing puns, however I know that neither Kaufman or Kramer_vs_Kramer can't resist.

Multiple enteries are acceptable. So write early and write often. The competition ends at noon time (Pacific time) on Sunday and I will announce the winner that afternoon. Happy Stripping!!

Forum-Users Theater: Little Red Riding Vest by israphael 11-15-01

Oh, grandma, what big eyes you have! The better to see you with my dear. Oh, grandma, what huge hooters you have. The better to make money at the local strip club. Oh, grandma, what a big lawyer you have. THE BETTER TO REMOVE YOU FROM OLD LADY'S WILL AND SUE YOUR ASS OFF. SO CONTINUE KISSING UP TO GRANDMA.

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC80: Mysterious Gabe Mutilations Explained by wirthling 11-15-01

Stop, earthling! I need a humanoid tissue sample to take back to Xolthon Prime. Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Ginger-Assed Poofbag Man! Ha ha ha ha ha! Run? No thanks. BzzZzZZZaaaT Run run, um, ha ha can't catch fast, uh, me I'm fast, I'm, uh, ha ha, eh, ginger ha ha bag ha heh ow...

Ha ha! I beat you all to magical comic number 42894! Suck it, losers!

And I should get the bonus points here, because Gabe is in fact a ginger-assed poofbag...

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC80: Vinegar and brown paper? by KajunFirefly 11-15-01

Hey Jill, wassup? Hey Jack, was thinking about climbin' that hill over there, I'm pretty thirsty! I've got Evian! thank the lord for corner shops! you suck at climbing hills anyway

Enter the Kajun!

---
Dad was flammable

These 3 Blind Mice Aint Runnin' by Spankling 11-15-01

You're a lovely lady, Mrs. Farmer. and last night was all good getting blind pissed with you until you pulled the shiv. But how many times we gotta tell you, we aint mice! Okay... I see it your way now. And I'm sorry about the tails thing. So why don't you fellows drop the gats?

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

This is not out of line, I hope. I just found this place and from what I can tell this is fairly tame.

Robin and Richard by Bogart 11-15-01

Robin and Richard were two pretty men. They lay in bed till the clock struck ten. Then up starts Robin and looks at the sky. Oh, brother Richard, the sun's very high! You go before, with the "bottle and bag..." ...and I will come after on "little Jack Nag." Oh no you don't! You turn around and let me get on your little jack nag for a change!

The poem is a direct quote from Mother Goose herself. She knew some wild folks, I guess.

Because you'd be crestfallen if I avoided punning completely ...

CC80: Hi-yo Silver! by kaufman 11-15-01

See my shiny round head? I'm a spoon! What the? See my shiny round head? I'm a spoon! Oh yeah? Fork you! I hear you're running around pretending to be a spoon. What's that all about? Hey, I've read the nursery rhyme. I'm just wondering which dish will finally run away with me.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Hmm, what other children's story springs to mind with a forum user character named Big Evil Dan? Gosh, I wonder...

CC 80: Pass the Listerine by Namgubed 11-15-01

Meanwhile, at the house made of wood... o/` Who's afraid of the Big Evil Dan? Tra la la la la... o/` Little pig, little pig let me in! Not by the cheese underneath my foreskin! Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow... Why didn'cha say so in the first place? Bring your bitch ass in here and get to work! There's got to be a better way to make a living...

And it's not like you didn't see this one coming three miles away.

CC 80: La Villa Strangiatto by Namgubed 11-15-01

Excuse me, ma'am, I was following this rabbit, you see, and I fell down a hole, and I asked for help, and nobody would, because everybody hates me... Silence! I am the Queen of Hearts, and you will address me as 'Your Majesty'! Now, what is your name, little girl? If it please your majesty, my name is Alison... Alison Wonderland. There is but one penalty for bad puns... Uh-oh... OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

cc80: Storytime by ObiJo 11-16-01

I can't sweep, dada. Tell me a stowee. One story, but then it's off to bed with you, missy. ...so there I am with Ben's guts oozing all over my army-issue boots, and all I can think is how great that first kill felt. I was alive for the very first time. THE END. Later... Dada, my nightwight went out! Gooks in da wiya! Gooks in da wiya!

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

1 Part Hansel, 1 Part Gretal, 1 Part Narcolepsy by ObiJo 11-16-01

ZZZZZZZ

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC80: The Spankling Story by fuzzyman 11-16-01

When I was a child, my mother would read to me every night. Goo! Pwease tell me my fav'wite stowwy again, Mommy!!! Of course, dear! All around the Mulberry bush... I always fantasized about being in those stories. ...The monkey chased the weasel... ...The monkey thought 'twas all in fun... Years later, those fantasies came true... Hi, cutie. My name is Mullberry! Can I buy you a drink? Pop! goes the weasel!

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

This one needs some explanation for those who have been here only a few months. Skagg was the one who came up with the Comic Cup, and refereed the first one. Unfortunately, he vanished off the face of the earth for a couple of weeks right near the end, and the whole thing took ages to finally be recolved and a winner declared. Some ill feeling remains with one or two regulars. *grin* Here is my own take on the topic...

CC-LXXX: Some SC.com history for you all... by DexX 11-16-01

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn. The Comic Cup's stalled, the contestants forlorn. But where is the boy who looks after the sheep? I've been under the haystack with Little Bo Peep! Come back here, loverboy...

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC80: Yolk Festival by kaufman 11-16-01

o/` Louie Louie, whoa-oh... Me gotta go ... Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ... Louie Louie, whoa-oh ... Me gotta go ... IT'S NO USE! All the Kingsmen aren't helping to reassemble Humpty. Better call on those horses!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I thought you didn't want to win this one?

