But Bush is trying to sell this picture for that price in order to make a buck off of the 9/11 tragedy.
Here are some captions for it I found on the web already. Feel free to pile on.
"But Dick, I soiled my pants when I learned about the attacks so please just let me come back to Washington for a change of underwear. I promise I won't get in anyone's way!"
"Daddy, you promised me that Dick would take care of everything and now there's going to be a war. I never agreed to do anything other than pretend to be in charge. I wanna go home!"
"I know honey, it sounds strange to me too, but if the Secret Service says I have to keep flying around so that Dick can be in charge who am I to question them? They are all a lot smarter than me!"
"I love you too, honey, and tell the kids daddy will be back just as soon as Karen and Ari invent a cover story for why in a moment of crisis my true role in decision-making was revealed."
"Yes operator, get my stockbroker please. Hello? I need you to execute an immediate buy order -- put everything I've got into Haliburton, Carlyle Group and United Defense and make sure it goes into accounts under my children's names."
"Oh Daddy you were right! The value of the stock we bought in Haliburton, Carlyle Group and United Defense is going to go way up. How did you ever know?"
"Well Dick everything went according to plan: The towers fell and the entire country and even the top brass at the Pentagon is terrified. Suddenly I've got a mandate to do all the things I couldn't have dreamed of being able to ram through before this, and the folks who used to think I was an idiot who stole the election now think I'm a hero. This government thing is amazing. I had no idea it was going to be this easy!"
"Yes, it is terrible, terrible.... But OK, now how can we use this to our advantage?"
"Yes, thank you for noticing. It may be a sad day for America but it sure is a great day for me! And in a couple of months we can exploit all this in fundraising appeals for the Republican Party!"
"Yeah, well, they hit New York City and Washington -- two cities that I couldn't win an election in for dog catcher. Big deal! You're sure that Texas and Florida are protected, right?"
"They want to cancel baseball games tonight? Are they crazy? Show me how to do that order that sends them all back to work."
"Absolutely, I will go wherever you need me most, you know you can count on me! Nebraska? OK, I'm on my way. I'll have someone call you when I get up from my nap."
"Look, I don't give a damn who did what to who -- if I don't get my exercise and my nap today I'm gonna break out in boils again!"
"Hey, you promised me that only Democrats and other undesirables would be offed. What the hell happened?"
"Listen asshole, the reason Daddy hired you was to make sure my ass stays safe and warm. Look at Baker -- he knew enough to fix the election without getting me involved. Now I don't care who we attack or how much it costs -- just fix this. Call me when it is safe to come back."
"Listen sweetie, I don't know how else to say it but I only have one hand free to touch myself when you talk dirty to me. Now I understand why Clinton got an intern to help him with this."
"You don't get it do you? There is no booze, no broads and no cable on this plane. I am going nuts up here. Just land me somewhere so I can load up on party provisions and I promise I won't call you back for a few days."
"Are you kidding? This is a stroke of absolute genius. Tell Laura what you tell the press -- that I am in a safe undisclosed location. So it is a lot of trouble to get me a few more days off, just deal with it."
"Hey Dad! I hit the Trifecta! They can't say I'm illegitimate now, can they?"
"But Mr. Rumsfeld, I made myself scarce just like you told me, why can't I come home now?"
"Wait, I don't understand. What makes you so sure that blaming Clinton for this is not going to work?"
"Hey, I've got it! I'll just say that the reason they hate us so much is that we have free and fair elections! Is that funny or what?"
"I'm telling you you have to send a team to New York to sieze Rudy Guiliani and lock him up. He's making me look like a coward!"
"OK, whatever, listen can we wrap this up? They're showing 'Glitter' in a few minutes..."
"Hello Al? Be out in front in 20 minutes we'll be there to hand all this over to you and I am really, really sorry for the mix up. Of course I should never be here pretending to be president."
"Oh, it really is not a problem, Dick. You know, with this neat in-flight refueling thing that the Air Force can do, we can really stay here indefinitely."
"Wait, hold on, the photographer is here again so I have to look like I'm in charge."
"Let me get this straight -- our story is that even though Osama and Daddy are in business together I'm supposed to say that he's an evildoer and we want to get him dead or alive? But Karen, that is almost too stupid to believe, but of course if you say so..."
"Oh come on Dick, tell them to let me have a drink or two. We won't land until I sober up and you don't really need me for anything anyway, right?"
"Yes, planes hitting buildings, I got it. But did you know they forgot to load any rocky mountain oysters on the plane? I mean, can you believe it?"
"Above all else Karen and Karl I need you guys to make sure that no one ever knows that we were warned about the attacks in advance."
"Let's review: We threatened the Taliban with war and they decided to use Al Qaeda to bring in a first strike rather than wait to be annhilated. So how on earth are we going to make it seem like this was a sneak attack we knew nothing about?"
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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet
