All comics by FenirWolf

Profile

 

by FenirWolf
11-15-03
So I was really stressed out at work today, when I got a really good idea.
Oh God! Here it comes!
I went up to the floor above me, went to the bathroom and well rubbed one off.
You know if I kill you right now no jury in the world would convict me?!?
I was thinking about your mother while I was doing it!

 

by FenirWolf
11-15-03
Good Afternoon Doctor I am calling today on behalf of Random Pharmacys to offer you to participate in a program to get free stuff.
Oh, good I like free stuff! what do you mean participate?
Well Doctor, participate means that you spent 10+ years of your life in school and I am still smarter than you.
Ok, then Fax me what you have!
to be continued...
Doctor I have drug samples to send you, they can't exactly be faxed.
Really?!? Your competors fax me drugs all the time.

 

by FenirWolf
11-15-03
Let me get this straight, companys fax you drugs?
Drugs? oh I thought you said something else.
By all means Doctor, I am calling with a pharmacy, what do you think I'd be sending you?!?
Actually I wasn't listening to a word you were saying, just fax it!
to be continued...
Doctor, do you even care what I am saying?
No! You'd have to pay me to do that!

 

by FenirWolf
11-15-03
I really wish this was a joke.
Good Afternoon, Doctor's office this is Sadistic the Receptionist speaking how may I help you?
Gads! Can you connect me to someone who could actually help me?
No! But I can connect you to Apathetic our Office Manager.
You know I own a gun, and I have your address right in front of me!

 

by FenirWolf
11-15-03
Do you know what I really hate?
Me?
No, Seriously! I hate it when I masterbate and shoot it in my eye. It stings!
Oh Good Lord! What were you doing to get that in your eye?
Well, I have to bend down like so to get it in my mouth...
Run Away!!! Run Away!!!

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
I really wish this was a joke.
Snow? This isn't working. I think we should see other people.
Okay. I can deal with this.
I mean I think we should still have sex and all, without the boundries of a typical relationship.
What is the catch? There has to be a catch!
Only, you have to remain faithful to me, and wait for me to get bored with sleeping with other men.
If hell is a place on earth I am living there now.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Doing studies, Scientists have found out shocking news about hormone replacement therapy in women.
They found that women recieving large amounts of this therapy exibited signs of dementia due to the large amounts of estrogen.
Their conclusion: Estrogen causes dementia. I could have proven that years ago...just look at my exgirlfriends.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
It was brought to my attention that my last comic might appear sexist, so in order to not get sued, I'd like to say now I am sorry.
So I was really stressed out at work today, when I got a really good idea.
I realise that not ALL women are crazy, just the ones I find attractive.
Woah! she is HOT!
I'm sorry. I just lit my cigarette over there by that gas station and I have no idea what just happened.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Pal, why were you talking earlier when I was trying to apologize to everyone for my last inapproprate joke?
I just wanted to tell you about this great idea I had at work.
Oh Jesus! You didn't jerk off again did you?
No...er I mean yeah.
You need help Pal, you really do.
Yeah, but Dharma won't go for that I already asked.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
So...I met this cute guy the other day, named Snow...He seemed pretty cool.
Snow! I dated him a while back, he IS really cool.
He seems really into me, so I was thinking about asking him out.
You can't do that...I saw him first!!!
to be continued...
Dharma, You are married with 2 kids how can you go around claiming he will be yours?!?
You see we have this deal, he'll wait for me to get bored sleeping with other men, then I'll come back to him.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Now, correct me if I am wrong but, You married Ted. That means you got bored with sleeping with other men and chose to be with him.
No, not at all...he just helps take care of my daughters.
Riiiiiiiiight...
One day Ted and I will get divorced, I'll stop my cheating ways, and Snow will fall back in love with me, and we'll live happily ever after.
logic is lost on this one.
I wonder what He'll want to name the kids!

