Javier Vs Kramer by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 8-10-02

KRAMER! You fucking cocklicker. You havent used me in a comic series for nearly 3 months. Ive been busy doing Darius jokes and my new Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor series. Do i look like i give a shit? Honestly? You havent had me fucking a bird or messing with that cunt potter for ages. Im going stale here. Look , ill do it this week. Honest. Its just difficult just now. All my characters are bitching at me that theyre not getting used. I promise ill think of something. And none of that "Decepticons" shite either fuck knuckle. Rats!

Javier Vs Kramer - Pt 2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 8-10-02

And of course , i want to be fucking Britney Spears again. That joke wont work anymore. I need something new and inventive for you to be doing. Well , howabout i fuck Shakira , then Beyonce , then top it off by making Dick Cheney suck his own cock? Hmm , might work. But can i just add in a few thoughts of my own? If it involves an Email Supervisor , or Darius from Popstars , then no. Rats

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Heh. How very true to life.

Okay, you asked for it:

Kramer vs Perm by kramer_vs_kramer 8-12-02

C'mon you bastard, let me in! I've got a bone to pick with you! Perm! What do you want? I've come to complain about the criminal underuse of Javier the Angry Wizard in your strips recently. So you miss all the complex subtexts of a character, conflicted as he is with feelings of bitterness and a sense of rejection from his peers. Actually, I just like all the swearing.

Kramer vs Perm 2 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-12-02

So, you see, I was trying to get away from being stuck as "The Guy who does the Javier Strips" by exploring other avenues of comedy. I appreciate that, Kramer, it's just that none of them were funny. Not funny? How can you say that about such works of comedic genius as "Es-Crow the legal advice Emu" or "Blofeldt and his crush on Bond"? I just find them painfully unfunny. They make me want to smash my monitor then gouge my eyes out with the broken glass. Well... fuck you! Don't make me kick your fucking ass you twat. Fuck you. I'm a fucking master cartoonist. I'll do what the fuck I want. That's more like it!

Kramer's Krisis of Konfidence by kramer_vs_kramer 8-12-02

I don't get it. I try my hardest to keep people amused with a varied selection of comics, but all I get is "We want Javier!" If I could, I'd pander to the mainstream and churn out hundreds of identical strips. But I was under the impression that was what I was doing anyway.

Kramer responds to Writer's Block thusly by kramer_vs_kramer 8-12-02

Look everyone, I've invented a new character! His name is "Miguel the Angry Public Service Announcment Man." Hello kids! Remember to look both ways before crossing the fucking road! Using Miguel like this, I can please the fans of swearing, plus satisfy my need to spread some love around the community. Don't smoke in bed, you cunt! So, Miguel, are you ready to go out there and have lots of wacky adventures? Damn fucking straight, boss! And remember to floss!

But... by kramer_vs_kramer 8-12-02

Boss, have you heard? There's a new swearing character with a hispanic sounding name. He's out to steal your thunder! What the fuck? Am I not fucking good enough for them or something? Fuck them, I don't need this shit. "Kramer says, 'I found writing for Javier increasingly dull. With Miguel I hope to contrast the swearing with him helping kids'" Helping kids? Fiddling kids, more like. So I'm boring, am I? I'll show this Kramer character. I'll kick his arse. But he created you! Surely that would be like picking a fight with a god! Big fucking deal. If the fucking Ghostbusters can do it, I fucking can.

[Click to view comic: 'Gird your loins, folks.']
[Click to view comic: 'Has it come to this?']
[Click to view comic: 'The Adventures of Javier the Flamboyantly Homosexual Warlock']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier the Flamboyantly Homosexual Warlock - Part 2']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier the FLamboyantly Homosexual Warlock - Part 3']
[Click to view comic: 'Javier hates men so much he wears a blindfold in the shower']

Fantastic series. Swearing!

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

Classic series. Great stuff, versus. :)

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Just remember to sit in an ergonomically designed chair and type using proper posture when you make your hilarious comics, lest you develop carpal tunnel syndrome. You motherfucking cum guzzler!

IT LIVES!

A Stunning return to form for the bloke named after an oscar winning movie.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

A thousand "Huzzah"'s for Kramer!

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Dad was flammable

How rude! You cunts.

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Meanwhile... by kramer_vs_kramer 8-13-02

Hey, kid! Don't talk to strangers. They might want to fuck you up the ass! Mommy!

Hahahahahahahaha

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