All comics by Etch

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by Etch
6-01-01
32nd street, New York City, 3:31 PM
Hmmm. Is it worth it? Do I really want this? I mean I am desperate.
*Cough* *Hack* *Cough* Hey there little man! Hows about a good time with me. Good old Granny hooker will give you love good.
32nd street, New York City, 3:33 PM
Yeah sure. Why not. All I have to do is put on this condom and theres no way I will touched your diseased ass.
Oh yeah baby. Now you are talkin!. 50 dollars for the full cource of Granny Hooker! Come and get it little man!
34th street. Granny hookers apartment. 4:32 PM... He touched her and look what happened.
I cant believe what I did! Its disgusting! Oh my god! I cant live anymore! Ah Im gonna end it!
Whats wrong human! Wasnt everything you expected! Haha! Its your fault! now Im going to eat your brain! Hahahaha Human!

 

by Etch
6-01-01
Ah. Love at first kilobyte.
Hey there baby. how much ram can you take baby? Lets download..
*Beep* *Beep* *Boop* *Beep* *Boop*
Ohh. She hurt his processor. At first, it was beating as fast as it could process! But the little smart ass Macintosh just laughed.
Well I got plenty of bandwidth. Bigger than you can handle you sweet thing. Here. Ill show you whats under my metal plate.
Beep! Beep! Boop! Hahaha! Thats a pathetic little thing you got there! hahaha! You are one pathetic little bot.
Never ever piss off a super strong robot that has emotional problems...
BZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZ MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION. DESTROY ALL. BZZZ.
Ahhhh! Im sorry! I didnt mean it! I meant to say it was the right size for me! No!!! AHHHHA!........................... *Boop* *FIZZZZLLLLEEEE*

 

by Etch
6-02-01
What really happened 2000 years ago...
Oh my! Jebus! Why are you like that??!!
Its your fault.
Oh shit.
Why? I did not do anything wrong! I love god! He is my savior! Im in love with god!
You gotta repent. Please insert this aol disk into the computer over there. Why? Because God Loves AOL and if you love AOL, GOd will love you! Be saved!
His true purpose.
Ok jesus, I signed up with a non negotiable deal with aol for life. Now what do you want... Hey! Who are you! You arent jesus! You liar!
KEKEKEKE! YOU ARE OF BEING FOOLED! I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR MONEY NOW! YOU WANT TO PLAY STARCRAFT? LELELELELE!

 

by Etch
6-03-01
His first post... This could only get worse.
Hey! This SG place is cool! Whats this? Fear and hate? I do not understand. Maybe I should tell this bio crimson that it is wrong to inspire fear and hate.
Hello Squaregamer. I am teknaflowne. I would just like to say that Squaregamer is a very nice looking place, but I do not like this Biocrimson and his Fear and hate practice. It is wrong.
Tenka dug himelf a focking deep hole this time...
Well let me see what bio crimson had to say... Oh my. This is terrible, I am hurt. There is only one thing to do in this situation...
BioCrimson:: You are fucking moron Tekna. You are so damn stupid. I will inspire fear and hate whenever a dumb shit like you needs a dose of fear and hate. God damn focking lamer. .
A happy ending?
This is the way it must be!
Tenkaflowne: Dear SG. By the time you read this, I will be dead. I will have commited suicide this time.. for real... Most of SG: Who cares dammit! Maybe you will have some balls this time!

 

by Etch
6-03-01
This just started off bad...
Hi. Im trying to make money for my baseball team by selling candybars....and uh.......oh god. Such nice boobs........oh god.... oh man!
Hmmm. I dunno. Lemme think about it for a second ok?
Poor guy...
Oh God! I cant hold it anymore! Im im... AHHHHHHHH!
***What the fock is his problem?
Goin off like that is a bad thing...
Oh god. I feel so embarrassed. I Gotta go now! Um errr uhhh bye!
What the hell was up with that guy. I was going to buy his candy. Well whatever....

 

by Etch
6-04-01
Cant you tell hes from Alabama? Poor Donkey.
H'yuk H'yuk. Come here darlin. Its time for us to get to know each other again. H'yuk H'yuk
No. Not again. He already got me last night. THis is just wrong. Oh god I feel so violated. I dont wanna be violated again. :(
Will god be able to save this poor donkey that is gonna get raped by the Alabamian? Only time will tell.
H'yuk H'yuk You caint get away from me h'yuk. Im gonna get you. H'yuk. Now get yer ass on thuh ground.
Hes right. I cant get away. THe door is closed. Please help me god. NoooO!
*5 minutes Later* I guess god didnt hear him well enough...
YEEEEEHAWWWWW! YEEEEHAWWWWW!!! YEEEHAAWWWW!!! OH YEAH! I LUV YOU!
So wrong. Help me... Get this guy off of me... please. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! PLEASE HELP ME! Wahhhhhh!!!

 

by Etch
6-04-01
Too bad he wasnt smart.
Hey! These squaresource forums look great! I should post a thread there saying Hi and that Im new!
--Hey everybody! Im new here! I just wanted to say hi and that im new! Yes I am! -- -- Nobody CARES. Stop your idiocy now or you will feel the flame.--
Oh no...
Oh my! These are mean things these people said about me. I just said I was new. Its not my fault I made posts saying that over and over again.
Hey! Why am I on fire? My dumbass owner is the one that was acting like a retard. Not I. I am gonna fix this little mix up right now.
He got what he deserved...
AHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN! IM SORRY FOR BEING AN IDIOT AND MAKING 3 STUPID THREADS!! IM SORRY!!!
Hahahahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BURN YOU DUMBASS YOU! HAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Etch
6-04-01
Thats one joke you never EVER want to hear about how it got started...
Hey I have a joke for you. A sheep, a chicken and a farmer walk into a shed and the farmer locks the door...
H'yuk H'yuk I already know this one. They made that joke because of me.
This is indeed an odd situation.
Hey man. Did you ever hear the about the robot that did weird things to animals?
THOSE ARE FALSE ALLIGATIONS! I WAS JUST EXPIEREMENTING!!
He is a sad clown. ;(
Hey did you every hear about the clown that pissed his pants all the time?
Uh what piss? I dont see any on me? I didnt pee my pants... yet... I mean you are lying!

 

by Etch
6-09-01
Ally Mcbeal
Eddy Murphy
Madonna
John Travolta after Battlefield Earth. (They really hated that movie.)
Macauly Culkin on anti growth medicine.
Rosie O'donnel raiding the cookie store.

 

by Etch
6-09-01
Quickening
Lich
Tihocan
Reena
Etchran
Starry Eyed Squall

 

by Etch
6-09-01
Tihocan
Lich
Lich
Quickening
Starry Eyed Squall
Etchran

 

by Etch
6-09-01
Age 10
AHAHAHAHAHA! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!
No!
Age 16
YOU GAVE ME HERPES! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! AHAHAHAHAHA DIE DIE DIEDIEDIE!
ACK!
Age 18
AHAHAHAHA! I POOPIED MY DIAPER! IM GOING TO KILL YOU AND TAKE YOUR DIAPERS! AHAHAHAHAHA! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!
WOOF WOOF WOOF YIPE!

 

by Etch
6-10-01
Starry Eyed Squall
Quickening
Lich
Tihocan
Moogalitius
Etchran

 

by Etch
6-10-01
Haha. I bored you! hahaha!

 

by Etch
6-10-01
AHAHAHA! IM GONNA KILL YOU!
Oh jesus. Not this shit again.
...
...
Hey. How come Im not getting any closer to you?
Because you are in a comic dumbass.

 

by Etch
6-13-01
Eating Spines
Tihocan
Quikining
Starry Eyed Squall
Etchran
Hobo The homless guy that lives under the bridge

 

by Etch
6-13-01
Eating Spines
Tihocan
Starry Eyed Squall
Quickening
Etchran
DINNER!

 

by Etch
6-13-01
Tihocan the goat lover
Eating Spines the Antagonist. (Always thinks hes right so we play along.)
Quikining the thinker (Always wonders why hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hotdog buns come in packages of eight.)
Starry eyed Squall always looking down. (He is trying to hide his shame cause he is such a negative clown.)
Etchran The show off. He is a ghost yet trys to act cool even though people cant see him because he is a ghost. Poor bastard.
Al Gore...

