All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
2-15-06
So why do you want to find Dave anyhow. And why would any woman be looking for him?
That's two damn fine questions in a row. let me think about it.

 

by BobRogers
2-15-06
Truth is, I want to buy the house Dave lives in and kick him out into the street like a stray dog so that his brother can have a place to smoke pot in peace.
And I need to know this because...
Plot exposition - which offers no plausable explanation for the duck at all.
Of course.

 

by BobRogers
2-16-06
Quack...
Yes. I know. It's a shame Bob disappeared shortly after that Amtrack train wreck. For all I know he might be in a hospital bed right now.
Quack?
Yes. I know. This is Dave's room and his computer. It's all full of spyware and viruses. And the window is nailed shot for some strange reason.
Quack!
But what's a girl to do? One must compute to live. MySpace couldn't survive without me...

 

by BobRogers
2-17-06
Sitting in front of the computer, talking on AIM with my friends, minding my own business and the lights go out. The computer goes off. The TV goes off. And now I am sitting in the dark and waiting...
Can't see my hand in front of my face. Can't hear anything. This must be how Helen Keller felt.
Stupid electric company.

 

by BobRogers
2-22-06
Did Bob forget to pay the electric bill?
Dude, for what? The whole planet?
Well how else would you expplain the entire web site being pitch black?
What am I, like Joe Scientist or something?
Well, it's noon and there's no sunlight. I'm open for explanation.
Um... eclipse?

 

by BobRogers
2-22-06
Dave did it.
Dave did what?
Whatever it was.
Whatever what was?
Whatever it was that Dave did.
So... it was Dave then eh?. i knew it all along.

 

by BobRogers
2-23-06
This has gone on long enough
What has?
You know perfectly well what. Picking on Dave is like eating jello with a knife.
That makes no sense.
Exactly.
?

 

by BobRogers
2-23-06
So why is it sister that we can see you and nothing else?
Must be my inner glow.
So maybe you can find somebody to switch the lights back on, so I don't have to lay here on the floor afraid to move?
So who killed the lights in the first place?
I'm absolutely clueless.

 

by BobRogers
2-23-06
This is stupid.
What is stupid?
Laying on the ground in the dark waiting for somebody to turn the lights back on is stupid.
So why are we doing it then?
Because we have to do what the cartoonist says or else...
Or else what? We end up laying on the ground waiting for someone to turn the stupid lights back on?

 

by BobRogers
2-26-06
The blackout is more than a week old with no end in sight
So there was this big explosion between Bob and Dave, right?
What's unusual about that? It's classical. Dave does something incredibly stupid that pisses off Bob, who then retaliates by doing something cruel that Dave hates and on and on it goes...
This time Dave has gone off the chart though. You know how much Bob hates being stolen from, right?
Yeah, been through that. Dave stole poems and blog content from Bob. He has the arrogance to tell him "if you don't want it stolen, don't post it on the net.
But Bob pretty much knows that Dave is an imbecile and a "Git," right? he's known it for years. What's the big surprise. Dave was the original prototype for retarded white boy. What's the new thing?
Bob just wants this loser to stop ripping off his cartoons an posting them in his 'tardo blog. Meanwhile, here we lie on the floor, talking in the dark. What is the meaning of life anyhow?

 

by BobRogers
2-27-06
Pssst
Huh?
Pssst The lights are coming back. Pass it on.
Wha?
Never mind.
I can SEE! It's a Miracle!

 

by BobRogers
2-28-06
You're back.
Not for long though.
Let me guess. Dave is blogging your cartoons and it pisses you off so you are about to do something extreme.
Already did.
Dare I ask?
Let's just say that his boss got an email with a new addition to his driving record added as an attachment.

 

by BobRogers
2-28-06
You emailed his boss? What's that going to accopmplish?
For one thing it will let ERAC know that one of their drivers is a psycho-monkey.
What if they don't care?
Then their customers are in a lot more danger than they could dream of. Would you rent a car from ERAC with Dave as a Courtesy Driver?
But he's not REALLY a driver, is he? He's just a glorified wash rack boy. They let him move cars once in a while, but first one he totals...
Good point. But the guy still has a right to know his employee's certifiable.

 

by BobRogers
2-28-06
Eek.
You're a thief Dave. A psycho Monkey and a thief. You have no moral foundation, no IQ to speak of and you are about to be homeless.
Eek?
Very soon you will be getting what you deserve. You will be fired from ERAC, be out on the street, no home, no computer, no family and no hope.
Eek!
And it will be my personal pleasure to watch you panhandling for dimes and pennies because you are too stupid to ask for a dollar.

