What if various Stripcreator characters were advice columnists?

Spankling: Advice Columnist by fuzzyman 2-18-02

DEAR SPANKLING: My mother-in-law to be wants to come along on the Honeymoon with my fiance and I. She keeps pushing the idea of making it a family trip. My fiance told her the honeymoon is going to be just for us. He tried to tell her we all could go someplace together another time, but she got upset. Please help! -- BRIDE-TO-BE DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: What's your problem? Not too keen on a threesome? Come on! Just because she's old doesn't mean she's dead! And if she *is* dead, hey, that's cool, too!

Spankling: Advice Columnist #2 by fuzzyman 2-18-02

DEAR SPANKLING: I am 15 years old. My family keeps telling me I am gaunt and too thin. I think I am fat -- way fat. From my point of view, I have an enormous stomach and big legs. My parents say that I'm too thin. Doctors tell me to eat more. People tell me I am underweight. Here's my picture. What do you think? -- FATTY IN FRESNO DEAR FATTY: Thank you for the lovely picture. However, it's very hard to evaluate your condition while you are clothed. Please send some naked pictures of yourself to me at this address. I've enclosed a list of poses that will help me come to a conclusion.

Feel free to join in.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Kajun Firefly: Love Doctor by KajunFirefly 2-18-02

Hello Kajun, this is Kelly from East Kilbride, , I have low self esteem and I'm always paranoid that people don't like me, I've ended up sleeping with lots of random men to make me feel better... ...but I don't feel better, I just feel cheap and used and more depressed, it's a downward spiral of bad emotions, hang on, someone's at the door.... ...oh hey, how'd you get here so quick? what? you think I'm beautifull? really?

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Dad was flammable

no offense to gabe in particular, just another reg to use the joke on.

Dear Bazilla..... by Bazilla 2-19-02

Dear Bazilla, I'm having trouble being liked, everyone hates me. How do I get people to like me? If I knew I'd tell you. How come people don't like me yet they like, say, people that get raped by robots? You see, assraping robots have somehow dominated the new millenium. If I turn into an ass raping robot, will people like me? That's it! I need to turn into an ass raping robot!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Nate, you've got me totally wrong. I'd never answer that question in such a way. I know as well as you that the proper treatment for a kitten in deep shock is a medicine made from distilled juniper extract. Give it nine teaspoons of the medicine (one for each life), and everything will be just fine.

Never underestimate the power of a good mix of gin and catatonic!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

A strip I'm going to post whenever a joke makes me groan by andydougan 10-12-01

The Kaufman comic is completely inaccurate , as Kaufman clearly didnt respond with a truly awful pun (Such as the Gin and Catatonic pun).

Which , incidentally , gave me an Aneurysm. Thanks Ken.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Dear KPP... by fuzzyman 2-19-02

DEAR KPP -- I'm a pretty normal guy. I'd like to take ladies out on dates. The problem is, I have no cash. The problem is, I'm horny as hell! I don't have the money to take a girl out for a drink, let alone hire a hoker. I'm desperate enough to try anything! Help! -- GLASGOW GUY DEAR GUY -- If you're that desperate, then here is the phone number for Andy's maw. Just make sure she tips you after she's had her way with you!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Fuzzyman: Just Doing His Job by Spankling 2-19-02

Dear Fuzzyman: I_feel_so_used! You_take_my_identity and make me say disturbing things. Things that give children nightmares. Things that make me shiver... and laugh. Yes? Thank you! Don't mention it. Now to win another photoshop contest using this picture I found of Spankling, this horses ass, and this hot tub background.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I'm not so sure about the "win" part. Boorite and Gabe keep kicking my ass.

Per your request...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Damn you. Im choking to death on my own spit here.

Oh. And why is it every time you make a comic about me , you initial it "KPP" when its "KKP"?

A unique form of Dyslexia , or just a typo?

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

quote:

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Damn you. Im choking to death on my own spit here.

Oh. And why is it every time you make a comic about me , you initial it "KPP" when its "KKP"?

A unique form of Dyslexia , or just a typo?

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