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djsparkydog
Member - Tobor Fan Club
Member Rated:
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| Hi folks Sparky here to tell you about a revolutionary drug that'll change you life!! | |
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| That's right, I'm talking about CRACK!!!! | |
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| Crack is the amazing new superdrug brought to you by our fine associate Silky the Kwanza Pimp | |
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| Crack will make all your pain float into the etherium. You'll be more popular. More likeable. You'll have more zest for life! | |
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| and if you don't believe me speak to our satisfied customers!!! | |
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Here's Selma, long time crack user and transvestite hooker.
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| Crack grew all my hair and teeth back. Now I can make more money on the streets to buy crack! | |
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Here's Bob. Bob was a long time workaholic with completely unmanageable stress levels, and ulcers on top of his ulcers! Look what crack did for him!
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| Before Crack, I had all kinds of problems... Now I only have one... CRACK!!! | |
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| Now let's do some on the spot interviews, and free trial giveaways! | |
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| When you say "Free Trial Giveaway", you mean "I'm gonna pay Silky for every last rock", right? This shit don't grow on trees man. | |
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| Excuse me, Miss! Would you like to try some free Crack? | |
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| I don't know... I like the drugs I have right now... what the hell, it's free right? Pass me the light bulb! | |
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| My heart... feels.... funny... | |
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| Another satisfied customer! Silky, come get the body and put it with the other ones! | |
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| AND to prove the unbelievable power of Crack, I've used a flame thrower to set this schoolbus full of children on fire... | |
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| But because of the unbelievable power of our product, they all think theyre roasting marshmallows around a camp fire! | |
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| Yo Sparky! We didn't give 'em any crack, we already handed out all the sample bags. | |
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| Uhhhh... CUT TAPE! What do you mean we're live? Shit! Go to the stock footage! | |
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Dial 1-800-CRAK-ROK Now!!!!!!
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| Well, thanks for joining us today, and learning about the beauty of Crack! | |
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| Damn fine shit, I'll tell you that much. You bitches. | |
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Dial 1-800-CRAK-ROK Now!!!!!!
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| Crack. Supermodels will love you. Your dick will get bigger. You'll never grow old. You'll be rich. Gold will drip from your fingers like spring rain. Jesus will love you even more. | |
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| And if that shit doesn't happen you'll be too damn strung out to sue us. | |
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Dial 1-800-CRAK-ROK Now!!!!!!(You bitches)
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Goddamit I love that Magical Kwanza Pimp
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HAH! GORILLA, right there!
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