 

by BobRogers
3-01-06
Hey man, You should let Dave slide on the whole content theft thing.
Why is that?
Because he's like, a little kid in a man's body. Ugly, smelly, repulsive, socially unacceptable. He can't help being a git.
And you're his friend, right?
Hell no! I'm just a walk-on character with a small speaking role. Some guy slipped me a fin.
Thought so.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-06
A shameless plug for http://www.howardshrine.net/view forum.php?f=32 Good luck typing THAT!
GOD will get you if you register on that Howard Stern Fan Forum, Bob
Why would you say such a thing, Sister? You know I never go anywhere looking for a fight.
But you know if you so much as print your name on a message Board dave will be all over you like a duck on bread crumbs.
I am just a peaceful guy who happens to enjoy Howard Stern sometimes. How can that be bad?
Quack!?!?

 

by BobRogers
3-03-06
You have the right to be silent. So be quiet. Shut up! Be still. Cease talking!
What do you mean I have the right to be silent? What do you mean shut up? You shut up you %#$%@$#&^% and tell your momma to shut up too.
Be QUIET! Shut UP! You are an IDIOT! What's the MATTER with you?
%#$%@$#&^% you. I am a HOWARD STERN FAN. Nobody makes me shut up.
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
3-04-06
In the aftermath of Dave's confrontation with the constabulary...
So then the cop did WHAT to Dave?
Pounded him into a pike of smoking ashes.
What did Bob do?
The only thing he could do after an angry cop beat Dave to a bloody pulp.
What was that?
Wrote a check for $500 to the Police Athletic League.

 

by BobRogers
3-05-06
Dave logs on to the Howard Strern Fan Forum looking for sympathy and a place to trash..
,,, so there's this stalker and his name is "Bob' but that isn't his name and he lives in California but not really...
Wait a minute. Something is definitely wrong. I'm not quite sure what it is...
Fresh Dave...
I'm not sure, but I think I'm not on Loretta's World anymore

 

by BobRogers
3-07-06
Have you seen Dave, English?
Um, not since he ran by with a knife weilding Serial Killer chasing him. Why do you want him, Amish dude?
I have a message for him from God.
Are you serious?
Yep. God is pretty pissed at Dave right now. Gabrial had to talk him out of smiting the git.
You know, we never have actually cleared up that whole smiting question. What the hell IS smiting anyhow?

 

by BobRogers
3-07-06
So why is God upset with Dave? It's not like he's done anything out of the ordinary.
Dave berated Bob for not swearing, calling him a "Christian" in a derogatory manner.
Umm hmm.
He destroyed an entire forum with obscenities, finally resorting to posting so much pronography that he overloaded their server, and has just gone totally psycho.
And you're thinking that this is somehow extraordinary? What you've just described is simply a day in the life...
Excuse me English, I gotta go hurl now.

 

by BobRogers
3-08-06
Pornspamming is just another one of Dave's cheap tricks. It's kind of like when a pig covers himself with mud to keep from becoming bacon.
Are you calling me a pig?
Now, Baconman, you know I was just making a metaphor.
You hurt my feelings all the same.
Well, you have a purpose in life. To be a crispy, succulant breakfast treat. Poor dave. his whole life is dedicated to being a pornspamming moron.
Well... pigs are pretty smart.

 

by BobRogers
3-09-06
So, Doc. Welcome . You are the first member of the Stern Fan Board to be immortalized as a Toon.
Thanks, Gargoyle. I might as well get right to it. Where's Dave. I need to stick this hypo in his ass.
Last I saw him, he was in the hallway, watching Amish Dude puke. He gets these strange urges.
'preciate that. I'm coming for you Dave and I have 500 miligrams of Sodium Penethol with your name on it.
Say, have you seen Dave? I got something for him.
Blecchhhhh. He just left. Blecchhhhhhhhh. *Blowing chunks* Blecchhhhhhhhhhhh

 

by BobRogers
3-10-06
What's your story Dave? Why have you spent the last two weeks making a collossal horse's ass out of yourself on the Stern Shrine?
Who the %$@34#$ wants to know? It's none of your business anyhow what I do.
I'm D Man. I have commented occasionally on some of your inane posts. I am laid back, unflappable and cool.
I tried to have sex with your sister.
My sister is 10 you PERVERT!
I wasn't actually successfull. Jeeze! Cantcha take a JOKE?