 

by Etch
6-13-01
You have a question my child?
Well yes Jesus. I was wondering if it mattered what kind of Christianity I practiced to get into heaven.
Well what type of christianity do you practice?
Well actually I have 3. Mormonism, Catholicism, and Methodist.
Oh shit! Those three? Well you're screwed. See ya.
I knew I should have gone with Heavens Gate. That spaceship sounded cool.

 

by Etch
6-13-01
You have a question my child?
Well yes Jesus. I was wondering if it mattered what kind of Christianity I practiced to get into heaven.
Well what type of christianity do you practice?
Well actually I have 3. Mormonism, Catholicism, and Methodist.
Oh shit! Those three? Well you're screwed. See ya.
I knew I should have gone with Heavens Gate. That spaceship sounded cool.

 

by Etch
6-14-01
Can you guess what this is? Huh
Really? Well its pretty obvious.
Give up? Ok. Its a line of hookers lining up infront of a Free clinic to get tested for S.T.D. 's and getting admitted to a drug rehab center after that.

 

by Etch
6-14-01
Hes pretty sure hes immortal...
Look! I will show to you and prove that I am immortal! Hahaha! I got the perfect thing!
Hmm. Now what to do to prove to people Im immortal...
Whoah! Hes really going through with this!
Hmmmm. Yeah thats it! A nail in the head! That will prove my immortalness!
Well so far so good. This isnt hard! I am immortal! See!
Uh oh... Guess he was wrong!
!!!HAHAHAHA! I AM IMMORTAL! I TOLD YOU! HAHAHA! IM LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD! Whoah. wait a sec. Im feeling really dizzy... Oh no! Everything's Going black! OH god noooOO!!
COULDNT AFFORD A COFFIN THIS IS THE BEST HE COULD DO.

 

by Etch
6-15-01
Tihocan
Starry Eyed squall
Quickening
Lich
Etchran
Spines

 

by Etch
6-18-01
President Shinra 2000
Quickening
Eating Spines
Etchran
Chosaru
Tonberry King

 

by Etch
6-21-01
mooglatius
Spoony Bob
Tihocan
Starry Eyed Squall
Etchran
....

 

by Etch
6-21-01
A mike
Mooglatius
Starry Eyed Squall
Tihocan-----------THe hard drugs make his eyes bug out like that.
Etchran
I MUST MAKE A CALL USING 1-800-CALL-ATT SO THE SOUTH SHALL RIZE AGAIN! FOR GREAT JUSTINCE!

 

by Etch
6-22-01
...
Oh jesus...
Pathetic.

 

by Etch
6-22-01
Oh no. no no no no no. There goes clem with his durn porn habit.
*uNF* *uNF**uNF**uNF* *Pant* *Sweat* *Pant* Oh yeah. thats good stuff. *uNF**uNF**uNF**uNF*
Looking at lesbian porn...
Daddy is not dat durn happy now.
GOD DAMMIT BOY! HOW MANY OF DEM TIMES DO I'S HAVE'S TO TELL YA! STOP LOOKIN AT DEM THERE PORN! YOUS GONNA GET IT NOW!
Nooo! daddy! nooooo! *cry* *Cry* Please dont be gettin rid of mah computa! Is the only way I's can look at dem pretty ladies without no 20 dollars!
There goes the puter. His daddy likes dem pigs more I guess. More to hold on too... Ugh god. Why didnt he just let him look at the beautiful lesbian pr0n?
NOT ON YER LIFE BOY! YEEEHAWWWW! TAKE THAT YER DURN COMPUTER! YEEEHAWW! THIS IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS MAKIN MY PIGS SQUEAL!
*FIzzle* *Pop* *Burn*

 

by Etch
6-22-01
Jesus, A jew, and a Morman walk into a bar and...
You're pushing it...
Ok ok. I got it. Jesus, Moses and Ghandi are walking around San Fransisco when they see a bar with a lot of guys...
Now you're just pissing me off...
Ok ok. Jesus an arab and a protestant...oh god. im on fire! ahhhhh!
Haha. Thats what you get. Told you not to piss me off bitch!

