All comics by mandingo

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by mandingo
1-03-06
what are you doing, orderly??
i'm raping the coma victims, doctor
why!
why? i... don't know. i've never really thought about...
...the retard ward! or don't you like things squirming around on your dick and squealing? jesus man, thats like first year med school: rape the retards, stick your dick in the mouths of the comatosed
oh who am i kidding! i'm just not doctor material!

 

by mandingo
1-04-06
nigger passes to nigger. oh! nigger steals it! he passes to nigger, nigger puts up a shot, blocked by that big nigger! 4 niggers on 1 fast break! to nigger! back to nigger! who slams it home!
and there's the buzzer! final score: Lakers: 98, Bulls: 93! player of the game: Luke Walton. Luke, you might know, Len, just became the league's first million dollar player
well he does set a mighty fine pick, Rog

 

by mandingo
1-04-06
hi, would you like to cybersex?
thanks, but that's not really my thing. too shy
and that's when he cyberraped me
with your smiley emoticons and Angelina Jolie avatar you were all but asking for it

 

by mandingo
1-05-06
ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and members of the press -- welcome to the FDA Research Center. i'm sure you've all heard the rumors that we've discovered the cure for Herpes Simplex 8
as you know, Herpes Simplex 8 is particularly devastating to AIDS patients and has even been associated with Kaposi’s Sarcoma. this is why the cure for Herpes Simplex 8 is so important!
maybe they'll find it someday. until then, let's lighten up about it, you grumpy gusses! and to that end, i'd like to introduce you to the FDA's new mascot, "Herpes Simplex 8)"
i'm a shark!

 

by mandingo
1-05-06
need a refill, Russ?
better not. i'm meeting a girl from the internet for the first time so i don't want to get too wasted
wow, internet dating. i've heard some horror stories. you worried?
nah, that's what's nice about being bisexual
it doesn't matter if she turns out to be a guy

 

when Israel was on Egypt's lan...
l3t mi p33ps g0 l00l
by mandingo, 1-10-06

 

by mandingo
1-11-06
hey, Sarcasto, you want to go see King Kong with me?
sure, i'm just DYING to see a movie about some dumb monkey
it's supposed to be good
it's crap. your suggestion is crap. i've had 10 people come up to me who suggested a movie and yours is by far the crappiest of the crap
someone love me.

 

by mandingo
1-11-06
wow, Jesus, did you really die for our sins? to wash us clean so we'd be worthy of god's kingdom?
yup
you allowed yourself to be tortured? allowed yourself to die a horribly painful death? all for us?
yup
how can we ever repay you?
eat me.

 

by mandingo
1-20-06
excuse me, i don't mean to be too forward, but you have a great body. how about i buy you a drink, take you home, and we make love. after that, all i can do is hope that i don't fall in love with you
i never refuse to take a drink-under any circumstances. but no sex. you take home a new girl each night. "with what people he keeps company," they say. i bet you've even named your penis, haven't you?
of course not
i leave that to historians

 

by mandingo
1-20-06
detective, remember that case last week where the guy flipped out and sexually assaulted that redhead after she refused his advances?
yes.
i'm pleased to report we found a witness who can finger the perp for us
well you can stop being pleased, officer
two wrongs don't make a right

 

by mandingo
1-24-06
greetings people of the earth, i am Ganon Xymed, but you may call me CONQUEROR GANON XYMED, RULER OF MANKIND!!!
pardon?
in about 15 minutes, that is. after our surprise attack.

 

by mandingo
1-30-06
RUN!!! HURRY UP!!! RUN!!!
what's wrong mom? why'd you make me run?
did you see that van trailing behind you??? it's the same color as the one reported trying to kidnap that little girl yesterday!!
i can't believe you pussed out and didn't grab him just cause his mom was watching
says the man who was beaten unconscious by a seven-year-old girl wielding a Hello Kitty backpack. speaking of which... did you remember to cancel your credit cards?

