HamTwit by kaufman 11-28-09

To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take... Sorry, Hamlet. Your 140 characters is up.

American Twit by kaufman 11-28-09

A long long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile, And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those peop... Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. McLean has used up his 140 characters. Have a good night, and please drive safely.

The Gettysburg Twitter by kaufman 11-28-09

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposit... 150 years later... And that was it? That was it. That's not a very good speech. No, Abraham Lincoln had trouble expressing himself in 140 characters. On the other hand, Calvin Coolidge was a brilliant orator.

I Have a Twitter by kaufman 11-28-09

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self evident: th... Ok, move along, Martin. Your 140 characters are up. Any idea what the fuck he was talking about? I have no idea, man, that's one crazy nigger.

Twitodus by kaufman 11-28-09

1: I am the Lord, thy God. 2: Thou shalt have no other gods beside me. 3: Thou shalt not take the Lord's Name in vain. 4: Remember the Sabba... 3250 years later ... ... And so God twittered Moses the 3 1/3 Commandments. Father, what's a sabba?

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