My comics contest ideas suck, so I'll keep this simple: 

All comics must use ONLY characters and backgrounds from the "Office" category. 

No exceptions.  No photoshop.  No references to "Office Space" or "The Office."  No old comics.  No new comics.  Okay wait, strike that last one. 

Also, your stories don't have to have anything to do with offices or people who work in them.  They just have to take place in the "Office" category with "Office" characters.

It may not sound all that exciting, but if you want it to be, this could be the greatest comics contest of your lives.  You just have to want it bad enough.  Or, it could suck. 

In the fullness of time, I will become the leader of the great northern tribe, and judge this contest.  And the Road Warrior?  He exists now...only in my memory.

P.S.  Okay, one exception.  You can also use the "Granny" character from "Dexx."   

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Pump Up the Jam by four_legged_tripod 2-28-12

and then he's like, "Got your nose!" Have you considered a penis pump to make it bigger than your nose?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

CC 498: The 'Old Folks Homer'! by bigworm 2-28-12

Yesterday I used your copy machine, and then left without taking my copy with me? I just came by to see if it was still in the machine. So that's where it came from. We all looked at it and couldn't decide whether it was Homer Simpson or Abe Lincoln. Does that sound like it? I apologize for that, it wasn't something I... For what? You're welcome to use the machine. I probably gave all you guys boners, and that wasn't my intention. OMG! *urp* It was YOUR Homer?!! I've got to tell Ralph, he took the damn thing home to his kids!

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bigworm

Oh, great.  do you have any idea how many @%#$ times I'll have to click the random button to fit your contest requirement?

CC 498: The 'Old Folks Homer'! Pt.2 by bigworm 2-28-12

Ralph, I'm sorry to have introduced your son to this type of material so young in his life. Please pay close attention to his condition... ... and call a Dr. if his boner persists for more than 4 hours!

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bigworm

RCL no. 2858 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-28-12

I can't believe it! Neither can I! I thought it would take a lot longer than this! He was able do it in only three clicks! Ok. So, RCLG was able to randomly click on these characters and layout. Now what? I say we keep standing here with our arms folded, and ogle Mrs. Dollarnipple's tits until she slaps us...

Reach Fulcher by mandingo 2-28-12

hey there, Ben. say, isn't it funny how you're always reaching for something whenever i see you? what are you doing there, filing? filing papers, yeah. ooo, and look at that! what's that you're reaching fer there, Benny ma boy? the paper towel dispenser. now let's see. bland walls calling out for decoration? whatever might Big Ben be doing in here? hanging a picture perhaps? that even in your job description, Reachy Rich? TALK TO THE STUMP.

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what if nigger meant kite

Old people have old parents (Or dead parents). by crabby 2-28-12

Look, Ma. I can get you a job, but I can't promote you up the company too fast. It would... Look bad. Nepotism. You know, the other workers might get upset. You put your own mother in the mail room, Rodger? You make me sick. The only reason I even need this job is because I'm saving up to get your sister Jeanniene's son's wife that breast implant. Look, Ma. That lopsided breast issue with Jeanniene's son's wife's boobs has been bothering us all. That's why I got her a job as receptionist. Then why am I working in the mail room? Look, Ma. I got you a job, but I can't promote you up the company too fast. It would... Look bad. Nepotism. You know, the other workers might get upset! That's why your in the mailroom. You put your own mother in the mail room, Rodger? You make me sick. The only reason I even need this job is because I'm saving up to get your sister Jeanniene's son's wife that breast implant.

12 years means you lack passion. by crabby 2-28-12

Bill, I've been looking for you around the office all morning. Have you emailed Andy over in the UK about getting that P.O. in so we can ship that system out this afternoon? I actually just got into the office. It's about 7:59 on a Monday and I'm just settling in. I'll make sure to get to that right away for you. Look, Bill. I'm sorry if I came at you a bit strong, but as the youngest team leader in the office I often feel like I need to assert myself a little more to get my point across. Here's the thing, "Tom." I've worked for this company going on 12 years now. I used to write handwritten letters to Andy in the UK asking him about how his family was doing. We're Friends! So can you CC me in that email? YOU CAN CC YOUR WAY OUT OF MY DAMN CUBE!

RCL no. 2847 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-24-12

When I joined the CIA, I asked if they would make me a spy or something... They told me I wouldn't necess-arily be a spy, but a "plant" in some-one's office. In retrospect, I should have asked more questions.

Father-Son-Bonding by crabby 2-29-12

Dad, do you remember when I was young and I slipped and fell at Niagra Falls and you met that woman and we moved to Canada for 8 years? Yeah. Those were the worst years of my life. I was actually molested by our neighbor and I know you lied to me about running over Sir Chuckles. Phil Peterson molested you? I lied. I just wanted you to finally admit you ran over my dog. Fine, I ran over your damn dog. Here's another secret, Phil Peterson was my lover and he used to brag about a teen boy he was fucking on the side. If that was you drop trow now and let's do this.

Groovy! - The Cane Mutiny by edoggydog 3-01-12

Sure, I'll tell you how I got my ass kicked... Groovy! I went to visit my dominatrix and... Remember... If, I start to hit you too hard with this cane, just tell me the safe word. Got it? Got it. I thought the safe word was "harder". Oops!

