All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
5-05-06
Under the sea and not a mermaid in sight...
Ya KNOW. I am pretty sick of people running over me with stuff.
That's why you get the big bux Dave.
WHAT? You don't pay me to be in this stupid cartoon. All you do is ABUSE me and RUN OVER me with trucks and submarines and ...
Grrr.
Japanese Ocean Going Deep Draft Oil Tankers?

 

by BobRogers
5-07-06
So, this is strip number 150, eh? Whenever you reach milestone numbers like this things usually take a bizarre turn.
Well, you know I like to keep things fresh.
Have you considered that maybe what you need are some fresh new characters?
Yeah. I thought about that. I'm holding auditions over at the Little Theater later at noon.
I'm here for the comic strip audition.
Interesting character you hae there. Kinda unidimensional though, dontcha think?

 

by BobRogers
5-07-06
Over at the theater, the auditions haven't started yet ...
What do you mean unidimensional? Do you always judge a book by its cover, Mr. I got a sword and a black costume?
Seriously. I can perform multiple roles against all kinds of backgrounds. What can you do?
I can recover documents from a safe in a villian's office. I can... um get arrested. I can hit Dave with a crowbar. I'm unconventional.
Good decision, walking away. I own this job.

 

by BobRogers
5-07-06
I don't understand this. I am really very well known for my cocky confidence. So why am I out here in the hallway talking to myself?
I am a better fit for this strip than some stupid burglar. Surely Bob must realize that or he wouldn't be dedicating 3 panels to ninja angst.
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
5-09-06
Wait just a minute. Abe Vagoda was never on Star Trek! how could you just "beam in" like that?
Comic strip physics, of course. You just rotate the gravitons counterclockwise.
Alright Abe Vagoda. Explain why you are here at the auditions for new characters for this strip.
That's easy. Plot exposition. I've already passed my own audition and now it's your turn.
What the #### are you talking about, Abe Vagoda?
Your job is to rescue Dave from the bottom of the sea where he seems to be trapped in a never ending series of hallucinations.

 

by BobRogers
5-09-06
Super ninja and Abe vagoda are discussing
Why would I rescue Dave? I don't even LIKE Dave.
Because it is essential to the plot of this cartoon strip that Dave not die. GET it?
Oh. Ok. I see. I am working in a few test bits to see if people like my character.
Word up.
I have an idea. Why don't I go and rescue Dave and then we can discuss this further after he is safe.
I will be in my office, just down the hall when you return.

 

by BobRogers
5-09-06
Captain Redbeard, good to see you. We haven't worked together since that weird gay strip that whatshisname, Ricky Racoon did a year ago.
Yar! Howya been? Good to see you again.
Still got you talking in rhymes eh? That must suck.
Yar, sucks it do. How can I help you?
Can you take me to where Dave is? I have orders to retrieve him.
Yar, follow me. He fell into the sea.

 

by BobRogers
5-10-06
Well Dave, you have held your breath for almost 8 minutes. That's pretty respectable.
GLRG
Enough fooling around. You are needed back in town.
GLRG?
It isn't safe around here with all these giant blue whales swimming at breakneck speed.
Glrg. (sigh).

 

by BobRogers
5-10-06
So after the giant blue whale splatted Dave you brought him back here before anything else could splat him again
Yep. Locked him in the basement over at the Nuclear Power Plant so he couldn't get into any more trouble.
Ummm. The Nuclear Power Plant doesn't have a basement....
Uh oh!
Well. It's not like we haven't been in the dark before.

 

by BobRogers
5-11-06
Everything went black for a half hour or so and now everything's day-glow green. What gives?
The Ninja locked Dave in the control room at the Nuclear Power Plant. The resulting accident irradiated the entire planet.
All I did was push 3 buttons, move one lever an log onto SternShrine message Board from the computer. So HOW is this MY Fault.
I am a pile of radioactive ash. What do I know about it?
Bob types on AIM...
There was no explosion or anything. Just this green glow everywhere. Hang on. Somebody just came in.
Eep.

