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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC82 - Spankling my dear, I don't give a damn!

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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

Never underestimate the power of the Firefly, ha ha!

This contest will follow a certain story, the story is this:

For the past couple of years, around this time we get the usual spiritual crap that "the world is going to end" because the Bible said so, or Nostradamus predicted it, well, this time, it's true, the world is about to end (at least in StripCreator land).

God created the earth as an experiment, the experiment started to go wrong 2000 years ago and he sent his son to save it, but sadly, it just got worse and worse, and now God has decided that the World is too full of Sex, Violence and general evilness to let it continue, so he has decided to end it all.

On the other hand, in Hell, Satan is quite pleased with the state the Earth is in and he would do anything to keep his little house of horrors in operation.

So it's Good vs Evil, God vs Satan, but this time, God is the bad guy.

God has sent Jesus to destroy the world.

Satan has sent Spankling to save it.

You can do what you want with this story, you could run the whole thing from beginning to end, you could just have a one-off strip showing a glimpse of the battle, you could just show the ending, I don't really care, but that's the basic story.

Extra points if:

You include me (as the Pennyarcade BigGabe) in a small Cameo role.

You use Tobor without using the word "CORNHOLE"

You're not a newbie!

so there we go, Heaven vs Hell with Spankling as the hero!

I will announce the winner on Sunday afternoon(GMT), so that's late Saturday night to the rest of you I think!

and that's about it!

---
Dad was flammable | kajunfirefly@gmail.com

11-27-01 11:14am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

And here I thought I already had my hands full.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

11-27-01 11:19am (new)
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TheElPaso
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

CC82: Yes, it's a fair fight. by TheElPaso
11-27-01
Spankling challenges Jesus
Hi. I am here to challenge you to a fight.
That's not fair! I'm tied to a friggin stick! There's no way I can win!
Elsewhere....
I'm here as a cameo to score extra points.
I also score extra points for not using the C word.
Back in the main story...
Let me remind you, that I'm tied to a stick too.
I shouldn't have asked.

---
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

11-27-01 2:48pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

This could be fun by Spankling
11-27-01
ROAAAAARRR!
That's right! Squeal like the stuck pig you are! You'll take it and like it!
AAAHHHH!
OOPSIE! Was my climax to much friction for you? Suffer *****.
*whimper*
Well... back to work. Pull yourself together, my pet.
This could be fun 2 by Spankling
11-27-01
Time to check out world events.
http://www.dailyrotten.com/ "The almighty GOD held a conference today declaring these to be the end days. He will begin destroying the earth without the predicted fanfare of Revelations."
WHAT!?! That prick wouldn't dare! Earth is MY TOY!
"Hell freezing over will be the first sign of the coming end."
*brrrrr* If I pull much harder I'll snap this nipple right off!
"After which he will send in his son to clean up."
This could be fun 3 by Spankling
11-27-01
Little Earth, Little Earth, Let ME COME IN!
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin.
All right. Who invited you?
This could be fun 4 by Spankling
11-27-01
So, how's yer dad? Still the same pompous ass?
Quit knockin' the old man. And what are you doing with that hand in your pants? Don't you fear sin?
I'm just getting ready to smite thee with my sword. What do you fear?
Look... maybe we can talk this over... Do those offers you made me in the desert still stand?
This could be fun 5 by Spankling
11-27-01
Glad you decided to join us, Jesus. Make yourself at home. Enjoy your playmates.
thanks. So who are you kids?
I serve Master Spankling, who has demanded that I serve you.
I serve Master Spankling, who has demanded that I serve you.
I serve Master Spankling (in his dreams).
It looks like you're about to defect and join the side of evil? How may I help?
[Click to view comic: 'That was fun']

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

11-27-01 3:24pm (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

CC 82: WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN OR HELL by crabby
11-27-01
God has sent me here to destroy the earth and I need help. Help me clippy help me!
JESUS! YOU NEED TO USE COMMERCIALISM FIND THE MOST COMMERCIAL THING POSSIBLE AND USE IT TO DESTROY HUMANITY!
I have to save the world from being destroyed by Jesus what should I do!
Use satans most powerful tool to win the fight. Use commercialism to drive away Jesus.
AND SO GOOD VS. EVIL BOTH SEND IN THERE WARRIORS IN A BATTLE TO END ALL BATTLES.......
Harry Potter shall destroy you in the name of Jesus!
Harry Potter shall destroy you in the name of Spankling!

