All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
7-04-05
Dude... I'm going into surgery tomorrow to get my arm reattached...
Groovy!
I asked my doctor if I'll be able to play the violin afterwards, and he said, "Of course." Then, I said-
Let me guess... "Great! 'Cause I can't play now!"
How'd you know..?
Dude... That joke's older than... Uh, older than... Uh... Ah, dammit! The readers can fill in the rest! I'm tired of doing all the @%#$ work around here!Late...

 

by edoggydog
7-04-05
Dude... Pull my finger again. It should work this time...
Groovy!
Damn! Nothing happened! This has been going on all day! Atleast fifty people have pulled my finger, and I haven't farted yet!
Dude... What is that low, rumbling noise that sounds as if pressure building up right before an-
...explosion?

 

by edoggydog
7-04-05
Okay! I've got it all worked out! Pull my finger...
Groovy!
Stand back! I'll be heading that-a-way!
?
BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!
Dude! What DID you have for lunch? A case of rotten eggs!?

 

by edoggydog
7-04-05
Dude,... There's this woman I've been stalk- er, wanting to date, and I finally figured out a way to "talk" to her...
Groovy!
I saw in a movie once where this guy puts a toothpick in the woman's car door keyhole. Then, while she struggling to get the key in the hole, (whammo!) he's got her!
Did it work for you?
Nahhh! The bitch had a keyless remote... I swear! They're making it harder and harder to be a creep nowadays...
Tell me about it! Late...

 

by edoggydog
7-04-05
...then, I see her with another guy, so I sent her a dozen dead roses! Pretty cool, huh?
Groovy!
Say... Have you ever noticed in line at the supermarket some people spread out their items on the conveyor belt in such a way that you have to wait before you can put your items on...
Not another, god-forsaken, boring story! Hmmm... I think if I concentrate really hard, I'll spontaneously combust... Must concentrate! CONCENTRATE!!
...said conveyor belt so you stand there like a doofus and your icecream is getting soft and your ice is melting not to mention the the big bucket of kitty litter hurting your shoulder because it...
Aaaaaaaahhhhh! Mucho mejor!!

 

by edoggydog
7-05-05
Groovy!
Glad you think so! Now, please, step inside...
Are you sure it's safe?
Of course, it's safe! I ran virtual experiments on my computer proving so! Now, please, step inside...
Have YOU stepped inside and tested it yourself?
Hell no! Are you @$#% nuts?! Now, step your stupid-ass inside, or you ain't getting your $20 per diem!

 

by edoggydog
7-05-05
[*swish* *swish* *swish* *swish*]
Groovy!
[*KA-KUNK!*]
One load, all at once! Suh-weeeeeeeeeeet!
[*RRRRRRRRRRRR...*]
I just LOVE these new, gigantic washers the laundramat installed!

 

by edoggydog
7-05-05
Dude... Timmy the Pervert taught me a great, new trick!
Groovy!
Pull my dick!
Sure thin- Hey! Isn't it supposed to be "pull my finger"?
"Pull my finger"? Damn you, Timmy the Pervert! DAMN YOU!!
I take it he didn't fart, either...

 

by edoggydog
7-05-05
...so, I tell guy, "Try it out for a few days, and if you're not completely satisfied, I'll give you double your soul back.."
Groovy!
By the way... I just heard some guy on the radio say that SEX is important in EVERY relationship...
You don't say! (Hmmm...)
[ring ring] Hello..?
Hey, Mom... Great news!

 

by edoggydog
7-06-05
"Who's next for 'Show and Tell'..?"
Groovy!
"That's a very pecular item you brought in today..."
"Tell the class where you got it..."
He just followed me home one day...
How much longer do I gotta stand here, dude?

 

by edoggydog
7-06-05
Let me try it there... Oh, yeah! Is it good for you?
Groovy!
Oooo... What about here?
Actually, I liked it better in the other spot...
THEN, RE-ARRANGE THE GODDAMN FURNITURE YOURSELF, FUCK-FACE!!
MOM!!

 

by edoggydog
7-06-05
...and, the best part is that I can now blast the heat during the winter, avoiding having to hibernate!
Groovy!
But, one downside to home ownership is trying to keep up with the high payments!
Hear! Hear!
I tell ya... My mortgage is one, huge monthly "nut"! Get it? NUT!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]
Hopefully, you have some extra money "squirreled" away for emergencies! Get it? SQUIRRELED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

by edoggydog
7-07-05
Woah, dude... This is so psychodelic, man!
Groovy!
It's like the whole room is swirling, bro'... I see tracers everywhere! My feet are numb, my arms are tingly, and you look like a big, fucking lizard, man! This is some strong-
Dude! Do me a favor...
What..?
Shut up, so I can drink my coffee and watch the wall breathe in peace!

