I have discovered that I like using shifting perspective in comics, and so now that I am in charge of this contest I have decided to make you do it, too.

In this contest you will have to use a flash-back, flash-forward, or flash-sideways (cut to another location) in your comic. But since that's a pretty broad rule, I'll constrain it by saying you also have to use one (and only one) type of low humor in your comic.

The flashes can be indicated by a change in scene or characters, a narration bar, or anything else you feel like using, so long as it's some sort of shift in time or place. It can be in any panel of the comic (or multiple panels if you can figure out how to make a multiple-panel flash in a 3 panel comic).

Low forms of humor include

[list]
[*] Puns
[*] Shock humor (i.e. dead-baby skull fucking monkey raping shock humor)
[*] Insults
[/list]

If you can think of any other "low" humor that's not on the list, feel free to make your entry and post what type of low humor you're using. If I agree it's low (and that you used it), I'll consider the entry valid. Bonus points if the shock humor isn't the punchline of the comic. Remember you can only use [u]one[/u] type of low humor per comic.

[size=1]
Standard Fine Print

[list]
[*]Stay away from jokes about other SC strippers and forum in-jokes such as TOBOR, wirthling sucking, Cowboy Physics, etc. They're old, they're tired, and many of them weren't funny to begin with. So even though they're technically allowed by the rules, I will not find them funny. So you will lose.
[*]I hate to say it, but go ahead and post as many entries as you want.
[*]Series are welcome, but the comics will probably be judged individually.
[/list]
[/size]

Judging... I don't know. Thursday or Friday-ish. Go to it!

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"Old" is the old new.

CC 134: Low Humor by kaufman 7-29-02

Hey, Herman, why the long face? I sure miss that Spanish-speaking cow. She was a real cutie! I remember talking to her last week... Hola, vaca bonita. Hola, caballo. Como estas? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuy bien!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Of course when I wrote that, I meant the low humor, not shock humor in particular.

Also part of the challenge is that "low" humor isn't necessarily funny, so you have to make the comic funny while at the same time using this low humor. Thus the bonus points for those who don't use the low humor as the punchline (or main gag, or theme or whatever) of the comic.

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"Old" is the old new.

Wait... can the final panel be funny?

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What others say about boorite!

Yes, dispite kaufman's counter-example, the final panel should be funny. But I'm saying that the overall humor in the cartoon does not need to stem from the low humor -- just that low humor needs to be used somewhere.

Oo... not an auspicious start for CC 134.

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"Old" is the old new.

Psychology by Mr_Jass 7-29-02

My mom hates me, and I don't know why. Let's see if I can help. How did your last conversation go? It went something like this... SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FLAMBOUYANT CLUSTERFUCK, I THINK YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SKANKY ASS AND RAPE SOME GOATSHIT FOR ALL I CARE! You see, that may be part of the problem.

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

Here’s my first (and indeed, second) attempt at entering one of these contests. Enjoy! Oh, and I apologise about spelling humo[u]u[/u]r like that, but I do come from rainy, miserable England, and we spell things differently over here. Pip Pip old bean and all that, you know…

Anywho, the comics...

CC134 – Low Humour Entry 1: Raping the seeds you sow... by Shadow_Artist 7-29-02

Tell me about your day, Freddy. I was abducted by perverted hooligans, who stuffed my ass with peanuts and left me in a room with a starving elephant… …the memory is painfully clear. Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD! OHGODOHGOD! Mmmm, peanuts and ass blood...a pleasing combination… I see…you weren’t actually abducted by perverted hooligans, were you? Hell no! But the rest is true. Oh so delightfully true…

CC134 – Low Humour Entry 2: Smoking Causes Cancer... by Shadow_Artist 7-29-02

Oh my God! That’s…that’s Fag Johnson! I remember him from the High School prom… At a place where the liquor flows free; the High Scool prom… …and I fink yoo are reeeelly cleva…did I menshun intellijence turns me on? Quit talkin’ yo filthy whore and get givin' me the best mothafuckin’ blowjob yo ever given, slut-bitch! Hey, Fag Johnson! You gave me lung cancer and caused my child to be born with no eyes! Bastard! What’d yo expect bitch? You gave head to a mothafuckin’ cigarette!

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

CC 134: Welcome to the Chesapeake Canyon by boorite 7-29-02

This year, in Maryland... Lawn seems a bit dry. Last year... The drought has officials worried. In terms of annual rainfall, we're ten inches behind. I'll give ya ten inches behind! HAW! The year before... * blub *

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What others say about boorite!

CC 134: Never tape ANYTHING by boorite 7-29-02

Daddy, Daddy! I found this old videotape cassette thing and it says "MY ROCK BAND '89!" I'm gonna see what's on it! Oh fuck, Pumpkin, Daddy begs you not to play that shit! IF TUNA FISH AND ICE CREAM JUST DON'T DO THE TRICK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME ROUND HERE AND EAT MY WIGGLY PRICK! Daddy, I.... I... Daddy, a "Flying V?" What'd you think, you were fucking Aerosmith? It was IRONY, Pumpkin, I swear!

