All Things Continuum by Namgubed 7-25-02

Golly gee, Mr. Peabody, where are we going today? For a change of pace, Sherman, I'm going to set my Wabac Machine to the year 2072! Gosh! Are we gonna see flying cars and space colonies? Only time will tell! ... uh, that was a joke. Anyway, here we go! *** BZAPPT!! *** ... Shit.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

133!

damn.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC 133: Now you know why he invented the floating ball by kaufman 7-25-02

Hey, what are these packages? Be careful, they're my new invention. Packages of powdered water. Just add hydrogen hydroxide, and foom! Cool. Let me add a drop ... bllblblblblblllb! Still a few bugs to work out. That sounded more like a boom than a foom.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...Brain...swelling...Must...hold...on... by ObiJo 7-26-02

Hoo-rah, Potley. I think I've, how should I put it, got it. arf arf! It's a brain-to-brain, how should I put it, interface. Let us commence with the, how should I put it, first trial. arf arf! I can feel your, how should I put it, thought pulses. ...must...not...think... ...about...plan...to... ...murder...master...

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

...Eyes...blee...ding...Can't...give...in... by ObiJo 7-26-02

Egads, Potley. Were you actually considering, how should I put it, wacking me? Of course I was. ...NOT...think...ing... ...a...bout...that... But I specifically heard you say, how should I pu ...that's...for...a... ...te...le...play... ...I...am...wri... ...ting... Egads, Potley. You're writing a, how should I put it, sitcom? You're a, how should I put it, naughty dog. *Thump* Ouch you stupid, soon-to-be-dead, motherfucker! ...IS... ...the...name...of... ...my...pro...tag... ...o...nist...

Welcome back, Spankenstein. Missed you.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

If you could read my mind, love:
"Moose cock."

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What others say about boorite!

The History of the World, Part 3 by ObiJo 7-26-02

In the beginning, I created the heaven and the earth. Billions of years later, I can do better than this shithole. 30 seconds from now, arf arf! Dance, my stupid little earthling! DANCE!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 133: Apocalypse now and then by boorite 7-26-02

You'll be glad to know I've invented a Supercritical Fluid Chromatograph. Can it open a twenty year old bottle of irradiated beer? No, but it purifies combinatorial compound libraries at 20 to 100 times the rate of current systems. Stupid fucking bug.

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What others say about boorite!

It's that time.

I notice turn-out was a bit light for this one. I suspect it was the talking animals stipulation. Too "Chucky Cheese" for some of you? Ah, well. I'll try to concoct better rules after my next projected victory in April of 2007. For now, all that's left is to decide who'll receive this fabulous surprise cash award.*

And the lucky recipient is: Scyess, for numerous quality entries.

Congratulations on your new found wealth. Runner-up ObiJo gets first pick from amongst your old wardrobe.

All the entries were great, guys. Thanks for the laughs.

*I'm sure Brad has your prize money, or something.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

And rightly so.

And I'm not just saying that to kiss ass for next contest. Though I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of it.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

And that, as it appears to be the only way I can win one of these stupid things, is just fine with me.

Are you kidding? These rules are great. I plan to continue this theme even after the contest is long over, which I suppose is right now.

And the special prize for non-specificness is, er, that guy.

Indeed. I swear those stains are all just, er, mayonaise.

New rules coming shortly, ladies and gents. See you soon.

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"Old" is the old new.

Itsclark, you have atrocious taste. My entries kicked so much ass, it wasn't even funny.

Was it supposed to be funny?

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What others say about boorite!

I chose to place a higher value on quantity rather than quality. I'm thinking of opening a sweatshop someday.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

I'm not sure I like the direction this conversation is turning...

But nevertheless I will post these to show I am still running with the theme:

Quest for Liquidity by Scyess 7-29-02

No, please... no more inventions... But this may be my best one yet! Liquid tampons! This looks like a caulking gun. That's my patented E-Z applicator! I can see where you crossed through the word "caulk" with a magic marker. Uh oh, time to have a word with the packaging department.

Quest for an Aerosol by Scyess 7-29-02

They said it couldn't be done, but I've come up with an even better idea than my liquid tampons... SPRAY-ON tampons! I see you've hooked your caulking gun up to a high-pressure hose. You mean my patented E-Z applicator. I mean you can still make out the word "caulk" from where you tried to scratch it off with a coin. Dammit, the packaging department won't even be able to fathom how fired they are.

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"Old" is the old new.

OK, based on those strips, I'm willing to entertain the proposition that maybe, sometime, in some imaginable universe, Scyess won.

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What others say about boorite!

Well, no. Mainly I just got really ripped and pulled a name out of my ass.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"