 

by Etch
6-24-01
Super fighter chimi destroyed opponent after opponent in the Super World championships where anyone....anything could compete Chimi Vs Maniac Bondage squirrel
Hiyah! take that! and that! and that! *Crack* *Smash* *Crrrack*
Ahhh! my lung! Ahhh! my Spine!!! Ahhh my brain
Yes Chimi Destroyed MBS with relative ease. Chimi was only one round away from fighting the super champion that has reigned supreme for the last 8 years...never losing a match. Next round... C
Ahahahaha! Take that! Hyah! *Burn* *Melt!* *Fizzle* Hah! You cant even stand up to my secret magnifying glass move!
Im melting. Im melting! Oh the humanity!
Yes. Chimi Melted all of her competition down with relative ease. Now. NOW. It was time to take on the super champ! Chimi Vs Jesus
Chimi: ...............................................
Oh! sorry. Those beans give me really bad gas! How was I supposed to know she had a lighter lit to light up her cigarette... Well anyways... Woohoo! I am still the champ!

 

by Etch
6-28-01
Etchran Did a Mortal Kombat Move on Tihocan and sucked up all essence and after wards there was nothing left of tihocan but bones.
Tihocan
Etchran
Quickening the Alien and turned Starry into a Giant African Elephant and Was going to take the ivory tusks to sell them on the indian black market for some money.
Starry Eyed Squall
Quickening
Spines was just about the get the biggest kick in the face by Winged Rinoa's steel 1 inch spiked shoes.
Winged Rinoa
Spines

 

by Etch
6-28-01
Two Druggies At Age 10
I do crack!
I do Acid!
Same two druggies at age 22...
I do crack, PCP, I shoot up, I trip on acid, ice,ecstacy, and snort 32 foot lines of cocaine every hour!
I suck dick for crack, smack, acid, two kilos of crank, pot, hash, crystal meth... You Name it, I sucked dick for it.
I just ran out of ideas here...
Im dead. What the hell could I do now?
You could suck my big bone for crack.

 

by Etch
6-30-01
Tihocan wants to stick his finger in the one eared rabbit in a place that the sun dont shine. Ewww. Bad tihocan!
Come on. Just let me do it once. Please?? With a cherry on top?
*Is to scared to talk. Is shivering and crying because he is scared what tihocan will do to him.*
Well that was downright cold.
Hahaha! You got small balls! Hahahaha! Oh my god am I laughing at you! Small Balls the clown! Ahahahahahaha!
...
Tihocan wanted to touch the transvestite penguins jollies but the penguin had something more painful in mind.
Oh come on. If you let me poke yours, I'll let you poke mine.
*Quack* No! *Quack*! How about I beat you in stead! *Quack QUack*

 

by Etch
7-02-01
Tihocan --------Cross Dresser #1------- (He has some problems with his sexuality)
Starry eyed Squall -------------Cross Dresser #2---------- (No clue as to why he does it....)
Quickening -----------------The sane one------------ (She may be the most sane one of the group but is capable of bloody gut ripping violence at any time.)
Lich ------------The conservative antagonist------------ ( He usually cries when somebody says a bad word, yet can be very against the world sometimes. He hides a grenade under his shirt at all times)
Etchran ------------The friend you can turn to if you have a problem------------ ( Thats what he usually says until he laughs at your problem.)
QuicksilverVII ---------The newbie--------- (Insufficient data to make a complete analysis of this shady character. Even though he is seen at the the strip clubs a lot with a dollar in one hand...)

 

by Etch
7-09-01
This ones been done to death
Tihocan----H'yuck! Get over here starry. Its time for mah massage... H'ycuk!
Starry Eyed Squall---Oh please god no. Not that. I dont wanna touch you there again. Please let me go!
I need to do something about my long beard and do something about my green skin.
Etchran-------A morman, an athiest, and jesus walk into a bar...
Quickening--------You're Such an idiot. Just shut the hell up!
Again... Done to death.
Nightshadress-----Ahhh! Help me! I cant move! Im stuck!
Starina Princess-------.... Thats because you're a comic character.

