Clash of the Titans I by israphael 12-31-01

Hi I'm Andy Dougan, film critic of "The Evening Times". Tonight I'm going to review "A Beautiful Mind". Beat it, punk. Everybody knows I'm the only person who deserves using the "Jon" character to portray themselves. Well if it isn't Israphael. Still trying to be funny using obscure pop culture references? Better than lame jokes about biscuits and Cameron Crowe. Looks like the fight heating up. I wonder how long before they call each other bitch and the slapping, scratching, and hair-pulling begins.

Clash of the Titans II by israphael 12-31-01

So what's up with The Ambiguously Gay Duo over there? That's just Israphael and Andy Dougan fighting over who gets to use the "Jon" character. I like using the "Jon" character as it fits in well with the loser persona I've cultivated. If that's the case, then I win. I haven't gotten laid in the last three months. HA! I got you beat! I didn't get laid all of last year! And you know what, I probably won't get laid this year! Gotcha!

Clash of the Titans III by israphael 12-31-01

Andy Dougan and Israphael take their case to Brad. Look, I don't want to be confused with this whining low-rent Dennis Miller. As if soggy biscuits and "yer maw" jokes are major cultural contributions. If I understand things correctly, you both want characters that better reflect your personas. I can fix that. I hope you're happy.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

My Dinner With Spankling I by israphael 12-31-01

Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Spankling. I really appreciate your help in becoming a real forumuser. No problem. I'll use any excuse to come here. It's my favorite restaurant. Hello gentlemen. Tonight's special is venison. We get it so tender by having Norwegian dwarves club a fawn to death with cricket bats. I don't think I like the idea of dwarves beating my meat. I do.

My Dinner With Spankling II by israphael 12-31-01

So you want to become a real forum user. That's good. But you must realize that this honor comes with some major responsibilities. Responsibilities? I don't understand. As a forum user you serve as a role model to others. Ha Ha Ha. No offense, Spankling, but you a role model? Where do you think little perverts come from?

My Dinner With Spankling III by israphael 12-31-01

Have you gentlemen decided what you wish to order? I... I really don't know... I'll order for you. We'll both have the number seven. Here you go, gentlemen. Enjoy your meal. I like exotic food as much as the next person. But do they have to leave the head on? The head is the best part.

My Dinner With Spankling IV by israphael 12-31-01

So what's up with Lady J? Why is she alway so bitchy. You're mistaking our on-line personas with real life. Although I play a submissive male, in real life I'm a powerful man with an important job. SIR, I'M SORRY TO DISTURB YOU, BUT WE HAVE A SITUATION. What the hell is that? That's real life calling. I have to go. I'll be back as soon as possible. What is it now, Lorraine? Mr. Cheney, the president's head is stuck in the trash can again.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Classic.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I love getting all the good lines in other people's comics!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Rocking.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"