 

by BobRogers
5-12-06
Enquiring minds ask M. Williams
So tell me. What's up with these cartoons? How or why does Bob do this?
Well, Mr Hobbes, Bob chooses a character from a menu and adds dialog. Its so simple an infant can do it. Everyone but Dave.
Dave - You mean SirusFan. What's so different about him?
Got a decade?
Damn! Did I just get preempted from the first two panels of my OWN COMIC STRIP?
eep.

 

by BobRogers
5-14-06
Bob continues on AIM...
... so this monkey astronaut wanders through like it was a common thing, and in the meantime Dave has somehow managed to irradiate the whole world from inside the power plant...
I could fix that you know.
Ok you have my attention. fix what?
i can fix what Dave did in the power plant. I know exactly what to do. It'll cost you $5000 though.
$5000? Are you INSANE?
You've never hired a plumber before, I'm guessing.

 

by BobRogers
5-16-06
There. You see. We're in th dark again. Dave must have found the right button.
Umm hmmm
And then again, perhaps not

 

by BobRogers
5-16-06
Dave's finger on the wrong button has plunged loretta's World into total thermonuclear holocaust...
So this is the end?
Yep.
The actual end or the beginning of the end?
The latter.
So you're going to drag it out?
Of course. it's Sweeps Week and this is the season finale. We start reruns next week.

 

by BobRogers
5-17-06
God is looking down over Loretta's World and doesn't like what he sees...
Two nuclear holocausts within 6 months of each other, Bob? What kind of world custodian are you?
Umm. The VOGONS accidentally cleared a path for an intersteller bypass and ...
Excuse me? All seeing, all knowing Deity here. Now cut the crap.
All right. truth is, some newbie locked Dave in the control room of a nuclear power plant thinking it was a basement. 1 button later - Boom.
Well, you've painted yourself into a storyline corner this time. What are you going to do?
Go to Disney World for a vacation?

 

by BobRogers
5-18-06
De Ja Vu.
What do you mean?
I mean, here we sit again with no background, in between comic strips, backstage as it were, waiting for you to decide what you are going to do.
Yeah, I kinda get your point. I'm really torn about thia one. Dave was a sort of one-trick pony, an easy joke. Question is can I toon without picking on Dave?
Would you want to?
Excellent point Kemo Sabe.

 

by BobRogers
5-18-06
So have you decided on a theme for the new strip yet?
Nope. I'm stalling. regardless of the strip name, the web site will still be Loretta's world.
You could do a takeoff on that SternShrine Forum that you hang out on. There are enough characters there to send to the Chicago Sun.
True. Or I could take over the star spot from Dave and have some adventures of my own. Maybe I could rip off that TV show about Kerma. You know, "My Name Is Bob."
I can see that lasting 30 panels.
Yeah. You're right. An we still need a fall guy. But who?

 

by BobRogers
5-18-06
You've gotten some laughs off Star Trek in the past. How about a Space Trek Adventure?
Nah. That's good for a 3 strip bit. But it wears out because of limited characters.
You see where all this indecision is taking you, right?
Um. No. Where.
Straight to boredom. People are losing interest in this dry intellectual debate. They want action and they want it now.
Speeding golf cart. Cheap but effective.

 

by BobRogers
5-18-06
It's only fitting that we ended Loretta's World on a pratfall.
For the sake of PETA and other Animal rights activists, you should know that no animals were harmed in the making of this strip.
I am glad that Bob has stopped all this disharmony an rude joking. Although I kind of liked being a nun.
I think I was totally underutilized. I talked to the union about it and they said, "Get over it crybaby." So I killed them all.
the strip ENDS a week aftermy audition? That SUCKS!
You bet your ass I am getting the last word.

 

by BobRogers
5-21-06
A visitor comes to Bob's studio.
I'm a Lawyer from here on behalf of fans of www.LorettasWorld.info. I've been sent over here to find out the name of the new cartoon strip.
And what makes you believe there is going to be a new cartoon strip?
Well, for openers, you paid for the domain name for an entire year.
Ok. I'll give you that. What else?
You are as addicted to tooning as Dave is to message board feces throwing.
Well you got me there. Let's discuss it further. We can't really set the scene properly in only 3 panels.

