Ok, well, I just got 'directed' here from a guy off of ReC..so, tell me what you think of my sweet ass comic strips. Critizism is wanted so I can be better at this 'deal'...so, whaddaya think?

Day at the Office III by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Crack-Me Toys Co. Ya know who you look like? That one weird guy off of the 'Star Wars' movies? What his name..*thinks for a while* *Type-Type-Type* Jar-Jar-Binks? What a loser..I don't watch those stupid movies.. Crack-Me Toys Co. And what's with the top hat? Got a date tonight? No! Let me guess, you're in show business..right? *Type-Type-Type* Go away..don't you have work to do? And I like this top hat..*sob* My grandfather gave it to me before he passed away..don't make fun of it...*sob* Crack-Me Toys Co. *Long Pause* ...riiight...Well, ya know...I- I think I'm gonna be going...Maybe I'll actually try some work for once..instead of running around these offices...well..bye..*walks quickly away* *Evil Smile* Hey, it got him to get off my ass didn't it? God, that guy's annoying...

Day in the Office II by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Crack-Me Toys Co. Larry! Get yer ass to work, you two time, lizard wearin', foul smellin', nasty, scaly, ugly son of a bitch! But why? I do nothing and yet I get paid...I just ask guys about their wives because I have none..so why start now? Crack-Me Toys Co. NOW!!! I'll still pay ya, just stop talkin' to me! I hate yer guts! Now act like you're working!!! Whaaatever...I'm gonna go ask Bill how his wife was last night..You'll call me later tonight, right? Crack-Me Toys Co. *Says real fast* Yea, sure, why not. *Says real fast* Ok.

Day at the Office by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Crack-Me Toys Co. Hey, Stan..how was Mary last night? I told you not to talk to me while I'm drinking my coffee on break. And she was wonderful.. Crack-Me Toys Co. Oh..sorry big guy. So, what do you put in that coffee you got there? Any uh..special medicines? *looks around* What are you? Fuckin' retarded? I put milk, and lots of sugar in this. And what's with you today..I tell ya, man..if you act like a moron all day..I'll steal yer dog and rape yer wife..*Long Pause* Crack-Me Toys Co. So..how was Sheila the other night? Oh my God..What's with this idiot? Here we go again...

These are just a few..if yer lookin' for more, just type in EastwiththeBeasts and find my comic strips..

Sorry for the double post..just gonna post some more if no one liked those..

Don't Judge a Store by it's..front..outside of the store... by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Gabe walks in the Candy Shop..little does he know..it's more than that..if even that.. Hi! I'm not gay, but would you like to try on some clothes? Why did he say he wasn't gay? Did I need to know that? Or was that a clue.. He's scared now and wants to leave.. *Lisp* We have all kIInds of clothes..silk..rough..how I like it! Ooh..I slay myself.. Ah-Actually, I thought this was a candy store..from..um..all the fruity colors outside... Finally, he breaks free from the weird gay bald man and runs home to his mother..this story has no plot nor moral..but you read it.. No, sweetie..this is a fashion shop! Silly goose..now, what would you like ME to help YOU try on, little man? Ya know what? It's gettin' kinda late..I..I'd better get goin'..don't want my mom waitin'..*under breath* fruitcake..

The Shutdown by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Hey, Suzie..I- I was wondering if you wanted to go out Friday..for a soda or something? Um..No! You loser! *Sigh* But..wh-why not? Because last time you were just so...asscrappy! She's right..I am a loser..But atleast I still have my penis..Oh shit..

The Line of Work by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Ya know? And I sit there and tell him..This isn't going to work out in the line of business. We need something reasonable and prompt and I-I just didn't agree with him. *Says in cracking voice* Do I have any pants on? *Belch* N-No, actually, you don't. What happened to them? *Walks away*.................................................................................... *Shrugs* And so I tell him..this isn't going to work out and we need something strict and prompt and something that'll benefit us yet our customers as well. We just didn't see eye to eye..Ya know? Well, maybe you should ask him to dinner tonight. Maybe you two can bury the hatchet ya know? Did you hear about the guy with no pants?

Please tell me what ya think of em'..

I was feeling generous so I read all of them.

Anyway, first off when you do the action thing like *says real fast* or *long pause* that just annoyed me, just try to use punctuation to get that across.

Well, that's kinda hard to do, in my opinion. But, I'll try. Anyway, tell me what you think of these two new comics...

Day at Work VI by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

*Sigh* Another long day at the job...Honey! I'm home! *Says in Rough Voice* Hi, sweetie..did you buy any tampons at the store like I asked you to? Jesus God in Heaven! *breathes heavily* I can't let the guys at work find out about my ugly ass wife or they'll ride my ass for the next twenty years! I'll take that as a no. Well, supper's on the table *fart* *belch* *Praying* God, take my life now! Please..I'll do anything! My wife is butt-ugly, I have a sucky job! And I can't get this ridiculously looking coffe mug out of my hands! Please take my life away..NOW! Are you kidding? I'm actually enjoying this...

This one is Day at Work IV^ and this one is VI, down there, I kinda got the Titles switched around, I made both of em' after yer comment that you made earlier, so they still have the *Long Pause* and stuff so just deal with it for now and I'll stop doin' it. Here's the second..

