Recurring Nightmare by kaufman 1-09-10

Oooooh yes, harder, harder! Oh baby, this feels so good. Come on ... honey, honey, what's wrong? Is somebody in bed with us? Click. We were invited, weren't we, Michaela? Absolutely, Tareq, you guys don't mind, do you?

One Autumn Afternoon in Raljon by kaufman 1-09-10

I DON'T believe what I am seeing. That is the FIFTH play in a row that the What? Don't look at us. Redskins were called for too many players on the field.

En Passant by kaufman 1-09-10

We've gone to the third hour of the final game of the World Chess Championship between Ivan Sonovabich and Sergei Getcharoxov. Black Pawn to Rook 6. White Knight to Bishop 5. A brilliant response that may win a piece. But what's this? Where did they come from? Blue Bishop to Queen 7. Check.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Posers by kaufman 1-09-10

Florence, early 1500s. Francesco, I have finally completed the portrait of your wife. Tell me what you think. Oh, Leonardo. It is brilliant. The expression you captured ... the Mona Lisa may be your greatest painting yet. Well, thank you ... But I do have one question. Just who are the Moor and the blonde standing with her in the painting? Huh?

Commercial Outtakes: 1978 by kaufman 1-09-10

And the best thing about Lite Beer from Miller is that it's less filling. No, the best thing about Lite Beer is that it tastes great. LESS FILLING! TASTES GREAT! .......... Where'd they come from? CUT! IT HAS THE CUTEST BUBBLES.

What really happened by kaufman 1-09-10

December 25, 2009 With these explosives in my underwear I'm going to blow up this plane. No way am I landing in Detroit! Bwahaha! Nothing can stop me now. Wait a minute, there's somebody in my shorts! The Salahis save the day again! You don't mind, do you? We have tickets to be seated there. I'm sure of it.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

No one has said this yet, so I'm going to:

Kaufman you magnificent bastard!  I love you!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.