All comics by brycekain

Profile

 

by brycekain
2-07-10
Holy crapballs! I left for 6 years and StripCreator.com STILL EXISTS!?
What did you look like before?
Ah, you were AtheistDiary. What do you look like now?
The fuck happened? You get raped by an autistic MIME?

 

by brycekain
2-14-10
PILLAGE THE WOMEN! RAPE THE HORSES! AND RIDE OFF ON THE HOUSES!
I distinctly remember being funnier than this.
Try coming up with a joke that hasn't been beaten to death like a pregnant mule.
Like what? Dead fetus jokes?
Fuck you're useless. I gotta go knock up some soccer moms at a Starbucks.

 

I'm gunna write you a ticket. You're lucky I don't drag you out and beat you with my baton!
That'll do, Pig!
by brycekain, 2-14-10

 

by brycekain
2-15-10
OBAMA IS LIKE HITLER!!!!!
So Obama is a dictator who is going to commit mass genocide of an entire race of people?
He's going to slam the American people with nothing but DEATH PANELS!!!!!
So you're a whiney-assed racist Republican and you can't stand the fact that you lost to a well-spoken, highly intelligent black man?
DAVID DUKE & SARAH PALIN 2012!!!!!!!!!
I hope to Reagan you're right! This is Geraldo Rivera for Fox News. Back to you Hannity!

 

by brycekain
2-17-10
Actual quotes from a Joe Francis interview
Joe Francis, you were charged with filming underage girls for sexual profit, tax evasion, and a trying to bribe a jail guard with $500 for a bottle of water. Do you care to comment?
"They would shackle me in the shower ... make me walk naked around. I was fantasizing about Abu Ghraib stories. That would have been an improvement on what they did to me. "
Um... ok, but what about the charges of filming underage women? You say that you didn't do anything wrong, but because you're the owner of the company you --
"How about this? There's even more separation than that. It is an independently contracted cameraman that we purchased footage from ... These girls showed a fake I.D. They lied about their age."
So instead of taking personal responsibility for running a shoddy, exploitive company you're going to make this all about you, right?
"...and one time I was chained up, and I was down there like Hannibal Lector ... and I was crying..."

 

by brycekain
2-17-10
Hey, Dad. It's been 6 years since you passed away.
We all miss you here. I hope everything is ok for you in the afterlife.
Me? I'm doing ok. I've been working as a manager at....
Dammit, would you shut the fuck up! I'm tryin' to bang Marilyn Monroe down here!

 

by brycekain
2-18-10
"So how’s that hopey, changey stuff working out for ya?"
HAHA! She's using people's pain and suffering to get votes.

 

by brycekain
2-18-10
Interviewing for a job
So let me get this straight. You worked as a manager at a college radio station...
You traveled daily to a non-paying job without compensation, got threatened at least once a semester by people you fired, and you got nothing but school credit for all of it?
So what was the upside?
I got to make fart sounds on the air.

 

by brycekain
2-19-10
Here comes Tiger Woods now. Looks like he is ready to give his speech. Lets listen in.
FINALLY! And he'd better have a detailed apology at this press conference!!
...ten minutes later...
"...and there is one issue I really want to discuss. Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt ... me on Thanksgiving night. It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that..."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz...

 

by brycekain
2-19-10
What he said.
I am truly sorry for what I did.
What we felt.
Oh, Tiger!
We forgive you!!
What he should have said.
Alright LISTEN UP, BITCHES! I TAPPED DAT' AZZ, I WANTED TO TAP DAT AZZ, and I ain't owe you muthafuckaz a GAWD DAMN THANG!

 

by brycekain
2-19-10
I think Tiger had a very real human moment today. He made mistakes and he apologized for them. I think the media needs to leave him alone now.
Jane Ve-LEZ Mitchell said something NICE about a male?
Ah shit. This can only mean one thing!
Yup. Texas has frozen over.

 

by brycekain
2-20-10
Tobor turn hippy??

 

by brycekain
2-20-10
What the buck?!?

 

by brycekain
2-20-10
WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE I'M SOME PIECE OF MEAT?!?

 

by brycekain
2-20-10
AHA! It is I, JESUS!

 

by brycekain
2-20-10
So... cum here often?

