Interesting . . . I liked the first one, but (and I don't mean this in a dickhead kind of way) I wasn't sure why. It made me laugh, but seemed almost like an inside joke.
Keep stripping (also not meant in a dickheaded way :), you have an interesting style.
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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.