I hope all of you can take a few minutes to read about this courageous little boy.

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My name is Billy Evans. I am 9 years old. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick.

I was born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires people who cry all the time. I said, "don't cry, Mommy" and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always
gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johanssen said that for every person you forward this e-mail to, Bill Gates and AOL will send a nickel to NASA. With all those nickels, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take tthem up into space so the angels can hear them better.

Then, the astronauts will come back to Earth and go to the Pope and he will take up a collection in church and send all that money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now, I can only be 3rd base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean, heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long, slow horrible death and then burn forever in Hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take 5 stinkin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless 9 year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's sooo hard.

I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't try to bury its' droppings in the eaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You.
Billy Evans

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I know what can help.

Won't one of you with the talent to do so please draw and send Brad gifs of the Burlap Boy character?

Sally Struthers would be so proud of you.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

It reminds me of the short story by R. Bradbury, where the little boy is born into another dimension and he looks like a blue pyramid to us. So the parents find out that docters can't change, but can change them to go to that dimension. So in the end they're a happy family of ovals, cubes, and pyramids.

Maybe Billy's mother should consider the disembodiment option, just to be with her son, out-of-body and spirit.

Except for the ones born in late April or early May. They're toruses.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Except for the ones born in late April or early May. They're toruses.

You bastard.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Burlap Boy in 25 years

that was cheap/easy.

No... I... must... resist... another... cheap joke....

Burlap Boy is the funniest thing I've read in quite some time, the thought of some woman giving birth to just a head amuses me

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Dad was flammable

I'm sickened that you can laugh at this poor child's pain.

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No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since God Almighty protects the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.

I was sick enough to laugh at the last couple of comics you made,
substitute teacher - class.

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Dad was flammable

I bask in the fleeting light of your approval.

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No names have been changed to protect the innocent, since God Almighty protects the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.

There are absoloutely no limits on what i will laugh at.

And Burlap boy is one of them.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

PALRUB BOY WILL GIVE YOU HEAD!

See, we do need a drawing of this.

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

A few years ago, someone maliciously posted an edited version of the burlap boy e-mail on a messageboard I frequented. Their version was about my then girlfriend.

That was me, sorry, I was drunk, it was supposed to be about your Maw giving nothing but head, but I got all mixed up.

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Dad was flammable

Same thing really. He just had a falling out with his maw.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet