Cheez-its, my ass! by 86jesuscrumbs1-23-03 Kate's car is a mess of crap. Otherwise known as snack foods. Watch out! You just sat on mumblemumble! Christ! I sat on Jesus crumbs? Why didn't you warn me? ....Yes. Exactly. You sat on Jesus Crumbs. Damn! I've finally achieved my only goal in life--to have Jesus plastered to my ass! ........ Oh yeah. We're going to hell. We're definitely all going to hell in a cracker basket.
My bills really are paid by hicks. by 86jesuscrumbs1-23-03 One day at the Pit. Can I get...uh...barbeque? What kind of barbeque, sir? Uh...I know! A barbeque pork hamburger! A....WHAT? Please, kill me now. I love them things! Sir.....no such thing has ever existed in the history of humanity.
Tastes like burning. by 86jesuscrumbs1-23-03 ......Hey. Hey! Imran busted me out! I noticed. You know, I still expect to get paid--if only for the sheer loss of brain cells you have caused me. Um, sorry. I already had my money taken by the guy with the whuip back in the big house...H-A-Q-Z-U-X-I-P.... You know, if you really had magic powers, you wouldn't be a pile of ash. IMRAN IS A POWERFUL SORCERER! It's his Jew powers!
HEARTLESS COUNTY SCHOOLS! by 86jesuscrumbs1-23-03 Government. Yes. Writing. 1500 words. Coldcoldcoldcold........Comics. "'Hardball' by Chris Matthews is..." ...... "'Hardball' by Chris Matthews is..." Goddamnit, even Paul is farther than I am.
The irony is the Hell part. by 86jesuscrumbs1-24-03 How would you like to be really rich? Um....if I have to. Well, I have a pamphlet here for you that describes how you can become rich and keep it..... ........... ....In Christ! Either I'm wearing a big, not-so-invisble sign that screams "I'm an atheist!" and flashes, or I should be.