All comics by HCRoyall

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by HCRoyall
10-12-05
I don't think anyone can truly understand the shame and indignity imposed upon the African slaves before the American Civil War.
Hurry your ass up, Scruffy! Those women aren't going to come to me on their own! Hurry up or I'll whip you again!
Except me.

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
This girl last night asked me for some foreplay.
What a pervert.

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
So what have you brought me today, Scruffy?
Woof.
Looks a little underripe, but I'll just keep her in the basement until she matures.

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock is ticking.
Oh, well there's a simple solution for that.
Really?
All you need is a gun, some garbage bags, and a whole lot of bleach.

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
LOOK YE UPON THIS MIGHTY WORK AND DESPAIR!
Frank, honey, it's just a mailbox...

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
LOOK YE UPON THIS MIGHTY WORK AND DESPAIR!
Is that as big as it gets?

 

by HCRoyall
10-12-05
Bill Gates, one of the richest men on the planet.
Satan, the Lord of all that is Evil.
Any Questions?
Hiya! Looks like you're trying to write a letter!
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

by HCRoyall
10-13-05
Is this because I'm black?
Yes?

 

by HCRoyall
10-13-05
My maternal clock is ticking.
I'm sorry?

 

by HCRoyall
10-14-05
LOOK YE UPON THESE MIGHTY WORKS AND DESPAIR!
No thanks?

 

I TOLD you to use a condom.
The prize was worth the odds.
by HCRoyall, 10-15-05

 

by HCRoyall
10-15-05
I work at the zoo, actually. Part of my job is to masturbate the elephants for artificial insemination samples.
How strangely erotic...
Thank you?

 

by HCRoyall
10-15-05
I vant to suck your blood!
I have AIDs.
So?

 

by HCRoyall
10-17-05
What if "nigger" meant felching?

 

by HCRoyall
10-17-05
Your name is Hunter? Do you Hunt? Royal Hunter? Do you work for a king?
I fucking HATE you.

 

by HCRoyall
10-17-05
Dude! Your middle name is Campbell? Like the soup?
Die.

 

by HCRoyall
10-18-05
Look, umm... you're nice and all...
But I really don't date outside my own species...
This is because I'm black, isn't it?

 

by HCRoyall
10-18-05
For the first time since his creation, TOBOR felt the pangs of performance anxiety...

 

-
by HCRoyall
10-18-05
Being a physician is all about professionalism and the desire to save lives. It requires a lot of skill, time, and finesse.
Dr. Worthington! Paging Dr. Worthington! You are needed immediately in surgery!
Whoa! Hold on, I'll be right back!
I just can't figure out why they keep dying on me... So, what were we talking about again?

 

by HCRoyall
10-19-05
Seriously dude. Stare at me all you want, but I'm not going to spontaneously turn gay.

 

by HCRoyall
10-19-05
Apparently there IS a law against interspecies, homosexual marriages while in prison for rape.

 

by HCRoyall
10-19-05
And THAT, children, is why you shouldn't play "Doctor".

 

by HCRoyall
10-20-05
I'm just kicking myself for signing that re-enlistment contract.
I can help you get out real easy, man.
Whoa, really?
Shit yeah. You know how much disability I'm getting for this sushi mitten here?

 

by HCRoyall
10-20-05
Note to self: Buying an 84 inch tv does me no good if I can't pay my cable bill...

 

by HCRoyall
10-20-05
The Mother will have the right to interrupt you every five minutes, regardless of what you're doing...
I need you to mow the lawn.
Okay Mom. I'll do it in an hour, the grass is wet and it'll clog up the mower deck.
Five minutes later...
I thought I asked you to mow the lawn.
Yeah, and I said I'd do it in a hour after the grass dried a bit. Right now I'm trying to finish my term paper.
Five minutes later...
I'm tired of you wasting time on that computer! ::pulls plug:: Go mow the lawn!
AAAAAARRRRGH! I just spent three hours on that paper and you pulled the plug right as I was saving!

 

by HCRoyall
10-21-05
Ok, so your problem might be a little more serious than I thought...

 

by HCRoyall
10-21-05
Cap'n! We're detectin' hostiles! We need ta get ya out o' there!
Belay that, Mr. Scott! I have everything under control.
So, what say you slip into something more comfortable?
How's this, loverboy?
Oh dear GOD! SCOTTIE! BEAM ME UP! BEAM ME UP!!

