All comics by Organizm

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by Organizm
5-04-01
Hello, Billy! I am Satan! Worship me, and I will give you power!
Fuck off.
Hello, Billy. I am the Lord Jesus. Worship ME, and I will give you peace everlasting.
Fuck off.
HELLO, BILLY. I AM CTHULHU. WORSHIP ME, AND I WILL USE MY MOUTH TENDRILS TO GVE YOU THE BEST BLOWJOB YOU'VE EVER HAD.
Booooooyah!!

 

by Organizm
5-04-01
Excuse me, sir, can you tell me how to get t....
RUB IT ON MY LIPS!!!!
I'm going to back away slowly now.....
I just came.

 

by Organizm
5-04-01
Argh! Life is a pit of emptiness! I will slit my wrists now!
Or I could strip you naked and ride you like a bucking bronco.
Sure, why not?
I'll go get the saddle.

 

by Organizm
5-04-01
Argh! Life is a pit of emptiness! I will slit my wrists now!
Or I could strip you naked and ride you like a bucking bronco.
Sure, why not?
I'll go get the saddle.

 

by Organizm
5-04-01
We need souls.

 

by Organizm
5-04-01
Banging a nail in my head, lalalal.....
.....so I said, "Rectum?! I nearly KILLED HIM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
SECRET MESSAGE!!!
Kill your parents! Worship Satan! 666 sign of the beast! H4x0r2 r0cx!
Ready for some hot penguin lovin?

 

by Organizm
5-06-01
Wow, a robot! What can you do??
Oh, all sorts of things! Tell time, cure cancer, speak any language...you name it!
All you have to do is get down on your knees and put my 'special interface cylinder' in your mouth.
I feel dirty.
Better hurry up! You'll miss the weather report!

 

by Organizm
5-06-01
Testicular nailing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

 

by Organizm
5-06-01
I've got demons in my head that say I must chop off my penis!
WHAM!!!!!
Little help please?
Man, alchoholics sure bleed fast!

 

by Organizm
5-06-01
ASL?
Jesus Christ, youve been spending too much time on that computer!
LOL LMAO ROFLMAO!
And we found all that hentai and plumper porn on your hard drive.....You have problems, you know that?
BRB !
Please, Jim, get help! We're worried about you. You haven't changed your pants in months, they're covered in nacho cheese and semen......it's really fucking sick.

 

by Organizm
5-06-01
Hey, fag, what are you doing?
Just thinking about what an inspiration you are. You know, few men can be so happy without a cock. How do YOU do it?
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU LITTLE FUCKER?! I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS! UM..UMMMM...FUCK!!
Oh, I almost forgot! I got a letter from your mom. She says thanks for the hot sex, and she says you get beat up by preschoolers. Way to go. She signed it, "Sugarkiss".
Yeah, I know I was asking for it. But the look on his face right before he stepped on my nuts, stole my money, beat the shit out of me, and put me in the garbage...I could tell he really respected me.

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Gabe, I told you, I wont go out wih you. I'm a lesbian. Get over it.
Yeah, I know, but....I had an idea where we can BOTH be happy.
Whats that?
Can I watch?
CRACKK!!
Did I mention I'm a SAMURAI Lesbian? HEEEEEEYYAAAHH!!!
OOOOWWW! No, I think you forgot that part.....

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
OH MY GAW! IT'S AJ FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS! OH I LOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU!!!!!!!!
Uh, no...no, you must have me mistaken for someone else.
Kristen! Get over here! Its AJ!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!
When will they realize I just want to be left alone? When will I ever find peace???
10 years later.....
Hey, where am I...?
WELCOME TO HELL! HERE, YOU WILL SPEND ETERNITY IN HORRIBLE PAI.....Oh my god, AJ! I LOVE YOU! Will you sign my pitchfork?! EEEEE! Wait till God hears about this, He's going to be SO jealous!!!