 

by BobRogers
3-10-06
You know, youcoyotes have a pretty simple life. No worrying what message board Dave is going to crash next. Just chase Road Runners all day.
No blogs to keep up. No toons to do daily. No foul mouuthed git to curse you out every hour....
Just the occasional tractor - trailer. that's all

 

by BobRogers
3-10-06
The newly dedicated JDPLVY Museum has many unique exhibits.
Behind me is "The Room Of Trashed Message Boards." It's full of souls Dave sucked right out of their bodies...
Hey MISTER. Can I talk to Dave on AIM?
You don't need AIM. He lives under the bridge at the edge of town.
Gee THANKS, Mister!

 

by BobRogers
3-10-06
So, God. Why DID you give Dave such a small penis?
So, you're blaming that on me, are you?
Well, you are all-seeing. Couldn't you have anticipated that giving dave a 3" schlong would create problems of self confidence?
You incorrectly assume I guve a rat's *snip* about Dave.
But wait! All men are your children. You love everybody, inclusing George Bush.
Yeah that's true, but Dave was created using DNA from a duck egg. Big error on the part of some lab tech.

 

by BobRogers
3-13-06
Butch is on Dave's trail. Jen (from Texas) opposes the plan.
Listen up Butch, because I am only going to tell you one time.
You can NOT kill Psycho Monkeys just because Bob says it's ok. It's NOT ok. OK?
Ummm. Killing ME is also not OK.

 

by BobRogers
3-13-06
Osama! I haven't seen you around for a while.
Been busy hassling infidels and getting dialysis treatments in Pakistan.
Dude, there's a 25 Million reward for you. Why are you here in the USA?
It's about Enterprise Rent A Car. It's stock has been dropping like a stone since Dave was hired...
Say no more. I understand. You want to kill him, right?
Actually, I want to congratulate him and give him a plaque naming him " Mr. White Bread Terrorist of the year, 2006"

 

by BobRogers
3-13-06
Dave argues with Bob over the presence (or lack thereof) of a door to his room...
I do SO have a door...
Anybody who says I don't is a ^%#$%@$ LIAR!
The fact that it has boards on it is completely beside the point.

 

by BobRogers
3-13-06
In the desert near Dave's house in PLVY, NY...
What are you going to do with that machine gun, you stupid kangaroo?
Are you going to SHOOT me? I am the mighty Dave, hero of Enterprise Rent A...
Ow.
Nice thing about trucks, mate. You never have to wait very long for one.

 

by BobRogers
3-14-06
The Oracle At Enterprise Predicts The Future.
I see wrecked cars in your future...
I see speeding tickets and unemployment.
Your boss doesn't love you.

 

by BobRogers
3-14-06
So, Osama. You've been living in a cave in Pakistan for the last 5 years, eh?
That is correct, infidel female upstart American swine.
And in all this time, bathing never crossed your mind?
I will bitch slap you with my autographed copy of the Koran, oh decadent non-burka wearing not entirely ugly female.
Nice thing about trucks in the fog. They never slow down. And you never have to wait very long for one.

 

by BobRogers
3-14-06
Don't think about it. Just do it.
Just drive to Pleasant Valley, find Dave's house, find dave in the room with no door and hit him in the face with a pizza
Hossenfeffer
This is gonna hurt...

 

by BobRogers
3-15-06
Confrontation near Pleasant Valley
Hossenfeffer
This is gonna hurt...
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
3-15-06
You hear that Chef just quit South Park?
I always thought he was a bit of a pedophile.
How can you say that? He never actually molested anyone.
He was an unmarried horny black man whose door was always open to 4th graders asking embarassing questions. What does that tell you?
Parker and Stone have a lot of room for revenge?
Exactamundo.

 

by BobRogers
3-15-06
So we're going to rip on Chef instead of ripping on Dave?
Not at all. Chef and Dave have a lot in common. They're both black, fat, hang around children, and are devout Scientologists.
You know what his response is going to be, right?
Who? Chef or Dave?

 

by BobRogers
3-15-06
Cripes! What the hell was that?
Dave's head just exploded.
WHAT? Why?
He read the last cartoon and the new title on this one.

 

by BobRogers
3-17-06
You're going to change the name of the strip to The Adventures of Psycho Dave?"
Why? You think I should shorten it to just "Psycho Dave?"
Nah. I just wondered if you had factored Dave's reaction to the new title.
Well, I don't really care what he thinks. to begin with. Plus he has been behaving like a "psycho' for a month now, so if the shoe fits... Where is he anyhow?
Over at the hospital getting his brains reinserted into his head. It exploded you know.
Yeah. that was messy.

 

by BobRogers
3-17-06
Sister Mary hasn't even noticed the picture on Bob's wall.
I strenuously object!
I know you do sister. To what do you object this day?
I strenuously object to the new name of this strip. I mean, come on! Hasn't the poor guy been ragged enough?
Let me think about that, sister.
Um.. No.