 

by mandingo
2-16-06
hey, Jesus, looks like you won that bet. my team lost.
in the beginning, there was the word and the word was .227. and the Dodgers did look upon the word, and saw it good, and from hence the All Star break did bat the word with runners in scoring position
you're a real dick sometimes, Jesus

 

by mandingo
2-21-06
greetings, people of the earth
GREETINGS
you look lovely tonight
THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY
6 months later...
people of the earth, your schnookums is home... ...! ...PEOPLE OF THE EARTH! ... AND MY OWN BROTHER!!
IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
knock knock
who's there?
banana
i heard this joke when i was 3
Ba. Na. Na.
*sigh* ... banana who?

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
knock knock
who's there?
mango
mango? mango who?

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
mango get me a banana, i'm dying here!

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
you're there aren't you?
*CLICK*

 

and thus the mango ascended to power over the orange in the land of fruit vegetable dog chow. THE END! now get out of those wet things and get to bed. i'll be right there to tuck it in, Suzy.
it's Jason, Mr. Vigoda. i'm a boy, remember?... Mr. Vigoda?... am i gonna see my family again?
by mandingo, 3-02-06

 

mangoo
mangoo? mangoo on who?
by mandingo, 3-02-06

 

banged that sound girl. turned on the charm, "i'm not an actor but i play one on tv." never invite a blond into your house though. she nearly burnt it down. thought you had to preheat a microwave oven
uh, Fred? we're rolling. and that blond? that's the cameraman's wife. you remember the cameraman, right? big 400-pound blackbelt in judo, 3 feet to your right and closing?
by mandingo, 3-02-06

 

by mandingo
3-02-06
you're there aren't you?
*CLICK*
DON CORNHOLEON IS NOT PLEASED!!!
i think you're looking for the Godfather IV set, 3 doors down
how can i be expected to work with such AMATEURS! jason, phillipe, to my trailer! i need a sauna!

 

by mandingo
3-06-06
you're the funniest person on stripcreator.
yes. yes, i know.
i have procreated
i'll bury it
no, fuckface, its 3 to 1 dilithium crystal to chloride
my human half wants you inside me

 

by mandingo
3-06-06
hello, George. feeling any better today?
i'm not George, i'm Al Roker
no, George, you're not. you're George Wilkins, a mental patient at St. Jude's hospital. you suffer from borderline schizophrenia and delusions of grandeur, both of which skew your sense of reality
the next day...
any improvement in my husband's condition, doctor?
i'm afraid not. in fact just yesterday he had the gall to diagnose the inimitable Al Roker

 

by mandingo
3-07-06
you know dad, there's two types of people in the world. those who wait for the answer to come to them
AND?

 

by mandingo
3-08-06
wait! what are you doing!........
i think i've got it now! TO THE FUTURE!
oh, there you are
YES! i've done it! this is comic 6 of the series! the future!
i need you to wax my bikini line again
i'm getting an inkling that comics 2 through 5 didn't go in the "me" column

 

by mandingo
3-09-06
you tell me where she is or by god, i'll jump on your head until you're flat!
you can't jump on my head, you dumb wop. see the horns?
[][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][]
hmm, what do we have here?
FLOWER POWER!!!!!!!

 

by mandingo
3-09-06
did you just use something that happened to you in Mario Brothers?
i'm not gonna lie to you, biped... so... maybe
MARIO BROTHERS ISN'T YOUR LIFE!!! USE SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN YOUR LIFE!! SHOW ME SOMETHING THROUGH YOUR OWN EYES!! GET IT??? YOUR OWN EYES!!
got it, my delicate little bipetal
Batsy and i velcome you to Castle Vania
what's with the whip?

 

by mandingo
3-11-06
♫ this little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine. this little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine. this little light of mine, i'm REALLY gonna let it shine ♫
*ahem*
well go, then
♫ LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE!!! ♫

 

well good morning, Mr. Go All Night. rooooowr
remember his name, remember his name, remember his name
by mandingo, 3-11-06

 

by mandingo
3-11-06
RAAAAAAAAWWRR!! TOBOR WILL COR
so what type of sex are you into, stud?
....... HA ..... HAHA ....... HAHAHA! ......... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
let's just cuddle