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
Dude... Have you heard of that charity on the radio called, "Kars for Kids"? It sounded like a great cause, so I gave them a call...
Groovy!
I told them I wasn't too picky... Maybe, a late model Mustang, or a slightly used Bimmer. Heck, I'd be okay with a pickup or SUV...
Uh...
That was three months ago, and so far NOTHING! I knew it was too good to be true! I'm thinking of calling the FBI, and reporting them as a scam...
From the mouth of babes!

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
Okay... I've cast the spell on you like you wanted, so now you're that flaming, gay-boy from AccentuateNegative's strip...
Groovy!
Any questions..?
Yeah... What are you planning to do with that broom?
NOT shoving it up your ass, if you must know!
Damn!

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
...so, the key is to walk around with this shit-eating grin, and I find people avoid me like, well, someone who's been eating shit!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... You have a question for me about child birth?
Yeah... Why do doctors spank babies when they're born?
Because, it knocks the dicks off the dumb ones!
I don't get it!

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
"...and, if anyone here is without sin, the let him throw the first stone." Then, the mob pelted the whore with about fifty rocks! I swear... Those boneheads were in such denial!
Groovy!
So... You want to know how to fair better with the ladies? Well, you first need to get in touch with the female inside you...
I did that already...
And, what happened?
The bitch slapped me!

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
Sure... I'll tell you what the "H" stands for in "Jesus H. Christ"...
Groovy!
But, you have to promise me that you won't tell ANYONE!
I swear to GOD!
You wanna leave my father out of this, fag-boy?
Sorry...

 

by edoggydog
7-08-05
Okay! You are forgiven, my son...
Groovy!
Now, remember... I'll tell you what the "H" in my name stands for, but you cannot tell a SOUL!
Just how bad could it be?
It's, um, "Hershel"...
Daaaaaaamn! Sorry I asked...

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
...then, when the Martian ships came out of the ground and starting zapping people, well, I couldn't help but stand up and cheer!
Groovy!
I had the abortion!
Huh? What the HEAVEN was that?!
Hmmm... That was a frame from a past comic in Stripcreator.com. Apparently, there's a glitch in the website software...

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
Groovy!
Hey, dude...
Whatcha doing?
I'm programming my DVR to record a bunch of future broadcasts...
Coolio! Which shows?
No shows. Just those "Fanta! Fanta! Don't you wanta?!" commercials... I don't drink the crap, but I just loves me that jingle!

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
"...be sure to tell your doctor if you've died from a major herpes breakout due to the side effects of Noassatall. We now return you to the news..."
Groovy!
"Today, the premier of Kyrgyzstan vowed to revive democracy in his country..."
Cool...
"Once this has been instituted, the next order of business is to re-name the country to something the citizens could actually spell and/or pronounce..."
Who are these countries..?

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
...so, there I was, just ready to give up on life after my accident. Then, I saw a tape of a speech by Jim Valvano, which gave me the will to live!
Groovy!
The most inspiring part of his speech was when he said, "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!"
Yeah, I remember that speech. He gave it right before he died of cancer...
*Sigh*
I'm sorry! I thought you knew...

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
* You must set the timer for EXACTLY 5:36 p.m.!
Allum ack bar Allah kan surum!*
Groovy!
* Make sure you get your ass out of the 7-11 no later than 5:35 p.m.!
Ude ude gallum ack Allah gogum 7-11 gonad karem!*
I just love hanging out here all day...
* This will teach this infidel not to mooch free Big Gulp refills!!
Abdulla Paula Abdulla karem gonash Allah kuss-kuss Big Gulp kareem abdul jabar!!*
...mooching free Big Gulp refills!

 

by edoggydog
7-11-05
♫ ...like the story says, these boys are bad. Stay out of shooting range! ♫
Groovy!
♫ 'Cuz I was too, too hot, baby! Too hot to handle! ♫
Man, I love this group! I'm glad they got back together!
WARNING: Readers under the age of 40 may not get this comic!
Me, too!
Me, three!

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
...and, if I a press my fists to my eyes long and hard enough, I start seeing stars! It's fekking rad, dude!
Groovy!
So, to answer your question about why me and my Persian girlfriend broke up... Frankly, she was just way too tight!
Because she's Jewish? I can't believe you just said that!
Not monetarily, you bonehead!
Whaaaaaaaaat? You've lost me...