 

by BobRogers
3-19-06
I want you to take this bill to Dave. It's for 1495 incoherant posts on the Stern Shrine at $10 per post.
So Dave owes Stern Shrine $14,900? He is not going to take that well.
Tell me where Dave is. I have a present for him.
He's at home on the computer right now. Go on in. the door is unlocked.
Yoo hoo! Dave! I have something for you!

 

by BobRogers
3-19-06
Dave wasn't at home. I was just there. I have something to give him. How can I find him?
Sometimes he has these AIM conversations with U235 Radioactive, after which, he hides in the closet. Did you try the closet?
Dave, come out of the closet.
I can't believe you are rehashing that lame "South Park" joke.
What're you bitching ME out for? YOU are the head writer around this goldfish pond.

 

by BobRogers
3-20-06
Sister majored in philosophy.
Bob, are you familiar with the phrase, "A Bridge too far?"
Sure. It's a historical reference. It is a metaphor for ambitious overkill leading to conspicuous failure.
Well, that's where you are with this whole "Psycho Dave in the title" thing. You are kicking Dave when he is down.
You don't think that Dave has earned every word printed about him? His behavior shows no trace of humanity. Why be humane toward him?
For the same reason you are being cruel. Because you can.
Sister, your logic is impeccible. I will think about it and let you know what I decide.

 

by BobRogers
3-20-06
What have you decided Bob? Will you change the name back? Or will it remain "Psycho Dave?"
Well, Sister, I thought about it. Tried to see the issue from your point of view...
and . . .
On the Stern Shrine Forum, and live radio, Dave is having a complete psychotic breakdown. As long as he acts like a psycho, the title will be "Psycho Dave."
I will pray for you both.
I appreciate that Sister. Dave will not.

 

by BobRogers
3-21-06
I've been meaning to ask... What's so bad about Dave, anyhow? I mean, so he trashes a few hundred forums, swears like a psycho sailor. So what?
I'm sorry. You were looking for an actual answer, right?

 

by BobRogers
3-22-06
D Man chances across the elusive and mysterious I Am Watching
I noticed that you are pretty cynical where Sirus - um, I mean Dave is concerned. He really has left the forum, right?
Probably not. He uses the old "I am leaving" strategy whenever he sees he is not getting his way. Like a moth to a flame, or the Terminator - he'll be back.
I never saw someone so determined to commit social suicide. I was like he set out to make us hate his guts.
He's been that way since the lesbians punked him on Usenet.
Yeah. I read about that. He pretended to be a lesbian to get a date with a lesbian. Didn't he think she would notice the penis?
It's that small that he thought she would think it was a clitoris.

 

by BobRogers
3-23-06
I can't believe that idiot Dave tried to hijack your cartoons again today. What did you tell him about stealing content from you?
Doesn't matter. He's too stupid to understand even the most basic of english.
So what are you going to do?
Thought I'd start with two, maybe 3 viruses. Gave them to him when he clicked on the sleeper photo I plugged into his blog.
Sweet. What does it do?
It keylogs his FTP program and gives me the password to his blog, his web site and his myspace. Big surprises are in store for him in the weeks to come.

 

by BobRogers
3-24-06
Cthulhu, Master of the highest evils drops by for a chat...
Cthulhu, Master of the Dark Planes. Haven't seen you for a really long time. What's shaking dude?
x EC2G6=65 7C@> E96 @E96C D:56 @7 E96 4FCE2:? 36EH66? =:76 2?5 562E9 E@ E@E2==J 7F4< H:E9 Dave.
Dude. In English for those of our readers who don't speak High D'harran
I have come to steal Dave's soul and leave him a lifeless husk of a man.
Dude. He has no soul and is already a lifeless husk of a man.
Oh well. I'll just nick on down to the Dairy Queen then and have a 'nanna Split. Loves the cherries I do.

 

by BobRogers
3-25-06
Bluster is as bluster does...
I quit! I'm not going to blog anymore because people say bad things about me, like i am a virgin and stuff.
And furthermore I DEMAND an apology from all the people I have cursed out and offended. It's only right.
And if that &^#%% Easter bunny comes around I will curse him out as well because I am Albert, King of MORONS! God Save The King!

 

by BobRogers
3-26-06
I HATE you Bob. You ruined my message board trashing. You Blog about me. You make fun of me using my own MP3's...
So what's your point?
i just want you to die, die die... Hold up. Where's your wheelchair? I thought you couldn't walk.
I never said I couldn't walk.
I definitely know which side of the road to stand on when the truck is coming though.

Showing page 11.

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