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Yoyoyo, Home slice! Wazzzzuuuppp, my g?
I beg your pardon?
I'm just chilling wit my posse, hangin on da west side, yo, wit some phattie blunts! Word to yer grannies panties!
Um...do you speak english, sir? I'm afraid I can't understand you.
Brutha, you is fly! Where all da honies at, cuz I got sum mad skilzz. BOOTY!
What is WRONG with white people?!

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Damn it, Will, I messed up again.
What happened?
I accidentally hurt Mr. Johnsons dog while I was mowing his yard, and now he wont let me work for him anymore.
Did you try apoloizing to him?
I did...but now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have used the dogs head like a handpuppet to do the apologizing.
Hmm..thats odd. Did you make it have a funny voice or anything?

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Last night, my girlfriend said I was the sexiest man she knew.
So don't feel weird if you were checking out my ass just now.

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Hey, all you Washington fatcats in there! Meat is murder! Save the whales! Stop destroying the rainforest! Stop pollution!
I'm George Bush! We want to thankful you for being good thing and we no destroy forestation or have pollutingsany more with the meat! Peace and lovitization for all!
Whoooaa! Groovy man! Now the world will be at peace!
The next day......
Like, thanks a lot asshole! Once we stopped eating meat, the cows rebelled! And all the bugs from the rainforest evolved into bloodsucking mutants due to lack of pollution keeping them down!!
This is all my fault! If only I had eating meat! And drove a car! And chopped down a few stupid trees! Oh god... Greenpeace has forsaken me!

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Okay, we have the corn and the douches...whats next on Moms shopping list?
Um...feee...fee...feeb...um.......feeeeeeeebb...uh...drizzle?

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
You can prevent me from starving...for only 3$ a day, I can have food, shelter, clean clothes, and a home
Its only pennies a day. 300 pennies, but still pennies. And you'll be making a difference.
Also, I'll give you oral sex.
I HAVE MONEY!!!!

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Ok, we have the corn and douches...whats next on moms shopping list?
Um...feeeb...fee...feeee...uh...drizzle?
Gimme that! Look, it says 'bread'. Bread, you fucking retard. Jeezus, whats wrong with your brain?
I dunno, George. But look! A hammer and a nail! This is a perfect present for mom!
Listen Timmy; the next time you say something stupid like that....I'm going to take your penis, and cut it off. Cut it off, Timmy. I'll cut it off.
Did you say something, George?

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
........So I said, "Thats not her vagina, its her SISTER!
BADUMP-BUMP!
I've got crabs.

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Come to the circus!
I'm BarkBark the Wonder Dog! I can ride this BALL, and look cute!
I'm Bobo the mutant snail. I lick ankles.
Come to the circus!!!
I'm Toby, the bronco-riding cowboy. I also put penises in my mouth for money.
I-AM-THE-ROBOT!! I-CRUSH-THE-HUMANS-RIBS!! PAK-CHOI-UNF!!
COME TO THE CIRCUS!
I'm Snicky, the happy clown. I'll kill you behind the trailers and hide your body in the snowcone machine.
I'm Skullhead Jack. I eat faces.

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
Guess what I just bought!!!! A Playstation 2!! Who da man!!
Ummm...wasn't that money for that little girl in Europe? You know, so she wouldn't starve?
Uh oh.
Boy, I feel kinda weird attending her funeral...after all, I AM responsible for her death....I think I'll miss he...OHHHH! A GRIEF BUFFET! With ROAST BEEF! Booooyah!!

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
HAHAHA! REDBOT-72, YOU WILL NOT TRICK GREYBOT-729 INTO PUTTING HIS ROBO-COCK IN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN! GREYBOT-729 IS TOO CLEVER FOR THAT!
GREYBOT-729 IS CORRECT. BUT WHAT GREYBOT-729 DOES NOT REALIZE IS THAT REDBOT-72 HAS DETACHED HIS ROBO-COCK AND PLACED IT INTO REDBOT-72'S FECAL RECEPTICAL.
BZZZT.
REDBOT-72 IS AN ASSHOLE.

