ATTENTION! All newbies will be hanged, drawn-and-quartered, ground into hamburger, and fed to a lumberjack. You will then be shat out and eaten by a dog. That dog's crap will be eventually taken to a landfill, where it will get mixed up with other garbage before being recycled into a sweater. That sweater will be worn for several years by a homeless man until he dies. After his body is found several days later in a state of advanced decomposition, the sweater will then be burned by a coroner's assistant. I will then piss on the ashes.
No, wait--that didn't come out right. What I meant to say was "Welcome, one and all."
---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."