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Pat this one's for you!
Which do you think is better, looking good or not burning to death?
I'd say not burning to death myself.
Yeah...but I must look good for the ladies!
Oh god...I don't want to melt.
Dude that was sweet! Did any hot girls see me? Dude? DUDE?!?
I was thinking about your mother while I was doing it!

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Pal, really you can't keep randomly talking about jerking off in other people's panels...it's just not cool.
I just want people to notice me.
You are 6 foot 3 with a 9 inch nail in your forehead...people notice you!
Yeah...but I want people to think I am funny.
People don't think you are funny, they think you are a sick bastard!
Well, I guess that works too.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Always get some sleep before discussing God with your spaced out friends.
Hey Harmony! What are you doing?
I am just working on this paper for school. I am trying to mathmatically and philosophically prove the existance of God!
8 hours later.
So if you use this equation here, carry the three and remember the words of Socrates this just might work.
Wow! We are totally on the same wavelength here. Awesome!!!
Did I really spend 8 hours discussing the mathmatical and philosophical existance of God...Hey Hair what are you doing here in my room?!?
I'm not Hair! I am Jesus, and I am here to discuss your poor math skills!

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
So Um...Jesus, what are you doing in my bedroom?
Well...your poor math skill, I am here to talk to you about your friend Pal.
...
We think he is over the top...on the path of becoming very evil, and I need to speak with him. Can you set that up?
You know I am Taoist right?
Yeah that came up...but you were better than my other alternatives.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
So, ok I'll get you to talk to Pal if you meet two of my friends first.
Ok...Done!
The first one is Hair, he looks just like you...cool guy!
um...ok?!?
Who are you and why are you dressed like me???
Snow is so going to turn into a pillar of salt when I see him next!

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Okay, okay! One more friend then on to Pal.
um....okay.
You see I think my friend Rat over there doesn't have his priorities straight...and I think you can help him out with that.
Hello Rat, My friend Snow says you need help with your priorities. I'm here to help you, first list them to me.
Dude, I've found my saviour.
um...lets see, Video Games, Porn, Looking Good, Rummy Bears, Anime, and oh yeah Porn...not in any order.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
My Friend Snow told me you'd be here Pal...I am here to save your soul.
I'm the man...I sold that old thing years ago.
Look at this computer poll, it lists the top 5000 most evil people of all time.
SWEET! I am 3rd Right behind Dubbya and Bill Gates.
Yeah...don't let Bill Gates know, He hates compitition
Um....I have to leave now.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Um...Jesus I have one question before I run away like a little bitch. If that is the list of the top 5000 evil people of all time, where is Satan???
Well, he is there...he is just 4963rd
Wait let me get this straight, Satan got together a bunch of gullible Angels and waged war against your father and he is only 4963rd?!?
Well...he never jerked off at work!
Fair Enough.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Pal...I am Bill Gates! I hacked into Heaven's server and found that you are number 3 on the all time most evil list. Now you must DIE!!!
Oh GOD!!!...Wait?!? Dubbya is number 2 why don't you go after him?!?
Because you twit, I programed him...I can't corner the market of evil by just myself now can I???
I should have known.
Now about your death!
I think running away is a really good idea right now.

 

by FenirWolf
11-16-03
Kill-O-Matic 5000 come here and purge me of this comptition before me.
Wait if he is sending a robot, that means it has his OS, thus it is bound to fail....SWEET! I LIVE!
I used Linux! I am EVIL not STUPID!!!
I am so dead!!!
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM HUMAN!!!
Somebody!!! Help Me!!!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
This is funnier if you know the real guy.
Jesus! Save me! I have seen the error of my evil ways...and Bill Gates is trying to kill me!
I'm not Jesus, I am Hair. I am insulted that you can't tell us apart!
Sorry, But you know it's really hard to tell you two apart.
What are you talking about, Jesus and I don't look a thing alike!
I'd argue with him but I am pretty sure I'd lose
I am Buddist!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
PREPARE TO DIE HUMAN
Leave Me alone! Please!
ROBOPUNCH!!!
OMG!!! Not in the face! NOT IN THE FACE!!!
Um...Hair? Adar? I think it's one of your turns to put out the trash!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Oh Gads! Bill Gates sent a killer robot out and now Pal is dead!
Eww! Gross! We need to do something with his body!
Yeah but what?
Lets put him out with the garbage and leave the township deal with him.
He would have wanted it this way