 

by brycekain
2-21-10
YOU'RE my BABYSITTER??
Yeah, so what?
But you look so...
Listen, you little turd. I only swallow before Midnight, so get your ass upstairs.
I think I love you.
Yeah yeah. Satan works in mysterious ways. I'll go get the Kool Whip and the speculum.

 

by brycekain
2-21-10
YOU'RE my BABYSITTER??
Yeah, so what?
But you look so...
Listen, you little turd. I only swallow before Midnight, so get your ass upstairs.
AHA! It is I, Chris Hansen!
Yeah yeah. Satan works in mysterious ways. I'll go get the Kool Whip and the speculum.

 

by brycekain
2-21-10
God I hope my fart wasn't THAT bad!

 

by brycekain
2-21-10
Jesus, I used to be funny when I was AtheistDiary. What happened?
You went through anger management three times, sobered up, and now you aren't as volatile.
So what you're saying is in order for me to become funny again I need to get shit faced and beat up some retarded hookers?
Exactly.
You've changed, man.
I'VE BEEN NAILED TO PLYWOOD FOR 2,000 YEARS! WHAT THE FUCK YOU EXPECT ME TO DO; SHIT DAISIES AND SING KUMBAYA??

 

by brycekain
2-21-10
Lisa, will you go out with me...?
Sure!
Just lose 500 lbs and get a facelift, loser!
And they wonder why I'm such a dick...

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
Father, why have you forsaken me??
TOBOR CORNHOLE EVERYONE IN SIGHT!!
Christ, why am I horny?!
Pork off, felcher boy.

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
SOCIALIST!!!!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
J'ai eu des rapports sexuels avec la verrue sur la queue de votre mère. Le pus a fait la bonne lubrification pour mon pénis !
Uh...he said he would like to have a nice dinner with your mother.
That's not what I said, asshole.
Because what you said is so disgust -- ok, fine. What I meant to say is...
Fuck it. Look it up on Babblefish.

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
Candygram from Ron Jeremy.
Too small!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!
Pushy cunt.

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
I can't believe I just did that.
It isn't a sin if we did it missionary.
But in the confessional booth??
uh...I was in the rectory...
Yes, you were, baby. And it felt so--
DAMN YOU, REVEREND BOINKY!!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
Confess your sins, my son.
*hic* Ok, like I was doin' this whore, right? *hic* and she went poopoo on my nasal cavity and *hic* and she got the family dog*hic* I found out it was my sister's grandmother and *hic*
...uh uh...
Are you there, Reverend?
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT, PRAISE JESUS!!!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
BLAH! I VANT TO SUCK--
Too late.
Dyke.

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
BLAH! I VANT TO SUCK--
mmmm....sounds good. Let me turn around and give you something to really suck, you sexy piece of undead man-meat!
Uh...sorry! Drakulah voted YES on Prop_8!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
Why the fuck do I keep getting dracula when I hit Random Comic Layout?
We need the work.
I'm just here for the dirty sanchez.

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
Try all our
Hostess products!
Ding Dongs!
Ho Hos!
Suzie Qs!
Sno Balls!
Fruit Pies!
FUCK! Now I'm horny!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
And in other news...A major earthquake struck southern Haiti on Tuesday. Several eyewitnesses reported heavy damage in the streets.
More than 200,000 bodies have been picked up in the streets... sources say that the death toll could tragically arrive at 300,000. We will continue to hope and pray for the families of the deceased.
*GASP!* I can't take much more of...
Who said you could stop, bitch? BACK UNDER THE TABLE!!

 

by brycekain
2-22-10
No one believes you are AtheistDiary! Prepare to die!
Wait! I can prove it to you!
AtheistDiary was a narcissistic fuckstick that constantly made up strips about his anal fetish just so he could get attention from newbie crack whores!
AHA! IT IS I, JESUS!
Not to mention beat a good joke to fuckin' death.

 

by brycekain
2-23-10
Suicide Hotline, may I help you?
I just don't feel like life is worth living!
Lemme guess. You're a teenager, listen to Marilyn Manson, get picked on at school, and you hate it when your mom drops you off at the mall in the mini van. Yes?
How...how did you know?
Yeah, buy a gun or suck it up, fuckstick. It don't get much better than this.
*DING!*

 

by brycekain
2-23-10
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/4419/1688861
I'm fucking scarred for life.

