Well... maybe 10 years after Riverdale High... or not.

Old Friends by Spankling 10-19-02

Candy? Is that you! You look horrible, girl! Maura? Oh... This is embarrassing. I was just going door to door looking for someone... I mean something to eat... But you were so popular in high school! What the hell happened to you over the years. Hey! You wouldn't look so good if you averaged 6.5 money shots in the kisser every day for the last ten years! I suppose. So what do you want? You wanna sit on my face? I'll do it for a sandwich.

Make it to go by Spankling 10-20-02

So what do you want? Ham and Mayo okay? Sure. You want me on my knees or layng on the floor? Remember when you made out with my boyfriend during studyhall back in 1985? This bitch is gonna grind my skull.

If it aint one thing it's another by Spankling 10-20-02

That was... WOW! I don't blame my boyfriend for taking his shot at you back then! I'm glad I had mine! Call it a gift. Can I have that ham sandwich now? Well... actually... I lied. I need to make a grocery run. You are shitting me! I just spent 2 hours on my knees for you! No matter. Just go let my dog Fang hump your face and I'll let you have some of his dry dog food. You should really try to let old grudges go. You know that?

The circle of life by Spankling 10-20-02

*sigh* You're right! I've been wanting to kill you for so long. And here you come in and give me such pleasure and ask for little in return. Yeah. About that. What kind of dogfood are you offering? NO! I can't let you eat that shit! OH! I'm gonna cry! Hey! Come back! Don't lock yourself in the bathroom! Where do you keep the dogfood?!? Fuck, I'm starving! Why did I have to ball what's his name so long ago? Candy! What are you doing in my house? Better yet, if my wife has locked herself in the bathroom, why aren't we in the bedroom?

Exit stage right by Spankling 10-20-02

Wow. He's just as inept as I remembered! But at least he came in my mouth. Protean at last! That made me feel like a kid again, even if you are missing some teeth and smell like my wife's ass. Well there would be a reason for that. Say, do you have any food I can have FAST! I would like to be gone before she unlocks that door. Sure! Grab that bag of Kennel Chow by the back door as you head out. And would you mind hopping a few fences? I'm respectable. Haw! Sacked that bitch twice and my stupid hole wife will never know.

[Click to view comic: 'The End']

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I never read Archie, but these are pretty good.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

^Agrees.