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Hey Snow. I have been meaning to ask you a question for a while now...Why do you take such long showers?
Well, I like showers, and there is a lot of me to clean.
Dude, with the time it takes you to shower, I could have taken a dump, showered, washed my nipple ring, washed my hair, jerked off, and sang God Save the Queen!
You've timed this before?
Of course! I am practicing for the Bathroom Olympics!
Good Greif!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Hey Hair! What are you up to?
Um...you know just hanging out.
...
I've seen this before!!! Someone put Snow into a coma by reciting a bad pun!!!!
Uh-Oh!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Hey Hair! What are you up to?
Oh, you know! Just hanging around!
...
OH!!! I have seen this before!!! Someone put Snow into a coma by using bad puns!!!
Uh-oh!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Wait a min. Who are you?!?
I am Pal...Bill Gates had me killed and put my soul into this robot.
Um...ok, so why are you here then?
Cause I am the MAN! I reprogramed myself, and I am here to collect my body!
Yeah...you might want to pay a visit to the dump then.

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Dude! You took my body and threw it out!!!
What a spaz?
How could you?!?
Don't look at me, Kill-O-Matic put you in the trash can. We figured that well....since you had a theme going.
You do realize that I now have to kill you!!!
Bring it tin can! You want to die twice in one day!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Alright Hairness Prepare to Die!!!
Bring it on!!! I'll take you down!!!
Hey Guys where is Snow?
He was put into a coma due to someone's bad puns.
Yeah, apparently jokes about hanging out are too much.
Well, at least we know he is ok. I'm going out for Chinese!

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
You know what I can't fight you...we need to figure a way to get Snow out of this coma.
You are right.
I got it perhaps if we get a princess...no wait a young virgin to kiss him, it will wake him up!
Hmm...that just might work.
Why do I have the strange feeling someone is talking about me?

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Hi Hair. Did I hear you and RoboPal talking about me?
Oh no, quite the opposite Dharma, We need a virgin princess to kiss Snow to get him out of a coma.
A virgin princess huh? Sign me up I'm your girl!
this insanity will continue...
um...how to put this lightly
I wonder if I should put on lipstick first?

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Look Dharma...I don't know how to put this lightly so I will just be blunt.
This will make Snow fall in love with me all over again
You have had 2 kids and are married. There is no way in hell you can call yourself a virgin princess.
I need to do my hair, and my nails...jeeze so much to do I should go now.
If you aren't scared yet your should be
In fact you are the exact opposite of a virgin princess...yes I said it a SKANKY HO!...um Dharma?

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
...
Pucker up Snow Baby! Dharma is here to save the day!
3 mins later
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Um...did I do something wrong?
Can someone explain what just happened?!?
Maybe I used to much tounge...

 

by FenirWolf
11-17-03
Can SOMEONE tell me why I am now a pile of ash?!?
Um well Hair told me to kiss you and...
No I told you, that you were a skanky ho, You translated that into kiss Snow!
Yeah We asked for a virgin princess and got something slightly less.
But I must say that is quite a look for you man.
Yeah! I see it as an improvement.

 

by FenirWolf
11-22-03
Cue Banging Music....
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
mmm...milkshakes
And they're like
It's better than yours!
Damn right it's better than yours! I can teach you but I'd have to charge!
I want to make milkshakes...