 

You still suck, Gene.
by HCRoyall, 10-21-05

 

by HCRoyall
10-21-05
Those new guys creep me out for some reason...

 

Silly rabbit? Silly Rabbit?! I'LL SHOW YOU A SILLY RABBIT!! Trix are for ME, mother fucker!!
by HCRoyall, 10-21-05

 

-
by HCRoyall
10-21-05
Ah, TOBOR. We have to talk.
Can't this wait? TOBOR has full schedule of forceful and unlubricated buttsex.
No TOBOR, it can't wait. You're being replaced.
TOBOR cannot be replaced! TOBOR is top of the line! Show TOBOR this upstart so TOBOR can manrape him into submission!
Hi.
NOOOOOOOO!!!

 

by HCRoyall
10-22-05
Whp would've thought a squirt gun that fires strawberry jam would be so much fun?

 

by HCRoyall
10-24-05
Well, sir, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, we couldn't save your wife.
The good news is she was delicious.

 

by HCRoyall
10-26-05
You know, your comics really inspired me when I first joined, bunnerabb.
Well thank you.
Just one question though.
Shoot.
Did you ever want to play 'Phantom of the Opera' and 'accidentally' drop a sandbag on on of the actors on stage?
I neither confirm nor deny any such allegations...

 

by HCRoyall
10-26-05
So this is the Matrix, huh?
Yep.
It's cool and all but...
Yeah?
Why do we look like this?
Somebody found a cheat code.

 

by HCRoyall
10-27-05
I'm Abe Vigoda, and I'm here campaigning for the US Presidency. Why? Because I'm Abe Vigoda, and I make things better.
Take this youngster here. If not for me, this child and hundreds of other like her would be starving in the streets, with no one to care for them and no families to love them.
I suck on the hose again now?
Ha ha! Kids say the darndest things! NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE!

 

Iraq has WMDs.
by HCRoyall, 10-27-05

 

by HCRoyall
10-29-05
Hello, Neighbor lady! Can I ask you a favor?
Sure!
Mommy says I can't keep Mr. Bun anymore but I don' wanna give him to the shelter. Will you adopt him?
Let me see...
Come on lady, I'm clean and the chow's cheaper than you think.
Somehow... I think not.

 

by HCRoyall
10-29-05
I don't know about this...
It'll be great, I promise.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
But all those other guys you set me up with turned out to be weirdos.
This guy's different. Oh! That must be him!
Would you believe it's Laundry Day?
Somehow... I think not...

 

Defeat Vader you must. Save you not, can rotor turbines.
What the fuck are you talking about?
by HCRoyall, 10-31-05

 

by HCRoyall
10-31-05
Oh, what a scary costume! Are you supposed to be the Grim Reaper?
YES...
Well, what would you like? A Snickers, Butterfinger, or Babe Ruth?
I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL TO A PLACE BEYOND ALL SALVATION, RULED BY FOOLS AND THE CAUSE OF UNTOLD SUFFERING.
The Bush Administration?

 

by HCRoyall
11-01-05
Hot alien women here, there are not. Great Wisdom, there is. Bad Hairpiece, you have.
Dammit... Spock! What... is it?!
Undetermined, Captain. Preliminary scans reveal the creature is older than would be considered possible.

 

Teach you I cannot. Too much anger in you, I sense.
This is because I'm Black, isn't it?
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

Screen calls, you must. A skill that is handy, avoiding telemarketers is.
What does that have to do with using the Force?
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

The path to the Dark Side, Drinking is.
So THAT explains the cool finger lightning and choking-people trick!
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

Sleep with me, You must.
That's your answer for EVERYTHING!
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

This is some great beer!
I know! You turned into a hot chick after two of them! Usually it takes ten to fifteen!
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

Clouded, the future is. See it clearly, I cannot.
I speak over six million languages and dialects, and even I can't understand what the fuck you're saying.
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

 

by HCRoyall
11-01-05
Oh man! What is this gook doing here?
Can someone help me get this gook off my hands? This gook is really starting to gross me out. I think I'm going to have to scrub to get the grossness off.

 

Who do I have to screw to get some decent Romulan Ale around here?
Score!
by HCRoyall, 11-01-05

Showing page 11.

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