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What others say about boorite!

Necromancer's Bane meets The Wonder Years :)

Necromancer's bane Part 35 (Contest Entry) by mutsje2000 7-29-02

"As I stood, watching him read that damn book "Practical Necromancy", I found my mind wandering... ... to a younger me before I had become intertwined with him and his plans to raise the dead. Go to your room! *Sigh* I realised we could be into worse things than raising corpses to fuck them; we could've been into paintball!

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

cc134 - I don't even like this one, and I wrote it by ObiJo 7-29-02

Good, Peter. Now Jessica, you do New York. Albany. Good, Jessica. Now Mikey, you do California. los angeles? No, Sacramento. Did you hear me tell everyone to learn their capitals for today? sorry mrs. peterson.

I don't like this one, and just realized it's non-rules compliant anyways. But I figured if I had to sit through so do you all.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I had to read that one a million times before I understood what it was on about.

but...but... BUT WHY?

But seriously ...

CC 134: Goldberg Variation by kaufman 7-29-02

Eureka! I've figured out how to save the world! All I need to do is roll out of bed and flick on light (A) ... ... which will send cockroach (B) scurrying under wall (C) ...

CC 134: Goldberg Variation (2) by kaufman 7-29-02

But because he's been gorging on crumbs (D), the roach will be too fat, and will undermine the support, causing house (E) to collapse. Cindy the Seismic Squirrel who Thinks She's a Chimp (F) will detect the resulting tremor, causing scientist (G) to reward her. chitter chitter 4.9 chitter! Good girl. Here's a banana for you. Hours later, discarded banana peel (H) will trip up janitor (I)... The oscilloscope needs dusting!

CC 134: Goldberg Variation (3) by kaufman 7-29-02

The blood (J) from where she hit her head will attract land shark (K)... who will be tracked down by fisherman (L)... who will celebrate by drinking seven beers (M1, M2, ..., M7) with friend (N)... Gimme another. Here you go.

CC 134: Goldberg Variation (4) by kaufman 7-29-02

So he goes into bathroom (O) to empty himself. But within the gallons of urine (P) going down the drain ... ...is an undigested shark tooth (Q) that cuts through the plumbing (R) into an uncharted subterranean hydrogen gas chamber (S). The hydrogen vents to the surface, causing all sorts of things (T) to spontaneously combust. Oh, the humanity!

CC 134: Goldberg Variation (5) by kaufman 7-29-02

Thinking that the combustion of the Vice President (U) was caused by Osama bin Laden (V), the President (W) orders that all the earth's hydrogen be put onto a rocket (X) and sent into the sun (Y). Buh-bye! Five billion years later, the sun becomes a red giant, swallowing up all the inner planets in the solar system, including Earth. Artist's conception. Not drawn to scale. Yum! But not now, I'm about to turn on the light, thereby preventing the sun from exhausting its hydrogen supply in five billion years and turning into a planet killer! Oh shit, I didn't pay my electric bill, did I?

Needless to say, the low humor is the banana peel slapstick between panels 6 and 7.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Never the less it was great. Truely the work of a superior Geniu$.

CC 134: This is where the priests get there ideas by dcomposed 7-29-02

I want to have sex with you, Jesus! How old are you?   3   Sorry little girl, your way to old for me. For a 2000 year old man, Jesus sure is choosy!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CC 134: And then Tobor asked Wirtling to give him head... by dcomposed 7-29-02

One day at the ranch... So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha, ha! YEAH! Give it to me Tobor! Fuck! Dad must have taped over my cowboy physics tape with his home movies!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CC 134: The Husband and Wife game by dcomposed 7-29-02

Hey Clango, do you remember that time we played the Husband and Wife Game? I think I'll be the husband! Great! bend over so your wife can cornhole you! what? that's not fair wives don't have cocks! You should have thought of that before you chose husband.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

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Batman created by Bob Kane

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Batman created by Bob Kane

And then Tobor asked wirthling to give him head is one of the most creative damn comics I've ever seen, and The Husband and Wife Game is one of the funniest.

dcomposed is a magbast.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I don't know what a magbast is but I'm sure it's better than being Welsh.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Oh... my....

That was funny dcomposed.

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40 min later I hit save. Explained elsewhere.

This comic has no shift in perspective. I demand that all of dcom's entries be disqualified to upkeep the honor of the Comic Contest.

Actually, I don't give a rat's ass about honor in CC's, I only want him disqualified so I have a chance to win.

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

High School Hijinx by Mr_Jass 7-29-02

So Susie, do you want to go with me tomorrow? A date? You must be kidding, we're just friends! Just friends? Man, after all the times I've sent you flowers, and I've been there when you needed support and... Okay, I'll think about it. The next night Fuck me in the ass!

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com