 

by mandingo
3-11-06
hello?
can you hear me now?
yeah
GOOD! ... GOD! ...
OH FUCK MY EYES ARE ON FIRE AND I AM FEELING THE PAIN OF HAVING MY EYES ON FIRE CAUSE THEY'RE ON FIRE MY EYES ARE OH GOD THE PAIN I'M GOING TO FEEL THIS TERRIBLE PAIN THEN DIE ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by mandingo
3-12-06
how uncomfortable! what kind of sick fuck designs a granny ensemble around a g string??
give me that purse, old lady.
out of my way, punk. i've got business to attend to
i'll get out of your way just as soon as you give me that purse or make me. your choice.
75 million years earlier...
GRAAAAAARRRRRRRRWLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
i should stop offering a choice

 

by mandingo
3-27-06
So I see under "References" you listed Jesus.
Is that a problem?
we're all devil-worshipping infant rapers here
what's the pay?

 

by mandingo
4-01-06
i greet your people with all the respect they deserve
oomboog oot akka launy ooo
i'm surprised she's still translating for him after the breakup
my balls taste of vanilla

 

by mandingo
4-09-06
YOU UNORIGINAL 12-YEAR-OLD TROLL!
YOU CRANKY SHEEPHERDING BITCH!
dear lord! what have we done???
which time? ... that last position i call the Kaenash Squish

 

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!
by mandingo, 4-15-06

 

by mandingo
4-24-06
hello, joan. it's been a long time.
oh my god, roger. it's been ages. you look... great
and you are beautiful as always. i can only hope some violent emanation the title of this comic foreshadows the existence of doesn't ruin this moment for us
oh i doubt...
GET THE FUCK OVER HERE, BITCH! YOU'RE MY WIFE NOT HIS!

 

by mandingo
6-30-06
bit of overkill
SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID

 

by mandingo
7-06-06
ROOOOOOOOOOOWRRR!!! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
i'm sure we all appreciate Joe's spirit, but show of hands for that open screen door over there?

 

by mandingo
7-06-06
we've secretly replaced this fat kid's thermos full of hot chocolate with a severe beating from a large Phillipian man.
let's watch...
"i'll trade you my pean budder an jel..¡Al INFIERNO CON SU P B Y J!"
oooooo! that ain't growing back

 

by mandingo
7-18-06
THE JIG IS UP, GREENBEAN! TELL ME WHERE YOU HID THE PAINTINGS OR SUFFER MY WRATH!
never, steak. i'll die before i see those masterpieces in your villainous hands.
sam, stop anthropomorphizing your food and eat
i told you film noir wouldn't save us.
WHAT A CUNT!

 

by mandingo
7-18-06
I lov’d Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers could not, with all their quantity of love, make up my sum.
O, he is mad, Laertes!
look, i'll make you a deal - eat that sucky Hamlet and you don't even have to finish your greenbeans
sucky Hamlet?! madam, i'll have you know i once UNDERSTUDIED Hamlet during summer stock at GREYHOUND COMMUNITY THEATER!
and he'd have gone on too if the lead hadn't found that free clinic at the last minute!

 

by mandingo
7-18-06
Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend...
look away. *sniff* look away
mommy, this steak tastes funny
aww, i thought you'd like korean food
korean food? but that would mean you're...
REBORN!

 

by mandingo
7-19-06
♫ ...and Lord of Lords♫
♫ forever and ever HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH!♫
that was great, sam! Father Michaels would like to see you about joining the adult choir! he's back in his living quarters

 

by mandingo
7-19-06
hey, Bill, guess who came out of the closet today?
you better have had a search warrant!
i mean "who?"

 

by mandingo
7-21-06
ASTEROID--now playing in theaters everywhere--what if the only thing standing between the earth and an asteroid barrelling toward it is a single man?
i've gotta see that!
it's starting!
there's the asteroid!
there's the man!
there's the credits.

 

by mandingo
7-24-06
my nipples are hard for you, long ear
no computer, this is incorrect. i said run Spockrotica Simulation 814. this is 812
ruff ruff!
no computer, this is Spockrotica 840 not 814. let's never speak of it again. i said 814. eight. one. four.
Spock, there you are! these damn computer glitches have had me running around the ship all day! stop playing around on the holodeck and take over for me on the bridge, i need to lay down awhile!
thank you, computer. half illumination, tub of warm butter

Showing page 11.

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