11-27-01 5:29pm (new)
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Kitty_Kat
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

Apocalypse by Kitty_Kat
11-27-01
I am God taking the form of a snowman
The planet Earth was a rotten expiriment, but that make your own planet kit seemed so fun. Well here comes the end of the world. FIRE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I should just send Jesus out.

Apocalypse 2 by Kitty_Kat
11-27-01
My loyal servent. God is trying to destroy my perfect planet Earth.
I have hired you to get rid of his evil plot.
How much will you pay me??
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR PLANET IS IN PERIL, AND YOIU WANT MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, an evil minion of Satan has to eat.

Apocalypse 3 by Kitty_Kat
11-27-01
And so, some of that crappy action music starts to play.
Hey Jesus, why don't we get some of our own evil minions to do our fighting.
It is not holy to let others do what is your own work.
Yeah whatever, I'm gettin me some minions.
But that is not pure for those who follow the way of the Lord.
Oh well. Wanna join me for a beer.
Oh what the ****. I'm just going to get kiled anyways. Lets go.

Apocalypse 4 by Kitty_Kat
11-27-01
Hey. I'm with satan. I'm going to hurt you.
I'm going to kill you.
 Ow 
 Ow 

Apocalypse 5 by Kitty_Kat
11-27-01
OK that didn't work very well. I guess It'll just be you and me.
That is true.
Wait I want to ask you something.
What??
I thought you weren't useing minions.
Ah I just considered the fact that he was going to die anyways so I used him.

[Click to view comic: 'Apocalypse 6']
[Click to view comic: 'Apocalypse Finale']

---
My life totally and completely REEKS.

11-27-01 5:49pm (new)
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israphael
Stripcreator Veteran

Member Rated:

CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness I by israphael
11-27-01
You called Father?
It's come to my attention that Earth has become a truly evil place. Be a good lad and go down and destroy it for me. Off you go.
Damn, figures God would go and spoil my fun.. and right after getting George W. elected president. Only one man is bad-ass enough to stop Jesus.
Meanwhile in a trendy hair salon in SoHo...
Finally, you finish each braid by placing one of these little rubber bands on the end.
THANK YOU. TOBOR GLAD SPANKLING TAUGHT HIM HOW TO CORNROLL.

CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness II by israphael
11-27-01
Sigh... It's such a nice little world. Shame it has to go. What the hell, might as well get this over with.
Hold your horses, stick-boy.
Who are you to defy the son of God?
I am the spawn of the one true source of evil. I'm the son of Bill Gates.
Oh ****! Time for plan B!

CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness III by israphael
11-27-01
So how do we resolve this? We could fight each other, but since we are so evenly matched, it would be pointless.
I have an idea.
I don't even want to ask.
C'mon, trust me. How about pulling a "Job".
You mean arbitrarily screwing with the mind of some unsuspecting mortal? I like it!
I thought you would.

CC82: Spankling - Princess of Darkness IV by israphael
11-27-01
Oh Lord, I did what you asked. I glued floppy discs all over my car. What do you wish of me now?
Flap your arms, strut around, and cluck like a chicken.
HA HA HA This is a great idea of yours, Spankling.
Jesus H. Christ, what mischief are you up to now? You get your butt back into heaven right this instant before I smack you!
Aw mom, I was only having a little fun. Besides, it was dad's idea.
Don't you worry, I'm going to have a few choice words with your father when we get back.

