All comics by The_Artist_Formerly

Profile

 

Hello, I am the narrator.
I'm bored, there is nothing to do.
Did you forget that today is national "robot/human sex day?"
I narrate from up here.
Hooray!
Haha, that was funny. This comic strip rules.
Hey sexy!
Oh no....

 

HaHa!
!aHaH
Hooray!
!yarooH
Cartoon mirrors are even more fun than the real thing.
That kicks ass!
!ssa skcik tahT

 

One lonely night...
I have wanted your body for years maura, you are so sexy. Will you let me make sweet, passionate love to you tonight?
No thanks pete, your ugly and I have a very large collection of sex toys. Here, I will show you my prize man-shaped vibrator.
Wow....
Bzzzzzzzzz......
That's nothing though, wait 'till you see this!

 

Pete evaluates the situation
...
Bzzzzz.....
...
Reality Strikes
I am SO not ever getting laid.

 

Calista Flockhart reads her diary
Dear Diary: Today I indulged and licked five postage stamps for lunch. If I keep doing this, I will become a fat,bloated whale.
She Continues...
Sometimes I feel like trash to be thrown out with the garbage.
But then I realize that I have enough money to buy any figure I want, so I eat cheesecake. Then I throw it right back up. Have to watch my figure, you know.

 

New Maura action figure: Now with ultra pose action!
Hey Pete.
Hey maura.
What's wrong with your face?
I just got new poses and expressions!
The Rock says: "The Rock doesn't need any new poses. The Rock says none of your jabroni poses can compete with the peoples eyebrow!"
Whatever. You look more like "The Spock" than "The Rock"

 

Sticky notices something during his big date
*sniff sniff* I think I need some deodorant
PEU!! That is just plain rancid! Im outta here.
He then seeks help from a friend
You could just sit in a trash can. Then you would not notice the smell.
Ok. I'll try anything once.
That night...
Hey sexy...
Hmmmmm................ last man on earth... putrid smell........ last man on earth... putrid smell........ Well, I wonder where that redhead chick I saw went.

 

Are you pondering what I am pondering, pinky?
I think so Brain...
Ummm..........
Are you pondering constant sexual refrences, exessive cussing, and massive overuse of Jesus clip art?
..... Im thinking *no*
Poit!

 

The Artist explains why he looks like a Pink Donkey...
Hello, I am "The Artist Formerly Known as a Purple Dancing Monkey." By now, some of you might be wondering why a Purple Dancing Monkey looks like a Pink Stationary Donkey.
...and is floating through space/time
You see, this is where the "Formerly" part comes in.
Little tip kids: women are moody and quick to anger. Especially when they have magical powers beyond your imagination.

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