This contest is quickly becoming a [/b]blood[/b] feud.

Racist Cop by crabby 3-02-12

I work here officer! Mmmmmmhmmmm... I'm gonna need to see some I.D. and get a blood, urine and hair sample. I've worked for this company, 26 years! I'm a senior engineer. You calling me racist? You think I just came here to fuck with you because you're a black man? Yes. That is what I think. Shut your mouth, old man!

Racist Cop II by crabby 3-02-12

I received a page at my desk saying the police were requesting my presence in the lounge. You wanted to ask me a few questions? Your name is Kim? You wanna explain that to me? My name is Ken Kim. Ken Kim? Ken Kim? You some type of North Korean? South Korean. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Racist Cop III by crabby 3-02-12

Stop right there invisible man. You would have fooled me if you weren't wearing that stolen police uniform, Who the fuck are you talking to mother fucker? Just because I'm a black man you think I stole this uniform? I've been on the force 27 years. I've been assigned personal guard duty for the mayor. Look invisible man, don't try and play the race card. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SHIT! FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER! ... I'm still wearing my camo from paintball this weekend aren't I? Let me show you some I.D. and a brief glimpse at my pubic hair to prove my authenticty. You check out. Not so fast. It's time to show me some I.D. and pubes, mother fucker.

The Amazing Crotch Crutch! by four_legged_tripod 3-03-12

It's the next great thing in sports medicine. The Amazing Crotch Crutch! What's it for? Groin pulls. It will give extra support to the groin area, like a third leg. I don't know, Phil. I've got a bad feeling about this one. Complaint Dept. Tell me again how you got a crutch stuck in your uterus.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

RCL no. 2865 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-03-12

You can't be in this comic contest... Why not? Because, only characters from the "office" catagory can be in it. You're from the "injokester" catagory. Yeah. Except injokester created the characters in the "office" catagory, so I can be in this based on a technicality! I don't think it works that way. Doesn't matter now since we've spent the first two and a half panels arguing over eligiblity, and have yet to say anything funny.

The Amazing Scotch Crotch! by four_legged_tripod 3-04-12

It's the next great thing in bartending. The Amazing Scotch Crotch! What's it for? Mixologists. It will give them a third "hand" to hold and pour the liquor. I don't know, Phil. I've got a bad feeling about this one. Complaint Dept. Tell me again how you got a bottle of Maker's Mark stuck in your uterus.

Going Crotchless by four_legged_tripod 3-04-12

Phil, I must say that your obsession with crotch related products is disturbing. Sir, I've got more ideas. How 'bout the Crotch Watch or the Sasquatch Crotch? I don't know where this obsession came from but we can't have it here. You're fired! Fido! I'm home! You can bury your head in my crotch one final time and then I have to quit you. Oh boy, oh boy! Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter...

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

That's the Real Thing by choadwarrior 3-04-12

What the fuck, Bill? Are you stealing all the Mexican Cokes I brought in? Cokes are Cokes. The company provides us Cokes to keep us caffeinated and productive. But those are the Cokes I specifically buy at the mercado in the shitty part of town because they come from Mexico where they still use real cane sugar instead of corn syrup. Whatever, dude. I see a Coke in the fridge, I take a Coke from the fridge. I don't care where it comes from. One Chinese Coke coming right up.

cc 498 Chen finds a fren by flipynif1 3-06-12

rikey rikey rikey rikey

been a long time irl tbh... ME RIKEY

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I dumb :D

Perfect! by crabby 3-06-12

Hi, I'm Dale. How are you this evening? No... No... That's all wrong. Come on, Dale old buddy! Do it right! Hi, I'm Dale! How are you this evening?

CC 498:OFFICE... UNDERGROUND!!! by bigworm 3-07-12

Granny!!! What are you doing down here? Did you get lost? No, just lookin' for a little privacy. But you're free to use my office... you know that. Honestly, I'd rather bang myself down here. Okay then...

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bigworm

Youth... Am I right? by crabby 3-08-12

Wait a second... You look VERY familiar. It's me, Ken. We've worked together for 12 years. I work in sales. You're Ken from shipping and receiving! I worked in the warehouse part-time while I was still going to school. That was 9 years ago. That's a shame. I liked shipping and receiving Ken. So did I.

Judging in a day or two.  Eligibility of entries posted after that will be drastically reduced, so please try to post any remaining comics before the judging.  Comics posted during the judging process will not be read until after the final choices are made, thus rendering them technically ineligible.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

but if we wait to the exact moment you've judged but not posted to send a judge to kill your postman, your mail will considerably slow.

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what if nigger meant kite

Perhaps, except technically I don't have a "postman" since my mail carrier is female. And if you send a judge, he or she won't fit into my mailbox.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

all female mail carriers legally qualify as postmen because of their package. that's why she's never invited you to a Sadie Hawkins dance despite the obvious chemistry. if s/he can't jam the judge in the mailbox with those bigass postman hands of hi(r)s, s/he'll probably fall in love with his incomparable dimensionality and they'll raise a family inside his robe

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what if nigger meant kite

too long/didn't understand

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.