Untitled by EastwiththeBeasts 12-26-02

Crack-Me Toys Co. So, listen to this, Carl; I was at the mall the other day and I saw this little sweet ass brune- Crack-Me Toys Co. Listen, man; We all know about yer very unfortunately ugly ass bunny wife...I hate to break the news to ya..but we were going to make fun of ya and all..but, damn...She is just TOO ugly! Crack-Me Toys Co. *Ring Ring Ring* = Coffee Break (Lunch Break) Today's beauty in looks are all based off what people see on T.v. and in magazines..sad, sad world we live in..I wonder what's on the PlayBoy Channel in the worker's lounge..

To be honest I just didn't find them funny at all. I think maybe the jokes in your strips are getting lost in all the wordiness and the *verbiage* etc.

in one word? bad...

I didn't see the need for putting the name of the toy company in the narration box for ALL the panels. You only need it in the VERY first panel to set location. Too wordy for the jokes...some jokes can be wordy because of the sophistication of the joke. Not yours I am afraid.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Well..after an hour of reading both of yer comics...I can some both of them up in one word..AssCrap..But, thanks for the critizism, maybe with yer two's advice, I can make my comics better! So, Thanks!

EastwiththeBeasts - I think your reply was a bit harsh. Remember that you did ask for opinions, and that's what they gave. Most of the "negative" comments were constructive in nature - no need to go for the "asscrap" type stuff unless it's meant facetiously. If so, a emoticon of some kind generally helps people get the gist of what your saying. :P

Anyhoo, I did think the comics are a little akward, I agreed that it's superfluous to name the company in every panel, and I find the *descriptions* very distracting.

You can use an elipse for pauses ( . . .)

You know Bob . . . You're fired

I find that connecting sentences with dashes, or stringing the words together is enought to demonstrate rapid speech:

I-gotta-go-now!
or
Igottagonow!

Stuff like that. Anyway, though there are some users here that revel in being mean, most of the regular users use constructive criticism and can be very helpful.

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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

Well, if my other ones sucked ass..then tell me what you think of these..*sigh* I'm just gonna keep makin' em' until you people like em'..so, tell me what's wrong with these, or what's right..

The World as No One Sees It by EastwiththeBeasts 12-27-02

Ya know, Ken; You should get out more often instead of revolutionizing yer entire life around a piece of equipment that some scary lookin' guy with glasses and has lots of money that made that... What are you saying? That I'm a nerd that can't get girls in bed if I paid em' my life long savings? (Yea, that's exactly what I'm saying!) NO! Ken, listen, man..I'm saying that maybe you should get out more instead of letting a machine run yer life instead of playing baseball,or goin' out and runnin Listen, Patrick..You're my best friend n' all, but I don't think that you or anybody else can change my mind about ol' Betsy.. You actually named yer computer? You colored folks wouldn't understand the concept of naming people anyway...Jamal? Pootang? Patrick? Hoochie Mamas and chicken wings? He's right..what IS this world coming to?

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The World as No One Sees It by EastwiththeBeasts 12-27-02

While Walking to School... So, KenMan..You ready for school? I've noticed this is the only time you get out and actually see the real world..Quite a discovery, if I say so myself.. You could say that. Is that all you've got to say for yerself? Stop right there! I've just had an internal memory breakthrough! I've decided to change my life and see better to it than I do myself. Social events such as dances, football, and the occasional pranks Really? What's gotten into you Ken? Well, yer on and off everyday bitching and complaining has gone too far, so I think if I stop now and get out more, that maybe you'll shut yer fat mouth and let me live my life..

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The World as No One Sees It by EastwiththeBeasts 12-27-02

While in Computer Class... Ya know, Ken..Computer class and yer home aren't much different for you, are they? Yea..I guess yer right for onced, they aren't that much different.. That's it! I give up! No matter what I say or do, I will never get you off that damned computer! I'm gonna go hang out with my other friends! Ok. See ya lader, man.. *Patrick* Pssst!...And don't forget to mention the 'After School Handjobs' you give all the guys for their life long savings! ...Right...I'm only doing this because yer older brother is a hottie...

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The World as No One Sees it by EastwiththeBeasts 12-27-02

Back in the Bedroom... Well, I'm finally see that you've come to yer senses and 'logged' off yer last days of computers.. Well, I've found out that this world ISN'T based off high-tech machines and little whores who give hand-jobs.. Really, Ken? What is it about then? It's about hangin' out with my best colored friend in the world...You, Patrick.. And CUT! That'll be awesome for the school play..just do it like that and we'll win this year, totally! Phew..I actually thought I was gonna shed a tear. Oh, sorry you didn't know about this yet, Patrick..I didn't mean a damn word I said..

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Those newer ones were slightly better but you're over-explaining things still. The people reading these comics aren't stupid and will be able to understand without all the text.

For example:

"Well, yer on and off everyday bitching and complaining has gone too far, so I think if I stop now and get out more, that maybe you'll shut yer fat mouth and let me live my life.."

How about something like:

"I just came out to shut you up"

Sometimes less is more.

I get ya..Well, atleast they're gettin' a LITTLE better..I'll make some more and see what ya think about em'..