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
GREETINGS HUMAN FEMALE.
Ummm...my name is Rachel......
IT DOES NOT MATTER. WE HAVE TAKEN YOU ON BOARD TO LEARN ABOUT THIS THING YOU HUMANS CALL 'FUCKING.'
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
PREPARE FOR THE PROBING
You do know I'm going to kill you now, right?

 

by Organizm
5-07-01
OK!! THAT DOES IT! Now I'm PISSED!!!!
SHIT!
KAAAABLLOOOOOEEEYYYYY!!!!!
OH SWEET SPACE JEEZUS! IT BURNS!
Oh, be quiet.

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
...so there I was, elbow deep in her cun...-
Look, I'm not sure I should be telling these jokes...what if a kid reads this? I mean, what kind of example am I setting for the kids? Huh? Huh?!
Look, I'm the artist here. Just do what your told, and maybe I wont put you in a strip eating pudding out of the cowboys asshole.
BADUMP-BUMP!
..SO SHE SAYS, "BUT I'M NOT A CHRISTIAN, I'M A MENONITE!!!!"

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
Hey Carl. Hows every lil thing?
Ohhhhh, geez. This has been the day from hell.
Oh yeah? What happened?
I had to take a buttload of souls down to hell. Bunch of gay-bashers, right? So Satan's ready to tear into them, cuz you know, he's gay.
NO! Really?
Yep. Jesus too. So anyway, this one idiot starts calling me a skinny fag. All the way there, "Hey Fag! Skinny fag!" I swear, I almost lost it. Thank god for my discman,

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
By the year 2024, cloning will have advanced far enough to the point where we can clone any human being we chose. Even the dead ones. Any historical figure from the past can be brought back to life.
This in turn will lead to a new sport........
JESUS CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHTING!
You aint got nuthin, foo! I'ma take you down!
Bring it on, BITCH!

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
Okay, Kristen said her friend would meet me here...what was her name again? I think she said Tammy....I wonder if she's fa...
Hey, stud. The names Tommy. Kristen said you were hot, but she didn't tell me you had an ass you could bounce a quarter off. UH!
Would it offend you if I started screaming?
Hey, whatever gets you off. Big T wants you to be comfortable while he does his thang.

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
I know you love me.
I think you love me.
Do you love me?

 

by Organizm
5-08-01
I was up all night pondering the meaning of existence. I mean, whats the point? Is there a God? Why are we here?
So I looked to Darwins theory of evolution...did we evolve from mammals, or are we a product of a higher being, a god as we think of them, or a being with such powers as to appear godlike to us?
You ever get that oily film on top of the water when you crap?
I hate you.

 

by Organizm
5-09-01
This is a man on our street his name is Mr. Peterson, But he tells everyone to call him Cowboy Toby. He never stops smiling either. No matter what. Which is odd, seeing how he doesnt have much to be h
He didn't even stop smiling when his whole family died in a car crash.
It was Gods plan. Nothing to be done about it.
Not even when the cops pulled him over and found the 3 dead kids in his trunk and all the pictures of him having sex with the poodle.

 

by Organizm
5-09-01
PING-PONG BALLS?! I thought you said KING KONGS BA.....
Look, this isn't even funny...do I really have to do this?
OK! THATS IT! I've had enough of your backtalk!
Goddamnit.
You got a real purty mouth, boy.

 

by Organizm
5-09-01
Hey baby...check out my penis! Awwwww yeah!
Inchworm! CUUUUUUTE!
Hey!
Loooook, it's trying to hide!
Guh......SCREW YOU!

 

by Organizm
5-09-01
Hello, little girl. Um...what can I do for you?
Good lord...her eyes...she's inhuman......
MY HATRED FOR YOU.....IS DELICIOUS.

 

by Organizm
5-10-01
A game is being played...a game that has been played for millenia....
Can't let him beat me...
Uhhh...must try....HARDER!
A game that has taken the lives of many......Who will be the victor this time?
Almost...uhhhhh..
Urgh...I'm so close! I won't lose again!!
And so the game begans anew.....
AHAH!! JUMANJI ! !
Damnitt! Damndamndamn!! Best 1 trillion out of 3 decillion?