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Okay... I'll put it another way so that you'll understand...
Groovy!
Me and my Persian girlfriend broke up because we just didn't "fit", if you know what I mean...
As in trying on each other's clothing?
AAAAAAAAAAAA!!
What'd I say? What'd I say?

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Hmmm... I'll try a different approach in explaining this to you...
Groovy!
It's like trying to force headphones from the 70's into the lastest version I-Pod. The jack is just way too big for the tiny input hole! Get it?
So... What your saying is you like Disco, and she's into Maroon 5?
I'm being "Punk'd" right now, aren't I!
I don't understand why you let music come between you two...

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Dude... Your denser than compressed lead! But, I'll try one last time to explain to you why we broke up...
Groovy!
My "choo-choo" is way too big for her "tunnel"! We could never make "woo-woo"!
Oh, now I get it... She hates trains!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Kinda dumb, if you ask me! Late...

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Waffles!
Groovy!
Pancakes!
Crankshaft!
( The password is "SYRUP" )
GODDAMNIT!!
Bill Clinton!

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Dude... I was just standing there, minding my own business...
Groovy!
Then, some jamoak dared me to cross the road. I didn't want to be called a "chicken", so I stepped off the curb...
And, that was when the twenty-three car pile-up occured?
Yeah! That's how I explained it to the FBI, but they still insisted on interrogating me for the past three hours! I don't mind doing my part for homeland security, but was the anal probe necessary?
Well, I'm sure they wanted to make sure you aren't a terror- huh? Anal probe? Sexy!

 

by edoggydog
7-12-05
Dude... I just got done reading a book on human personality types...
Groovy!
Basically, there are two kinds of people: those who see a glass half-full, and those who see it half-empty. Which catagory do you fall in?
Well, when I see a partially filled glass, I think to myself, "Who the @$#% has been drinking my water?"
Gee... What a kind, caring person you are!
Yeah, whatever bucket-head! I'm gonna go check out the sea monkeys...

 

by edoggydog
7-13-05
Dude... Thanks for being so honest about your childhood. With the info you provided, I'm able to draw a picture representing your psychological make up...
Groovy!
Hmmm... Just a few more lines and some shading, and (voila!) I'm done...
Cool! Let's see it...
MUST KILL SANTA CLAUS FOR NOT BRINGING ME BB GUN FOR CHRISTMAS!!
YOU'LL PUT AN EYE OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

 

by edoggydog
7-13-05
...then, I said to my nephew, "Just look around you. Love is everywhere! So, go out there and cornhole some beotch while your still young!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... What was it you wanted to ask me?
What advice can you give me on women?
Dude... Just look around you. Love is everywhere! Go out there and cornhole some beotch while...
Snap!

 

by edoggydog
7-13-05
"Down! Set! Hut! HUT!!"
Groovy!
'WE INTERRUPT 'GROOVY!' TO GO TO AN IMPORTANT NEWS UP-BRIEF!"
Today, there was a major break in the terrorist attack on London...
"Let's go to the video tape..."
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Thank you for calling Scotland Yard. How may I be of assistance?
"My son, who's Pakistani, but born in England, who just got back from 'summercamp' in Eastern Afghanistan, is missing! He said he and his three friends were going to London to have a 'blast', and..."

 

by edoggydog
7-14-05
Hey, uncle... I think you'll be really proud of me! I've decided to do my part for the war on terror!
Groovy!
I'm going to join the armed services!
You? At your Age? Which branch..?
The INFANT-ry! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]
[expletive deleted]!

 

by edoggydog
7-14-05
...and, the thing get's 29 miles to the gallon!
Groovy!
But, what sucks is that I bought it mostly because my cute, Persian ex-girlfriend liked it... Boy, I sure miss her!
Wow! You're really having a hard time letting her go, aren't you..?
Yes! [*sniff*] I really loved my Sport Trac!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!
So... How is this "racket" serving you? Get it? RACKET? SERVE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

by edoggydog
7-14-05
So... What do you think of Phuckit, Thailand?
Groovy!
Coo'! Now, remember... When we go visit my distant relatives here, try not to stare at them when you meet them. Okay?
Okay... But, why would I stare at them? They couldn't be any more goofy-looking than you, right?
Wrongo! THEIR eyes are slanted!
Ah, so!

