All comics by Diogenes

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by Diogenes
12-12-14
So, let me see if I understand........... if our bank makes money, we get to keep it................ and if we lose money, the taxpayer picks up our losses???
Yup! ..... We just helped the Congress write the "Cromnibus" bill. The Senate just approved it. Good times ahead.
We promised them that we'd invest in America's infrastructure
'MURICA
Unless we screw up like we did the last time.

 

by Diogenes
12-12-14
Inside Hollywood
Maybe you should discuss the moral relevance of Django.. tee hee
Ha!.. no... the esthetic sensibilities of 12 Years a Slave....snicker
conversations leaked by Guardians of Peace"
Whoops, we got hacked... they know what we said
ummm... quick, call Sharpton & Jessie, they'll give us some cover
Whitehouse issues press release
On behalf of the American people, I want to clearly communicate that we must work towards tolerance, kindness and brotherhood. And to SONY executives I say.... YO MAMA !!!

 

by Diogenes
12-14-14
'Skins make announcement after today's loss
Did you hear that Peterson is coming to the Redskins?
No, wow that's great!
The news spreads across the league
I guess you didn't hear that Rice was coming too!
Fantastic!
I knew there was a catch
Well, it certainly guarantees that they'll never beat anyone again.
DOH !

 

by Diogenes
12-31-14
Representative Scalise Explains His Job Title
So, what's this I hear about the speech you gave to the KKK or white power people?
Well, actually I didn't know about their ummm... you kno... aaaaahhh. POLICIES...yeah.. POLICIES..
So they were your constituents from the old Louisiana south, right?
Yeah. and i represented them very well in my district
I guess that's what you're supposed to do. So what's your position these days
MAJORITY WHIP !

 

by Diogenes
12-31-14
Two friends grope to understand why they disagree on politics
I wonder if I can get Dennis to listen to analysis of data and facts
So it's obvious that he's listening to the wrong sources for his information
He was a good analyst, how come he keeps going off the deep end?
His analysis is good, but his data is selective and sources are questionable.
Maybe he feels too much!
Maybe he thinks too much!

 

by Diogenes
1-05-15
Stop & Frisk: ~6% of each race equally likely to be holding contraband
But officer, I wasn't doing anything. I'm going to work.
Yeah, I know. but we have this stop & frisk thing i gotta do !
Over 1.3M blacks & hispanics stopped while 150 K whites stopped. 2% of all stops result in summons or arrest. NYC is about 25% Black & Hispanic
You citizens gotta understand that I gotta do this. Show some respect for the law whydoncha? where did'ya get them pearls?
ahhh, don't start no 5#1T they a'int real.... an' this a'int no Gucci belt neither
Kinda like stopping every priest to catch a pedophile
come'on fadda, I need just one more to make my quota for the day... Pleeezzzeee?
Bless you my son. But #6(k off!

 

by Diogenes
1-06-15
GOP assesses their original strategy
So Mitch, we've done nothing for 6 years trying to make Obama fail
Yeah, that didn't work out so well
After several GOP strategy sessions, Mitch sets a new direction
So now you want us not to be so scary, so we don't frighten the public for the 2016 election cycle
Yeah, i think that's the best GOP strategy for the next 2 yrs
Washington D.C. welcomes the new GOP majority back to work today
So isn't it time for us to ditch these scary costumes?
Costumes?

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