 

by Organizm
5-10-01
Hey, Luce...sorry I'm late for the part-
PURPLE TOMATOS! You're it!
Um...what?
Neenerneenerneener! Now you have to catch me!!
Oh for...is this another one of your weird-ass games, God?
Hawhawhaw! You get -5 points for not having pants! Now you have to go to the Hiding Box!!

 

by Organizm
5-10-01
Hey, Luce...sorry I'm late for the part-
PURPLE TOMATOS! You're it!
Um...what?
Neenerneenerneener! Now you have to catch me!!
Oh for...is this another one of your weird-ass games, God?
Hawhawhaw! You get -5 points for not having pants! Now you have to go to the Hiding Box!!

 

by Organizm
5-10-01
Hey yo, Big D! What up, cuzz? I think I got somethin you might be interested in......
Tyler, I don't think I should be doing drugs. It'll mess up my schoolwork/ Also, my mom says 'dope' is for dopes.
Man, you're moms a ho. She don't know nuthin...trust me, this'll make you feel gooooood. And all the ugly girls will look like fiiiine bitches.
Hmmm...I guess if it'll help me get bitches.....
sO? wHaT dO yOu ThInK?
I think you better run before I put my dick in you.

 

by Organizm
5-10-01
Hey Lance.
Hey Carl.
ZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPPPP*
AAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Well, see ya.
Jeez Louise!! What the hell is WRONG with you?!

 

by Organizm
5-12-01
Enough of this shit...I refuse to be treated this way. She ignores me, flirts with other guys...Im better than that!
I'm going to tell her how I feel....how it hurts me when she does these things, how it tears me up inside.
.................................

 

by Organizm
5-21-01
So, have you figured out my dream date yet?
BZZZT...I ENTERED YOUR WEIGHT, AGE, AND PERSONALITY TRAITS.
And?
BEEP...PROCESSING.
Hey...this is just a picture of my fist and a jar of vaseline!
AND YOU LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER!

 

by Organizm
5-25-01
Oh man...I just read the scariest thing in The Vampire Lestat...it was sooooo creepy...
Really? Was it scarier than...
....THIS?! BOOOGABOOOGA!!!!
Dammit, Mike, how come everytime we go out you have to show me your 'Demon Possesion' trick? Its so lame!
You're no fun anymore.

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
What's the difference between you and a sick dog?
I do not know. What is the difference between me and a sick dog?
I don't know either, but your mother's a whore.
It's true, ya know.
I hate you.

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
Hey Captain Party Panties, why are you dressed like such a fruit? Do you actually think criminals will fear you when you're dressed like that? What's your super power, being a queer? Hahaha!
Well, Little Billy, not quite......
WAAAAHHHTA!
Oh, shazbot.

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
Ok, so you can turn me into a freak rabbit thing...so what? That's a stupid power anyway.
That's not all I can do, Little Billy. I have X-ray vision. So all day long, I know how big your penis is.
W...what?
All day long, Billy. I know how big your penis is. All day long.
NOOOOOOOO!!!
That's it, Billy. Run. But you'll never escape my eyes. I can always see you. I can always see allllll of you!

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
Man, I'll never be able to write a good song...I may as well just quite my lousy band and get a real job......
!!!!
You can do anything if you put your mind to it, brother.
Kurt Cobain??! I thought you were dead!
I was!

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
Oh my god! I can't believe I'm really talking to you!
Believe it, man.
I have so many questions for you....I don't even know where to begin.......
Just relax....say what's on your mind.
Ok, ummm...does Courtney Love smell as bad as she looks?
If you mean like rotting, filthy underwear...then yes. Yes she does.

 

by Organizm
8-03-01
Hmmm......I need a new idea for a comic......
Why don't you do something about that 'All your base' stuff? Or a Monica Lewinsky joke? Those are always 'hip'!
Uh...yeah mom, that's great.....go away now.
Ok, ok....momma's gotta go work now anyway *hackhack*.
You mean giving blowjobs behind the DMV?
Giving blowjo----right.

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