 

by brycekain
2-24-10
AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!
And that's how you were born. Kinky, huh?
I'll be in the crapper vomiting for the next 8 months. Thanks!

 

by brycekain
2-24-10
The DNA showed the perp was in the building and--
Yes... but_after_all_this... I_feel_like ... taking_my... sunglasses... off...
DNA MAKE HUNGRY FOR BRAINS!!!
RUUUNNN, RABBIT!! RUUUUUUN, RABBIT, RUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *SPLATTER* *VAGINA SHOT* *OBSCURE CELEB* *GURGLE* *BLOODY BUTT CRACK*
THAT'S A WRAP!!!!

 

by brycekain
3-01-10
Back and to the left...
Back and to the left...
Back ... and to the left...
Back ...... and to the left...
JUST HIT MY G-SPOT ALREADY, YOU CUNT!
...Back and to the left...

 

by brycekain
3-01-10
HAPPY BIRT-DAY!!!
Uh...thank you, what did I win?
FREE ABOR-CHUN!!
ABORTION?? But I can't --
An' dat, Mr. Lawyerman, iz ven I realize old lady iz really old man!
Who the fuck are you?

 

by brycekain
3-02-10
I think I'll take a break. I have to tinkle...
WAIT SARAH DON'T!!!
What the?? You look just like me! Who are you?
I'm you from the future. I went back in time to warn you about something very important.
Wangs?
DONGS!

 

by brycekain
3-02-10
I think I'll take a break. I have to tinkle...
WAIT SARAH DON'T!!!
What the?? You look just like me! Who are you?
I'm you from the future. I went back in time to warn you about something very important.
5 hours (and 1 dildo) later
I ... can't ... believe...
Today's lesson: never trust a stem-cell clone with a donkey punch fetish.

 

by brycekain
3-03-10
WHAT?!?!?
HOLY FUCK YOU GOT BIG KNOCKERS!!!

 

by brycekain
3-03-10
Good morning, my son. Have you thought about giving your soul to Jesus?
*SLAM!*
Good afternoon. Would you like to pray for--
*SLAM!*
WORSHIP ME OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah...the one TRUE religion!

 

by brycekain
3-03-10
♫   FEEELINGS..!!   ♫

 

by brycekain
3-05-10
*RUFF!*
What's that, girl? Timmy's stuck in a well?
*GRRRRRRRR* *RUFF!!*
Timmy had a bunion stuck inside his pickle hole??
Ruff?
FUCK I took too much acid!

 

by brycekain
3-07-10
Hey, baby! You lookin' for a date?
Am I ever? Hop on in!
aHA! Caught you, scum bag! You're lookin' at some HARD TIME for this one!
uh....can we maybe work something out, officer?
...and that's when he showed me how to massage the prostate with a tazer!!
*vomit*

 

by brycekain
3-10-10
Actor Corey Haim dead at 38.
Oh my...
Haim, 38, was pronounced dead after 3 a.m. Details of his death were not immediately available. Haim was a teen star in the 1980s in such movies as "The Lost Boys" and "License to Drive."
May he rest in peace where ever he is...
Meanwhile in Hell...
Wait, wait! But I did so much to help bring happiness to millions of people!
Yeah, did you actually SEE License to Drive? You're lucky I don't have you sodomized by Long Dong Silver!

 

by brycekain
3-10-10
Brittany Murphy
But I did a lot of roles that made people think! Plus I helped support Ovarian Cancer research and many other charity causes!
Sorry, once you get Eminemed and Kutchered, it's practially a one way ticket.
Billy Mays
HI! BILLY MAYS HERE FOR... WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?
Yeah, I bought that Oxiclean shit. You have no excuse, dickhole.
Michael Jackson
HEE HEE!
Oh, like you didn't see this one coming...

 

by brycekain
3-13-10
Congratulations, Mr. Pig! You have a litter of beautiful baby bunnies!
thuh thee thee thuh - THAT CHEATING WHORE!!
Well, it's too late for an abortion...
s ss suh ss suh suh - so what do I do?
Why not try Cambell's new Hossenfeffer Surprise!?
Can I get that with a side of cheating vagina bacon?

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