All comics by JESUS_CHRIST

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
BILL AND CHARLIE HAVE BEEN QUIETLY IGNORING EACH OTHER FOR HOURS...WHEN BILL DESIDES TO BREAK THE ICE
YOUR EYES ARE SO FUCKING BIG
YOUR EYES ARE SO FUCKING BIG TOO
...TWO HOURS LATER
YOU'RE WEARING A BLUE SHIRT, DUDE
AND YOU'RE WEARING A RED SHIRT...I STARTED TO WEAR A RED SHIRT TODAY, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.
...SIX HOURS LATER
YOU HAVE FROSTED HAIR...AND A GOATEE
SHIT, I FUCKING HATE FORCED CONVERSATIONS

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
KID & GEEZER IN HOLDING CELL #B
COME OVER HERE LITTLE MAN...AND I'LL LET YOU LICK MY ARM PITS
I'M RUNNING A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE ON SUCKING MY CRUSTY OL' GEEZER PITS..."HE HE HE"
THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY YOUR LIFE SUCKS A BAD AS MINE
I CAIN'T FIGURE IT OUT....I USED TO BE THE "BELLE OF THE BALL" IN ALCATRAZ

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
A YOUNG WOMAN IS BEING HELD FOR SUSPICION OF SHOPLIFTING
I WONDER WHY THIS "ASS-UGLY" GREEN HAIRED BITCH AIN'T TRIED TO RAPE ME YET?
FOUR HOURS LATER, SHE LEARNS....
THE CUTE YOUNG "FRESH MEAT" IS ALWAYS GETTING RAPED IN ALL OF THOSE "WOMEN IN PRISON" VIDEOS
...HER CELLMATE IS A "MIND READER"
WHY HASN'T THIS "SKANKY OL' DISEASE INFESTED WHORE" TRIED TO RAPE ME YET?
FOR STARTERS, YOU AIN'T THAT "CUTE"...AND YOUR "MEAT" DON'T SMELL ALL THAT "FRESH" FROM WHERE I'M STANDING "

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
FLIRT & SQUIRT
HEY GOOD LOOKIN'
"please don't let him be talkin' to me...please don't let him be talking to me..."
YOU TALKIN' TO ME, MISTER?
I WANNA SHOVE MY THROBBING COCK SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU BEG FOR YOUR OWN DEATH
OH, DEAR!

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
A GUY'S GOTTA HAVE SOME STANDARDS...
I THINK YOU'RE CUTE....WANNA FUCK?
i wouldn't fuck your ugly little ass if you were the last girl on earth!
MOMENTS LATER...
ON SECOND THOUGHT...
"DOGGIE STYLE" OR "MISSIONARY"?

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
CRAZY CARL gets a handsome new cellmate
"tee hee hee...you are one handsome hunk of cummy yummy love"
FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE!
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
i bet your dick's as big as a "baby's arm"
I'M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST GODDAMNED TIME, "FUCK OFF"
TEN MINUTES LATER...
ok...ok...i'll leave you alone....did i mention that i have a gram of "coke", smuggled in a balloon, crammed up my ass?
"IF YOU SHARE IT WITH ME...I'LL LET YOU SUCK ON MY FINGER FOR A HALF-HOUR"

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-05-01
"FATHER'S DAY"
Are you a boy or a girl?...Only girl's are supposed to be held in cell block # c
I'm a girl...my daddy makes me dress like "a boy" because he always wanted "a son"
You and me, have a lot in common...my daddy makes me dress like "a slut" because he always wanted to "FUCK ME"
For the love of mercy...Someone please "SHOOT ME"

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-06-01
IN THE AFTERMATH OF A VICIOUS "LOVER'S QUARREL"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO THIS...THERE'S NOTHING MUCH LEFT TO SAY...I GUESS"
"I guess not"
"I LOVED YOU, GODDAMNIT!...I HAVE GIVEN YOU FOUR OF THE GREATEST YEARS OF MY LIFE...AND FOR WHAT?"
"You should have thought of that while you were givin' the new guy a blowjob"
to be continued...
"THAT NEW GUY DON'T MEAN SHIT TO ME...YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I HAVE EVER LOVED"
"I hear your words...but they sound hollow...and untrue"

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-06-01
OUR STORY CONTINUES...
"JUST TELL ME WHAT I GOTTA DO TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT BETWEEN US...I'LL DO ANYHING TO MAKE YOU LOVE ME AGAIN"
"I'll think about it...but i can't promise you anything"
I'M GONNA GO "TAKE A SHIT"...LET ME KNOW YOUR DECISION WHEN I GET BACK
"OK...but don't forget to wipe your ass when you're done crapping"
DOES THAT "REMEMBER TO WIPE YOUR ASS" STATEMENT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?
Yes, Earl...all is forgiven...but you know how i hate walking around with "SHIT BREATH" all day

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-08-01
"GABBA GABBA HEY"
"SHEENA IS...A PUNK ROCKER, SHEENA IS...A PUNK ROCKER, SHEENA IS...A PUNK ROCKER...NOW!"
"BEAT ON THE BRAT...BEAT ON THE BRAT...BEAT ON THE BRAT WITH A BASEBALL BAT..."
"TWENTY...TWENTY...TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TO GO...I WANNA BE SEDATED. NOTHIN' TO DO, NO WAY TO GO HOME...I WANNA BE SEDATED"...GOD, I FUCKIN' LOVE THE RAMONES

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-08-01
"LITTLE JIMMY IS FACED WITH A COMPLICATED MORAL DILEMMA"
"SHOULD I DIG UP GRANDMA'S MAGGOT RIDDLED CORPSE... AND FUCK HER IN HER ROTTING EYE SOCKETS?"
"OR... SHOULD I POKE MY LITTLE DICK...DEEP INTO HER FESTERING, PUTRID ASSHOLE?"
"CANNIBAL CORPSE" RULES!

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-08-01
FRED?
YES, MIKE...WHAT DO YOU WANT?
GOT ANY GUM?

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-08-01
"HEY FRED...REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME WHEN YOU AND ME WERE LITTLE...AND MOM WHIPPED YOUR ASS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BROKE HER FAVORITE FLOWER VASE?"
"YEAH MIKE...I REMEMBER...MOM DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TOLD HER THAT I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW IT GOT BROKEN"
"GUESS WHAT?"

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-09-01

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
11-10-01
"MAN...IT REALLY SUCKS BEING A SKELETON"
"YOU AIN'T TELLIN' ME SHIT, THAT I DON'T ALREADY KNOW"
"I GET SO FUCKIN' HORNY SOMETIMES...BUT WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO?...MY DICK ROTTED OFF, AGES AGO"
"YEAH...AND I GET SO GODDAMNED HUNGRY AT TIMES...I COULD REALLY GO FOR A CHEESE-BURGER AND A CHOCOLATE SHAKE, RIGHT NOW"
THREE HOUR LATER...
"MAN...IT REALLY SUCKS BEING A SKELETON"
"YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN"

 

by JESUS_CHRIST
1-04-02
ANGEL, DEAR...?
Yes, my darling J.C.
WHY DO YOU WASTE YOUR TIME...LOVING A GUY LIKE ME? WE CAN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING TOGETHER...I CAN'T EVEN HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS, BECAUSE I'M STUCK UP HERE...NAILED TO A GODDAMNED CROSS!!!!!
I Do It...'Cause I Luvs Yaz, Silly Goose!
I.L.Y.W.A.O.M.H.
:)..............TOYA...............:)

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