 

by FenirWolf
11-22-03
pray pray pray
20 mins later
pray pray pray
Hair, I'd get off that cross if I knew what was good for you!
Oh! But this is fun!

 

by FenirWolf
12-05-03
If you have ever had this conversation you may be annoying.
...
???
...
???
based on actuall events.
...
Um...Shut Up!

 

by FenirWolf
12-05-03
Pal! You got your body back!
Yeah...well...you know.
???
I convinced Satan his evil rating would go up if he helped me out...now he is third on the list.
Third???
Yeah...right behind me...W is pissed.

 

by FenirWolf
12-05-03
Did you see the new girl at work Pal? She is pretty hot!
No where is she?
um...er Hi!
Hi there I am Morneen, I'm new here.
Dude I told you!
I have to go use the 4th floor bathroom again!!!

 

by FenirWolf
12-21-03
VP of my company giving the "Pep talk"
I like to think of this company as a body...you are all the guts, marketing is the eyes and me and my staff are like the ears.
VP of my company giving the "Pep talk"
I like to think of this company as a body...you are all the guts, marketing is the eyes and me and my staff are like the ears.
VP of my company giving the "Pep talk"
I like to think of this company as a body...you are all the guts, marketing is the eyes and me and my staff are like the ears.

 

by FenirWolf
1-16-04
Neese doens't look anything like the person she is modeled after but I am working with what I got.
Hey Hair we've been dating for a while now and I was thinking it
*ahem* My Friends? You don't want to meet them.
Why Not? How bad can they be?
Imagine the most frightning thing you can think of...it's worse than that.
I get it...you are ashamed of me!
No...them trust me I have your safety in mind here.

 

by FenirWolf
1-16-04
Hey Guys! Meet Neese My Girlfriend.
Eep!
Hi! I am Zeram! I have piercings they don't even have names for yet!
Hello! I am Snow and I'm crazier than people say!
Adar Here, You are cute...In a I'm so scared I am going to pee myself sort of way.
I'm Pal...and I'll be back, I have to use the bathroom.

 

by FenirWolf
1-17-04
Hey Snow! What did you think of Neese?
I thought she was quiet but very cool.
Darn! That means I have to dump her now!
What are you talking about...I said I like her.
Exactly...that means she must be crazy!
Sheesh

 

by FenirWolf
1-17-04
Hair...? I overheard you talking with Snow the other day...
Ok...what were we saying?
Are you really going to dump me because Snow said I was cool?
Nah...that was just a joke, besides I love you to pieces
Pieces? I don't know how to respond to that.
Mmmm. Neese's Pieces!

 

by FenirWolf
1-17-04
I don't get it! I've been single for over a year now.
...
It is as if no one finds me attractive anymore
Now is my chance to tell Harmony how I feel about her!!! This is great!!!
Wait...I take that back. Only creepy guys find me attractive.
Ouch! My Ego!

 

by FenirWolf
1-17-04
Hey Harmony, There is something I want to tell you.
...Can't hear you! I am working on my computer!
Well...I really like you...A Lot....and I was thinking maybe we could go out sometime?
I'm posting on yahoo personals. You are going to have to talk to me in here.
Oh Look my first hit!

 

by FenirWolf
1-17-04
I just have to say for the record, the woman behind the cash register smelled like the lotion I use to jack off with.
?!?
...
Dude, That joke wasn't funny earlier tonight when you said it about my mom either!!!
...wait a min. What joke???
!!!

 

by FenirWolf
2-04-04
Hello...
Hey Snow, it's Harmony. I 've been thinking about what you were saying yesterday about wanting to take me out.
Really?!?
I think I should come over so we can discuss this.
Ok! My door is always open!
Cool! Can I bring my boyfriend?

 

by FenirWolf
2-04-04
Hey Snow, this is Krys...my boyfriend.
Hey Snow
Hey Krys
Harmony tells me that you are one of the coolest guys on the planet.
I think I will go cry now

Showing page 1.

Next »