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

11-27-01 6:07pm (new)
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Bogart
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

The Deliverer by Bogart
11-27-01
As Satan is my witness. I will not let you down oh bastion of freedom. Let sodomites raise their rumps and couragously take_one_for_the_cause! We will prevail!
You will be free! We will not let this terrorist, God, ruin our lives!
Ohhhh... He's good. I wish I had voted for him. If he wins he can have me for free, I swear!
I'll give him every buttplug in this box if only he'll save this world from God!
He better be good. I got money on that *******!

11-27-01 7:16pm (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

End Times - Episode 1 by fuzzyman
11-27-01
Jesus, my son... There is so much sex, violence and general evilness in the world....
Yes, I know...
I cannot let it continue! Go forth with wrath and lay waste to all that you see!
Isn't that a little harsh? Maybe we could just flood them again. Whatever happend to kindness and mercy?
Fuck kindness and mercy. Now start destroying stuff, or someone won't get their allowance!
Awww, Dad!

End Times - Episode 2 by fuzzyman
11-27-01
...and that's the weather! In other news today, Jesus returned to Earth, and boy does he have a mad on! Here's Buffy Buffet with a report!
What the...?
Thanks, Jim! Jesus Christ rampaged across North America today, laying waste to everything in his path! Millions were killed or injured.
Oh, ****!
Jerry Falwell was heard to say, "This is the fault of the homosexuals and atheists," as Jesus impaled him on a giant, fiery *****.
Spankling! Get your white ass in here! I have a job for you!

End Times - Episode 3 by fuzzyman
11-27-01
So Satan wants me to find Jesus and convince him not to destroy the Earth. My only problem is... how do I find Jesus?
Hey, man.... Spare some change?
Oh my!
Okay, finding Jesus isn't a problem, then.
Hey, Spanks! What's news? Oh yeah, I'm destroying the Earth! Hahahaha!

End Times - Episode 4 by fuzzyman
11-27-01
So Satan doesn't want Earth destroyed, eh? Sorry, I take my orders from the Big Guy.
I know, I know. There must be some way I can change your mind!
Not likely. I have a date with Mary Magdeline next week. If I don't destroy the Earth, the Old Man will cut me off.
Yeah, well, if I don't change your mind, my boss will cut me off, too, if you catch my meaning.
Oh man, I was just talking about my allowance. You mean he'd...?
Why you you think I keep my hand in my pants?

End Times - Episode 5 by fuzzyman
11-27-01
Okay, I'll make a deal with you.
Thanks, man... I appreciate it.
Don't get all happy yet. Find me me a human... innocent and incorruptable. I shall appear to them in tempting forms!
Goodness, why?
If I succeed in turning them from the path of virtue... the Earth shall be laid waste!
Man, for pure evil, you could give Satan a run for his money! Don't tell him I said that.

[Click to view comic: 'End Times - Episode 6']

[Click to view comic: 'End Times - Episode 7']

[Click to view comic: 'End Times - Episode 8: Afterward']

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-27-01 8:31pm (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

I should explain that the "sodomozing" mentioned in Episode 6 is just like sodomizing, except that the sodomizer pretends to be Moses.

Or, it could be a typo.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-27-01 8:46pm (new)
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BigEvilDan
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

CC 82: Three endings for the price of one. by BigEvilDan
11-27-01
Spankling, I am your father.
NOOOOOOOOO! Well, maybe. My mom was kind of a free spirit.
Man, all this Holy War business is tough. You wanna just go get a pizza instead.
Sure. I already missed that millenium prophecy thing. Armageddon can wait a while longer.
Well that was easy. Now what?

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a *****." - Donald B. Jones III

11-27-01 8:53pm (new)
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Bogart
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

quote:
I should explain that the "sodomozing" mentioned in Episode 6 is just like sodomizing, except that the sodomizer pretends to be Moses.

Parting the red sea takes on a "hole" new meaning.

I truly enjoyed that set, by the way.

