All comics by SubatomicBrainfreeze

 

Man! I wish I could be doing the cool new thing all the guys are doing!
I think I can make you a pretty cool dude, son.
Shit! He knows what I'm thinking! I hope all the guys aren't off being cool by being molested by poorly-dressed strangers!
God da-- I mean, yes, youngun, I am a PSYCHIC COWBOY. I right wrongs with my mind powers! Now let's go to a secluded area where this fantastic thing is bound to be!
Half an hour and a blindfold later.....
Alright, I gave you a chance, mister, and you're not delivering! Plus I'm scared of anal rape at an age when I really really shouldn't be!
God damn it-- Er, I'm sorry I held out on you, lad. Let's go down to 7-11, where this fantastic thing really is!

 

Well it reminds ME of 7-11.....
Alright, man, I've waited long enough, now MAKE ME TRENDY!
(sigh) guess I'll just give up on the whole molestation angle and do as he says. It was a limited joke anyay.
?
Unbeknownst to young Timmy, sifting through those ashes would bring him to the greatest snack food in history!
Um, I guess it's good that I probably won't be raped, but..... Oh hell, I'll keep myself busy with this.

 

The next day...
Hey, cool guy, how can I do the cool thing you're doing?!
Oh, that's easy.
Just check this awesome new snack food! It's a stick of butter that's been dipped in chocolate and put on a stick!
Whoa doctor! That's soooo trendy!
And the phenomenon spread across the land......
And what can I get you, Jim?
Butter. Butter dipped in chocolate. On a STICK.

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