 

by Etch
7-12-01
Get away from me. Im not your father.
But daddy! I love *bzzzz* *blip* you! You are my robot daddy.
Im not your daddy. Im a killer robot armed with missiles. Wanna see? Here! Taste em bitch! Die now and fry!
The things dead. Its not like he can say anything...
Theres your comic. Ya fuckin happy now?
Why... Yes.

 

by Etch
7-14-01
The moral of this story is...
Ok. 10 paces before we start fighting. Ok? 1...2....3....4....
10!
IS....
...shit
Haha!
sometimes cheating is for the greater good... LITERALLY.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Etch
7-15-01
Thus began the curse that was brought upon by the word shit.
Tihocan- Hows it goin. Shit thats a nice car over there isnt it?
Lich--- Please tihocan. Stop the swearing continues, something bad will happen.
It takes 30 shits to make the curse on lich come true.
Starry--- Holy shit thats a shitty pair of pants. Shit thats shitty.
Lich----- Oh good lord no! only 25 times more and... AND...
...AWWW! ISNT THAT CUTE!!! AWWW!
Etchran---- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
Lich---- Shit.

 

by Etch
7-16-01
Good old Mike wasnt so smart when he was telling the wrong joke at the wrong time to the one person that shouldnt have heard it...
Ok ok.. Jesus is so fat that he....
...Youre Pushing boy...
Uh oh...
Ok! Ok! Heres another one! The devil is better than jesus because...
I told you dammit! You had yer fuckin chance!
He had it coming.
*Burn* *Burn* *Burn* *Burn* *Burn* *Burn* *On Fire*
I warned you ya stupid bitch....

 

by Etch
8-01-01
DO you really...
An avid Player of dungeon and dragons. Does nothing else because his wizard isnt powerful enough and the super dragon is threatening his friends.
Agressive downloader of porn to satisfy this empty sexual life.
take this seriously? If you do...
Known as the hardcore internet slut that will cyber with anybody saying she is a beautiful blonde model when she is really nothing more than whore trash from a skanky trailer park.
The Look for any tweaker that is online after doing 2 pounds of cocaine and thinks that the computer is talking to him telling him to go and kill all characters on PBS.
Im sorry. :(
Oh god. There he/she is. The man/woman pretending to be a woman/man trying to lure a supposedly hot looking/beautiful /man/woman so they can meet and real life and the man/woman will have sex.
I could come up with nothing else. For shame on me.

 

by Etch
8-18-01
LICH
QUICKSILVER
STARINA (I WISH SHE WOULD PICK A PERMANENT NICK. :()
ETCHRAN
In memory of... Temporarilyy
TIHOCAN
QUICKENING

 

by Etch
8-25-01
You want to know what they're lookin at?
You really wanna?
Lesbians fighting with their clothes off. And penguin bondage ofcourse. Both are very popular these days. What are you so suprised about?

 

by Etch
9-09-01
This is just scary. :(
Starry:::-------OOOOHHH tihocan. can you feel me through your modem? *Purrrrrrr***
Tihocan:::------ Oh please help me. Stop the abuse! I cant take it!!! Yes I can feel it. (Stop the abuse. Pwease? ;( )
Killing a nuissance is...
Prezzzzzz Shinra:===== Quick! I love you! Dont you love me! I am in love with you always!
Quickening:::----- Oh dear god no. Think. Think Think. How to get rid of him How to make it go away....
just that easy.
*Fizz crackle burn*
Quick:::----- Hehehe. Damn Im good.

 

by Etch
9-13-01
What happened on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, can never be forgotten.
It is something that will always be remember as one of the worst days in american history. It is one we cannot simply forget.
The pain that this tragedy has caused, is not something that can be changed. THere is no way to change it. The only way we can get by is remembe those who were killed.
I myself, even though I suffered no loss of family or friends, am deeply hurt by this unforgivable tragedy. I cannot believe what happened.
I just hope that justice can prevail. No matter how much a person hates a person or a country, that is no excuse for extinguishing so many innocent lives. IT is un thinkable that this would happen.
I hope we can I, Ben Miranda, give my heart and most sincere condolences to those that suffered the lost of loved ones. I hope we catch whoever is responsible.