11-27-01 9:54pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

quote:
That was fun by Spankling
11-27-01
Well, that little emergency is over. Now to reset the temperature...
Setting complete.
Much better. Now what was I forgetting to do?
SPANKLING! YOU SNIVELING WORM, GET IN HERE!!!!
EEP! Yes my worship! Please don't be angered! How may I serve thee?
YOU'VE BEEN NEGLECTING ME! DROP AND LET ME CRUSH YOUR TONGUE INTO THESE HOT EMBERS NOW!

Sometimes I think Spankling has a crush on me.

Isn't that right, worm?

:)

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

11-28-01 12:44am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

quote:
Sometimes I think Spankling has a crush on me.

Isn't that right, worm?

:)


If I may be so bold, I would say that it is you who should crush me.

OH! "a crush on..."

You are right as always. How rude of me to even suggest less. I should be punished. No... really! I should!

Please?

Maybe if I lay on the floor... Not low enough? Let me try harder. *begins to slam skull into the oak floor*

I'll get lower (ouch). *slam* I'll try *slam*

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

11-28-01 10:19am (new)
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Bogart
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

Do you two want to be alone? And if you do, will you take pictures?

11-28-01 1:57pm (new)
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TheElPaso
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

If you'll look to your left, you'll see I'm no longer a newbie but rather a "junior comic technician". So I want ALL the extra points possible. Not that I figure any amount of help will let me win a contest Kajun's running, but I want my points.

---
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

11-28-01 3:07pm (new)
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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

quote:
If you'll look to your left, you'll see I'm no longer a newbie but rather a "junior comic technician". So I want ALL the extra points possible. Not that I figure any amount of help will let me win a contest Kajun's running, but I want my points.
C'mere. Tobor will show you about points.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-28-01 4:58pm (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

quote:
If you'll look to your left, you'll see I'm no longer a newbie but rather a "junior comic technician". So I want ALL the extra points possible. Not that I figure any amount of help will let me win a contest Kajun's running, but I want my points.
ElPaso, we seem to have a rather amusing relationship here, one forum I'm agreeing with you, another we're exchanging insults.

In this thread however, I'm going to be fair, and I'm not going to just disregard your entries because of personal opinions.

but know this, in all fairness, at the moment, your strip, isn't going to win, please believe me when I say I'm not meaning any offence, just......put in another one!

---
Dad was flammable | kajunfirefly@gmail.com

11-28-01 6:49pm (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

quote:
I should be punished. No... really! I should!

Please?


No.

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

11-28-01 7:10pm (new)
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Kitty_Kat
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

comic # 2 for this contest
Crapanese cartoon styled good vs evil by Kitty_Kat
11-28-01
Some of that crapanese music starts to play
Hey You I'm gonna beat you
Hey I'm gonna beat you.
We're just going to talk all day and then the winner will be decided with no action
right
See

---
My life totally and completely REEKS.

11-28-01 7:33pm (new)
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Kevin_Keegans_Perm
Bean There, Done That

Member Rated:

cc 82 : its 6am. Buggered if ill make this funny. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
11-28-01
Spankling. Ill make this real simple for you. Accept defeat , and ill spare your life.
HAH. Thats not offering me much. Big S will give me 1000 beatings a night for all eternity if i succeed.
Youre just not getting this , are you. Everyone will die. You cannot defeat me.
Hmmmm.
Oh Bollocks. Now i sound like Alan Rickman.
At least you didnt threaten to remove my intestines with a spoon.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

11-28-01 9:31pm (new)
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israphael
Stripcreator Veteran

Member Rated:

quote:
quote:
I should be punished. No... really! I should!

Please?


No.


Ouch! You're a strict mistress.

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

11-28-01 10:05pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

CC 82: Cross my palm with silver by kaufman
11-29-01
Whoa, JC, that nail in your right hand looks rusty. You ought to replace it before you get a nasty case of tetanus!
Oh no, I can't get sick, I'm on a mission. Do you have anything that might hold me up here?
Well ... I do have something ... but it's straight from the Ninth Circle ...
I don't care! Just get that nail out before I get infected!
Extreme close-up of hand, 40X magnification
YOU BASTARD!
It looks like you're trying to make a fist. Would you like me to help?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11-29-01 7:58am (new)
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TheElPaso
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

CC82: Another entry - 1 by TheElPaso
11-28-01
So, uh, should we fight to the death or determine the winner by who can watch "Different Strokes" reruns the longest?
What the?
You wanted to change the background to "bombs". You accidentally clicked on "whitehouse".
I thought I sent some kamikaze Afghans to blow this place up back around mid-early September.....