 

by edoggydog
7-15-05
From time-to-time, we here at "Groovy!" get PM's from new cartoonists requesting ideas on making humorous comics. I would like to offer one word of sage advice...
Groovy!
Just create, baby! Not everything you write will be funny. But, SOME of what you create will be funny. For example, I'd say that a THIRD of "Groovy!" is crap...
A third..?
Okay, okay... HALF!
Half..?

 

by edoggydog
7-15-05
...and, that's when I realized my lost puppy [*sniff*] wasn't coming back!
Groovy!
"Groovy"? That's cold, man!
If you think that's cold, just wait until panel three! Late...
S-s-s-snap!

 

by edoggydog
7-15-05
...so, then that's when my lost puppy found it's way home! Yayyyy!!
Groovy!
Speaking of finding it's way home... Do you have that twenty you owe me?
Sure! It's at the crib... Wait here and I'll go get it for you. Be right back!
Winter 2006
H-h-he ain't c-c-coming b-b-back!
Waffles!

 

by edoggydog
7-18-05
You looking for a date, honey? I can satisfy any desire you may have!
Groovy!
Now tell Rowanda what you want...
Hmmm... I guess I just want a little pussy...
Me, too! Mine's the size house!
Then, I'd better go grab my safety harness...

 

by edoggydog
7-18-05
...so, I said to the cop, "Why not? The room's already paid for!"
Groovy!
Then, when Johnny Law went down I me, he said, "Damn, you have a big vagina! Damn, you have a big vagina!"
Really? What did you say?
Well, I asked him why he said that twice, and he said he didn't...
Hmmm... Ever thought of renting your cootch out for storage space?

 

by edoggydog
7-18-05
...so, then I tell him to just keep my underwear as a souvenir!
Groovy!
Y'know, dude... You've seem way uptight lately. I think you should go hang out at a gay bar because gay men are so "free", and maybe you'll learn to relax...
Gay men are "free"? HA! The one I met last night charged me fifty bucks for a handjob!
I mean...

 

by edoggydog
7-18-05
Groovy!
"...after dialing 911, await by the roadside to flag down the emergency vehicle."
Um... You are going to rescue me, right? Maybe, just toss down a rope or something. Okay? My arms are getting kinda tired from hanging here...
"If, it is necessary to render assistance before help arrives, make sure you get a good stretch to warm up properly. It is advised, however, to wait for help-"
DUDE! I AM LOSING MY GRIP!! DON'T...KNOW...HOW... MUCH...LONGER...I... CAN...HOLD...ON- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!!
Shut up, Dude! I'm trying to read this!

 

by edoggydog
7-25-05
...so, then the dumb cocktail waitress asked me if I wanted to put my drink on my bill, and I said, "No. Put it on the doofus-across-the-bar's bill!" HELLO!!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... How was your vacation in Las Vegas?
Well... Like they say: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
Unless, of course, the condom was defective! Late...

 

by edoggydog
7-25-05
So... You met two women from the "Welcoming Committee" while in Vegas, and you're not sure if they were hookers? I can tell you a sure-fire sign if you'd like...
Groovy!
If, you here a "flapping" noise when she sits down, then woman's most likely a whore...
Ewwww!

 

by edoggydog
7-25-05
Welcome to Baskin-Robbins, dude...
Groovy!
What kind of icecream would you like today..?
Well, gee, I don't know... There's so many options! Chocolate chip sounds good, but Bubble Gum is my fave flave... And, there's always Cookie Dough. Hmmm... Let me think...
Two hours later...
D-d-dude! M-m-make up y-y-your f-f-fucking m-m-mind already! It's f-f-freezing b-b-back h-h-here!
Okay. okay... Relax! Now, there's always Chunky Monkey... Oh, wait! How about a Sherbet? Mmm, mmm, mmm! Or, maybe an icecream cake'll hit the spot...

 

by edoggydog
7-26-05
...then, I started crying, and mom spanked me! Which made me cry more. Which made mom spank me again. So, I cried more, and got spanked again... Man, I loves getting spanked!!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... How did you sleep last night?
Just like a baby! I woke up every two hours and cried. Then, I crapped my diapers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]
Fuck you!
Are you looking to be spanked?

 

by edoggydog
7-26-05
...so, I jumped on the scale again this morning, and still no increase in weight!
Groovy!
I think I'm using the wrong protein powder in my breakfast shake, and...and...
And what?
And, why do those two idiots from the county morgue keep staring at me?
Why, indeed!

Showing page 10.

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