A Crappy Comic by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-15-02

WELCOME TO AL QAIDA PRETZEL COMPANY. HELLO. AFTER YEARS OF ISSUING FATWAS , WE HAVE DECIDED THAT , SINCE IT DIDNT WORK WITH SALMAN RUSHDIE , WE NEED A NEW APPROACH. THATS RIGHT. ORDER NOW FROM OUR DELICIOUS (AND FATAL) RANGE OF PRETZELS. GUARANTEED TO LAY LOW EVEN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD. ORDER 10 BOXES , AND GET A FREE ANTHRAX WHOOPIE CUSHION. ALLAH AKBAR! You think this is worthy of a spot in "Crappy Comics" I doubt even Crabby himself could improve upon it.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

And the sequel.

A Crappier Comic by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-15-02

Them damn terrorists tried to kill me with pretzels Daddy. I know they did. Son , you just choked on a pretzel. It wasnt the arabs. Just calm down. I know it was Daddy. There was a slight error on the side of the packaging that i saw just in time and spat the pretzel out. A slight error on the side? Yeh daddy. It said "Ma Brady's good old american Pretzels. Made in Richmond , Virginia , die you imperialist pig dog. May contain nuts. Hmmm

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Dubya's World Tour by kramer_vs_kramer 1-11-02

India Yee-haw! I sure would like to stop a war between the Injuns and the Pakis! The Bronx I'd like to say that I will bring about a greater standard of life for all niggers. Home at last! Evening darling. How did the world tour go? Just swell, bitch.

I think most of mine could be considered crappy...

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Nice teeth Shane, now I'll just kill your old mum...

Actually some of yours are quite good. Although lots of them just don't really go anywhere and kind of peter out.

And in a fight between Britney and Coby Dick I'd be rooting for Britney every time. Coby Dick is a twat.

Through the Ages by kaufman 1-15-02

Clinton ......................... Bush I I did not have sexual relations with that pretzel. Read my lips: No new pretzels! Reagan .......................... Carter I have no recollection about any pretzels. I was talking to my daughter Amy about pretzel proliferation Ford ................................ Nixon Our top story tonight: President Ford tripped over a pretzel. Six Secret Service agents wrestled the pretzel to the ground. I am not a pretzel!

Next week: Johnson through Hoover.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I hate when that happens.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Ich bin ein pretzel!

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What others say about boorite!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Pppppffft! I was all set to go with "Ask not what your pretzel can do for you. Ask what you can do for your pretzel."

Sigh, Now I've got to throw in Coolidge instead :-)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com