I was going to turn this into a series, and then I thought it would be more fun to ask you folks to fill in more episodes in the life of Jason and Bernice. Please do!

Trouble Under Paradise by Bogart 11-30-01

Jason, I get the feeling you have a fear of commitment. We never cuddle. Bernice, we're fish. You lay eggs on the rocks and weeds and I rub my belly on them until I blow jiz. WHAT'S TO CUDDLE?!?

Okay... bad idea… a newbies idea... Bad, unwashed newbie!

Maybe I should just go ahead and punch a few of these out myself. And if no one else likes them, oh well. My wife tells me I do all sorts of things simply for my own pleasure and no one else’s. Why should this be any different?

But if anyone DOES eventually want to contribute an episode I would be glad to see it here.

Trouble Under Paradise 2 by Bogart 12-01-01

So I said, "What's to cuddle?" She just flipped fin and swam off. I mean what does she want from me? You know, it can add a lot to a relationship to show occasional tenderness. It takes so little... I should have known better than to spill my guts to a flesh-licking mammal. The way you molly coddle your kids makes me sick. That reminds me. The missus asked me to pick up a bit of red fish for dinner tonight. You don't have plans do you? So.... a little tenderness you say. Uh... very wise... I better give it some thought. Well... gotta go! At least tell me where you spawn! You said yourself all those kids are a pain!

Trouble Under Paradise 3 by Bogart 12-01-01

Go right on it. The doctor will see you now. Thanks, sweetheart. Hey doc. It's about Bernice. She's goin' over the top with this intimacy thing. Say no more. Bernice is a sensitive fish. Bring her by tomorrow around noon and I'll give her a session with Gill. Gill? That shark masseuse you hired? An hour with that big boy and she'll forget all about being intimate with you.

Heh heh! Welcome to the weird and wonderful dystopia that is my favourites list, Bogart!

I actually like this series, Bogart, but I couldn't come up with any decent ideas for my own follow-up.

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Trouble Under Paradise 4 by Bogart 12-03-01

mmphl! Yeah that little red bitch was just dying for a rub on my rows of teeth, let me tell you! Sooner or later they all come to Gill. mphlph glphmmm mmm mmph? What? Oh... sure I'm gonna eat you. But I just had to tell someone about that before I went back to work. So... do you think I should bite her next time or just let her keep coming in for appointments?

Now aren't you two sorry you encouraged me? But thanks anyway!

You're on my favorites list. The idea of a burbling Cement Overshoes in an underwater series is too funny.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"