 

by Etch
9-25-01
Hello. I am your low-grade newbie type. I like these forums. You are my friend huh? I shall fill these forums with great topics like "Favorite Type of shoe" and "I HATE THOSE DAMN ROCKS IN MY SHOES
............................................
I will be the best thing ever. I know I have been here for only 10 minutes, but can I become an administrator because I like to be mean to people and mess with their accounts!! Fun huh?!
...die.
Well that was fun...

 

by Etch
9-25-01
Hello. I am your low-grade newbie type. I like these forums. You are my friend huh? I shall fill these forums with great topics like "Favorite Type of shoe" and "I HATE THOSE DAMN ROCKS IN MY SHOES
............................................
I will be the best thing ever. I know I have been here for only 10 minutes, but can I become an administrator because I like to be mean to people and mess with their accounts!! Fun huh?!
...die.
Well that was fun...

 

by Etch
11-09-01
The story begins.
Im like angry! I get angry easy! I get angry at what others say! You! listen to what I have to say! Im depressing you know.
Yeah.... Ok....
The plot thickens...
I mean, People always get mad at me and I cant take it anymore! I mean theres this girl and I just cant take it anymore! Gahh! I blame it on her and not myself because I dont know that im a total!~!~
Please... Somebody make him shut the fuck up....where is sweet blissful death when you need him....
Mmmm. Tasty.
AND AND! IM MAD ABOUT SPORTS AND POLITICS AND ANTI S$M EXTREMISTS! GAHHHH! I BLAME IT ON MY PARENTS~!!~ AND YOU~!~ EVEN THOUGH YOU DID NOTHING!
ahhh... sweet blissful death.... oh wow! how considerate! Im glazed with a sweet honey flavored rotisserie barbecue sauce.

 

by Etch
4-27-02
Tihocan: Hes not really skinny but his ass always burns for the one called starry. SUPAR POWAR: Unwanted affection.
Lich: Pours sweet sweet honey on the nasty nasty spam? Bah! SUPAR POWAR!: Thick honey from his bum.
KING : Our Crazy canuck from north of the border. Denies Her canadia heritage even though we knows shes canadian. SPECIAL POWAR: FLAME BALL O DEATH FROM HER FLAPPING HEAD!!~~
Starry: Wears all black and is like trying to ward off tihocans charms. May be Spoony's love child. SPECIAL POWAR: Is able to shoot weak beams out of his guitar.
Etchran: Special Agent for the MEP (Midget eradication parliment) Loves to kick midgets. SPECIAL POWER: Intensifies sun beams off his shiny head which causes sun burns. Doesnt work at night...
Spoony Bob: May be Starry's estranged father. Hes not really a cop. More of a stalker of EVAL! SPECIAL POWAR: Writing tickets with an unreal fine! Doo doo!

 

by Etch
5-20-02
Go to squaresource.
Yes. Go to Squaresource
And Register at the forums.
Yes. You must register at the forums.
Why? Because if you dont do what we say...
We are going to track you down and possibly kill you! Teehee!! no no! Im kidding!! Or are we??? :) Teehee! No were not! We really will kill you...

 

by Etch
5-20-02
Oh dear lord! Can it really be? Can it really be the allmighty lord and savior???!!!!
HEED MY WORDS MORTAL! FOR THIS IS YOUR ALLMIGHTY GOD AND CREATOR OF ALL THOSE THAT LIVE!
Why why....yes my lord!! What do you wish of your loyal subject!
Wait....this smells a bit like a trick.
BRING ALL YOUR POSESSIONS HERE AND LEAVE THEM IN FRONT OF MY FIREY MESSENGER! ALL OF IT! IF YOU DO NOT! I, GOD SHALL KNOW AND WILL SMITE THEE! DO IT NOW LOYAL MORTAL!!
Why yes my lord! I shall do it!! I shall be free of all posessions and hand them over to you mighty lord as payment into heaven and happiness eternal!
Oh. Like you didnt fucking see it coming. Come on. Its fucking obvious.
Haha! That Cocaine in his drink worked like a charm!!! I shall finally get my porno's back! And my vaseline!
I shall do it right away!

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