But that doesn't mean I didn't want to have fun in the process. Plus, look at the competition. I figure I'm at best in 3rd place right now.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

HAR HAR HAR!!!

CC 80: Jack and the Brainsuck by Jabizo 11-16-01

FEE FI FO FUM! Yikes! The giant! I'll just grab the golden hairball hacking cat and run.  ??  You idiot! You're supposed to grab ME! The hen that lays the golden eggs! Look, I've been waiting for you. I'm all packed and ready to go! But this kitty is SO cute and cuddly. Aren't you Kitty. Ohh Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Koochie Koo. YO! GIANT! Jack Mucus for Brains is OVER HERE!!

---
Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

HAR HAR HAR!!!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Please excuse the epic, but since I was mutilating one of my childhood favourites, I felt I should at least do a thorough job of it. Apologies to Maurice Sendak, author and illustrator of Where the Wild Things Are.

CC-LXXX: Where the WIld Geeks Are, Part One by DexX 11-16-01

The night Gabe wore his geek clothes and made mischief of one kind Honey! I collated all of the argument we have ever had into an online database... *shudder!* and another Honey! Have a look at this program I just threw together that hurls random insults at you. It might pass a Turing Test if we say_it's_a_taxi_driver... *ack!* his wife called him "WILD GEEK!" and Gabe said "I'LL GEEK YOU UP!" and he was sent to sleep on the couch without eating anything. *click!* We could call it a "Tourette's Test" instead... honey? Hello?

CC-LXXX: Where the Wild Geeks Are, Part Two by DexX 11-16-01

That very night in Gabe's living room a network grew and grew- and grew until his ceiling hung with Base-100 cabling and the walls became the world wide web all around and an information superhighway tumbled by with a private I/O port for Gabe and he browsed away through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild geeks are. Welcome to StripCreator.

CC-LXXX: Where the Wild Geeks Are, Part Three by DexX 11-16-01

And when he came to the place where the wild geeks are they coded their terrible code and repeated their terrible in-jokes What can you code? I know C, C++, HTML, XML, SQL, COBOL... Where do you stand on the issue of donkey sodomy? and typed their terrible typos and showed their terrible geekiness till Gabe said "BE STILL!" Let's introduce him to Tobor! BE STILL! Have a look at this graph I made - the complete comic-creation history of this website! and tamed them with the magic trick of staring into all their bloodshot eyes without blinking once and they were frightened and called him the most wild geek of all and made him king of all wild geeks This guy is truly a colossal geek! He certainly is one sexy hunk of geek...

CC-LXXX: Where the Wild Geeks Are, Part Four by DexX 11-16-01

"And now," cried Gabe, "let the geeky rumpus start!" Hello there. My name is Monique. Is there a Gabriel Billings here? Gabe! The stripper's here! I'm sorry, I must be drunk... I thought you just suggested we start a religion called The Church of Arse... Oh come on! It'll be great! I'll even let you be the Pope! Listen, Mister Talbot or whatever your name is, I already told you that I DON'T SUCK DICK! RAAARRR!!! TOBOR DOES NOT MIND!!! TOBOR IS MORE OF AN ANAL MAN!!!

CC-LXXX: Where the Wild Geeks Are, Part Five by DexX 11-16-01

"Now stop!" Gabe said and sent the wild geeks off to bed without their obligatory UT or Counterstrike session. Tobor cornholed the phone? SHit, I wanted to order a fucking pizza. That's it, you guys - party's over! Aaaawwww... but Gabe... And Gabe the king of the wild geeks was lonely and wanted to be somewhere where someone loved him best of all. *sigh* I need a hug. No, not from you! RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL- Oh, sorry... Then all around from far across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild geeks are. *sniff sniff* Ooohhh... is that breakfast I can smell? Fuck this shit - I'm going somewhere where someone can COOK!

[Click to view comic: 'CC-LXXX: Where the Wild Geeks Are, Part Six'][Click to view comic: 'CC-LXXX: WHere the Wild Geeks Are, Part Seven']

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC80 - Little Fuck Horner by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 11-16-01

Little Fuck Horner sat in a corner , MASTERBAYTING AND THIKNANG OF RAYPING PEEPEL!

I blame Dexx for encouraging me to put this one in.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

*laugh* I don't regret it either - I thought it was funny when you told me about it, and I laughed out l;oud when I read the finished strip.

PS. It took me ages to work ouy that "wiya" is supposed to be babyspeak for "rear". :)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Hmmm... my babylfish translated it as "wire". As in barbed, perhaps.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC80: Baldilocks and the Three Bros by wirthling 11-16-01

Somebody done ate my porridge! And somebody done sat in my chair! And some bitch-ass cracka be tryin' to sneak out my winda! Maybe breaking in here wasn't such a hot idea...

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC80: The Emperor Brad by kaufman 11-16-01

Oh wow, look at the fascinating patterns his chest hair makes! And his thighs! Those muscles ripple like fresh grain. Never mind that! Look at the length of that schlong! HE'S GOT CLOTHES ON! THE EMPEROR'S WEARING CLOTHES!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC80: Humpty Dumpty - Ghetto Style! by KajunFirefly 11-16-01

Humpty motherfuckin' Dumpty y'all! and I 'aint sittin' on no bitch-ass wall! all the Doc's homies and all his G's! better stand back before I pop caps in their knees! must not ruin strip with egg-pun! do you contain an ovum?

---
Dad was flammable

CC80: Gratuitous Gabe-Bashing, Part MCMLXVIII by wirthling 11-16-01

Little Miss Sara sat on her chair-a, eating her curds and whey... What IS this shit?! ...when her spouse, the spoogobbler, said: I got 2 advance tix to Harry Potter!!! ...and she replied: My god! Could you be any more gay?! Oh crap! She's on to me!

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."