All comics by Screwball

Profile

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
I had the brilliant idea of inviting a couple of my friends out on the town with me.
We went into a bar and one of my buddies started hitting on this one chick sitting with a couple of bald white guys who were UFC guys.
The paramedics put in an appearance roughly 5 minutes later.

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
Another brilliant idea I had was going out to Hunters in EGV without cab fare, only bus fare.
You ever tried walking through Elk Grove Village??
You won't get this joke unless you live in IL.
I kept looking for signs saying "What the fuck are you doing in our town, bitch? And by the way, visit Heavenly Bodies on Elmhurst and Oakton!"

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
Hey, Twan, want a cig?
No thanks, man, I don't put tobacco in my mouth and suck on it, that's nasty.
But you put your tongue up guys...
Shut up. Now.

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
Today I was explaining to my brother my theory about black guys and their attraction to white women.
He didn't reply because he was too busy watching the ass of the white girl across the street.

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
It would seem I've run into a difficulty.
A...difficulty?
Yes, it's about my girlfriend.
Okay, you and Twan really need to quit calling them girls.
You;'re just mad because you have more estrogen than they do.
At least I'm man enough to not have to bite a pillow while getting screwed by one of those wannabes!

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
(yawn) Sorry, I just woke up. What's going on?
Josh and Allen are having a fight.
What about?
Who gives a fuck?
I'm going back to bed. Wake me up before they start screwing. The neighbors complained iast time and we all nearly went to the slammer.
Josh, that was one girly-ass slap, man! Put your elbow into it!!

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
Once again, I have to intro the cast of this comic strip.
Twan
Josh
Allen
Hey, I'm JB!
Oh, and some guy who heard we had free weed.
Tasha...why are you guys staring at me?
You're going to pay for this one.

 

by Screwball
2-22-09
The second half of my cast of iijts
Dr.Drew Pinsky.
You know, I'm one of the funniest people alive. Quiet down there, Drew.
I'm Donna Marie, and I'm known as a spinner. I still don't know what that is...
Republican Man is not dead! (but he is still gay)
And finally, my evil prick of a best friend.
You know I'm just hanging around to screw you over, right?

 

by Screwball
2-23-09
AW FUCK. I gotta go to my 5 year high school reunion.
So? Won't it be nice to see your old friends? Teachers, and conquests?
Conquests? Josh, I went to Lincoln Park. I put my name up on the wall as a member of SUDS. Dude, I was a nerd. How could this POSSIBLY be fun??
Stop whining, Twan. Go. Enjoy yourself. What's the worst that could happen??
So I live in a big house with a bunch of guys and we all have good jobs and....John, why are you staring at me?
you sound like a gay.

 

by Screwball
2-23-09
Hey, Josh, I'm back from work. What's up with Twan at the reunion?
Oh, you know ol' Negatiive Nancy.
Well, it was pretty bad when he got the invitation. He pitched a fit about it.
Oh, please, JB, you know Antwan. He's always pissing and moaning about having to go anywhere or do anything. I'm sure he's probably dancing his ass off to whatever they listened to then.
...and so then after I married Chris and had 11 kids we divorced and I took up with Becky but I couldn't see me married to a woman so I dumped her and starting dating Lawrence but Lawrence couldn't...
Kill me now, Lord.

 

by Screwball
2-23-09
Hey Twan, I didn't know you were gay!!
Uhhhhh....you are??
Dude, it's me, Elliot. You sure don't act gay, you're like, super-masculine.
There are masculine gays out there.
Really? So you're getting paid for it? I heard all the masculine ones were prosties.
What in the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Screwball
2-23-09
We're moving to another strip.
The idea being that we want to get away from the earlier versions of the strip, which featured a wide range of characters.
See you on the flip!
That I'd rather not admit I knew.

Showing page 10.

« Previous