CC82: Another entry - 2 by TheElPaso
11-28-01
Whatchutalkinbout?
We give up! Blow up the Earth, just don't make us watch this!
Yes, please, I need to save my puke for later!
No, no, you all have won!
The true enemy reveals himself.
Yes! You may have this planet, we'll just make another one!
It seems you're looking for the remote. Well, this time you can help yourselves!

CC82: Another entry - 3 by TheElPaso
11-28-01
Okay, if you give us full rights to this planet, we'll give you a gamecube.
I want games. 10 of them.
Allright. Deal?
Deal.
Sucker, doesn't realize we're just going to blow it up...
Sucker, doesn't realize he's getting ten copies of "Pikmin"...

CC82: Another entry - 4 by TheElPaso
11-29-01
Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with this gamecube?
It seems you are trying to get rid of your games. How can I help?
Here, take them. I don't care. I just don't want them any more.
Wow, gamecube! And ten whole dfferent copies of "Pikmin"! I'm going to be popular guaranteed! Here, you can have the remote to your TV back!
Well, that was nice. He's going to heaven for sure... Hey! He took the batteries!

CC82: Another Entry - 5 by TheElPaso
11-29-01
From Heaven (remodeled into a spaceship)
Let's see, was it the red button or the blue button that destroyed Earth?
It seems you want to blow up the Earth. My built in magnification feature can help you.
The red button
Destroy Earth
The blue button
Self Destruct
Oh well, I'll just push them both.

[Click to view comic: 'CC82: Another Entry - 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC82: Another entry - 7']
[Click to view comic: 'CC82: Another entry - finale']

---
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

11-29-01 2:38pm (new)
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Kevin_Keegans_Perm
Bean There, Done That

Member Rated:

CC82 - The Serial Pt 1 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
11-29-01
I tell you what. Give me a good reason why i cant blow this place up ,and if i cant think of a better reason , then you win.
Ok. Double Penetration strap-ons.
The Weakest Link
Kevin Smith Movies
Adrian Zmed
Ohhhh ****. Now how do i counter that.

CC82 - The Serial Pt 2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
11-29-01
Nuclear Weapons
Nipple Rings
Kevin Costner Films
The Catholic Church
Wait a minute ....The Catholic Church?
They speak with your voice , and Jesus , you done ****ed up your own handiwork.

CC82 - The Serial Pt 3 (Lo Dogma) by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
11-29-01
So , since i set up the catholic church , and they speak in my voice , i have to do what they say?
Basically yes. If youre infallible , and you preach love , trust , forgiveness and pro-life , you have to abide by those rules.
But dad said ......
Your dad ****ed up. He forgot to read his own rules. And if you break them , existence ends.
Does this mean i dont have to spend another second on this ****ing cross?
Damn, Turning Jesus against his dad was easier than i thought.

CC82 - The Serial Pt 4 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm
11-29-01
Dad , if i destroy the earth , im going against your word. If i dont , im going against your word. So ive decided on a compromise.
You WHAT? You cant compromise the word of God. Thats what Lucifer did , and look what happened to him.
Yeh. He got made overlord of hell , and all his plans for earth to become completely ****ed up succeeded.
Of course , if thats what you want , i could just go join him ......
no , you may as well come home. Its your mothers time of the month anyway , i need the support.

Comic 3 is clearly ripped from Dogma. Comic 4 clearly has a weak punchline. Its 3 Am , and i cant think of anything else funny to write.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

11-29-01 7:11pm (new)
quote : comics : pm : info

Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC82 - Spankling my dear, I don't give a damn!


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