 

by BobRogers
5-21-06
A lawyer representing fans of Loretta's World is visiting Bob...
So this is the second prologue strip in the new series, right?
OK, you got me. I am still going to produce toons for a while longer... Maybe until the end of the year anyhow.
Why did you end Loretta's World, anyhow? That was not bad and everybody liked it...
Eccept, of course, Dave, himself.
And that maters because...
Despite his many, many many MANY flaws, Dave is a person and he didn't seem to be having any fun.

 

by BobRogers
5-21-06
You characatured dozens of real-life people in Loretta's World and only Dave objected. Why kill a good thing just for him - especially the way he has been acting lately?
Well, these things just write themselves a lot of the time. I am as much along for the ride as the readers. My creative mind isn't always in touch with real-time.
Got burnt out?
yep.
So what's the verdict then? Are you quitting and shuttering the site?
Nah. You'd be surprised what a week in Orlando can do for you. I am told I will return a new man. Just watch for the new series coming soon to Lorettasworld.info.

 

by BobRogers
5-22-06
I guess the question still stands for lack of an answer. Are you going to start another series and if so, when?
OK. You got me. The answer is yes. And it will start on Memorial Day Weekend. I will post the first three before I take off for Florida to see my brother.
Right. Answers at last. All this foreshadowing makes my head hurt.
How can that be? You're a Lawyer. Foreshadow is your middle name.
Actually, it's Irwin.
Man, I wouldn't be spreading THAT around, were I you.

 

by BobRogers
5-23-06
Look Bob. I have been standing here through nore than a dozen panels now, and the readers have been here every step of the way as well.
You're right Irwin. You deserve an answer. The new comic strip will be about me and my friends.
DUDE! the OLD comic strip was about you and your friends, as has been every strip you EVER did!
True enough, but the new strip will have more action and a twist of fate. Notice the road?
Road...?
Some things will stay the same and other things will be different. The new strip starts Friday

 

by BobRogers
5-24-06
Work, work, work. I build universes and Bob blows them up. A diety's work is never done.
Building a cosmos is a lot like formatting a computer hard drive. I just say "The Word" and "badda BING!" Physics does the rest
Hold up. Who in the blue blazes are you and why are you out here in the void?
I am the ghost of Loretta's World, blown up before it's time. I am here to haunt the new tooniverse and provide occasional plot exposition.
Oi Vey! And just exactly whose bright idea was this?
Union contract. Cartoon Character Local 248. I had a holdover clause.

 

by BobRogers
5-26-06
Ahem. OK. What shall I call you then?
Since I am all that's left of Loretta's World, everyone may call me Loretta.
Ok, Loretta. Would you mind taking a powder? I'm kinda busy creating a universe here.
No problemo, omnipotent dude. See you later.
Ok then. Something for Bob to deal with. Let's see now... Oh, yeah. Let there be light!
I think, therefore I am.

 

by BobRogers
5-29-06
7 days after the previous strip...
OK, Bob. The new Tooniverse is ready. But there are a few things we need to discuss before handing over the keys.
OK. Fire away.
First of all, the Tooniverse is actually sentient. I accidentally infused it with self-awareness and an IQ of 450.
I can only say, WOW. What else?
The previous Tooniverse also seems to have acquired sentience and now currently resides within the present one. It's name is Loretta.
I am thinking I should be very afraid.

 

by BobRogers
5-29-06
It's not as bad as you think it is. Loretta is a ghost and the Tooniverse probably won't get involved with the day to day.
That makes me feel a little better. What about the cast?
Well, this time around I am advising you to leave Dave on the shelf. He has been drooling all over the SternShrine and it isn't terribly funny.
Any other limitations?
Well, I'd lay off Bush too. No use kicking a guy on the ground.
Gotcha.

 

by BobRogers
5-30-06
Our strip begins in earnest...
De Ja Vu. Here I sit once more with no background, no script and no clue what's going on.
Um... Bob. Lose the road. It's illogical even in cartoon physics for me to be on a bench in the road.
Thank you. You have no idea how nervous that damn highway makes me.
Dude. Good entrance though, huh?

 

by BobRogers
5-31-06
J. Gargoyle visits the church under extreme stress...
I am completely broken up Sister Mary. I am at wit's end. I don't know how I can keep on living after hearing the news.
What could possibly get you this upset. Tell me about it.
I just found out that BATWOMAN is a lesbian. One of my favorite DC Comics characters is a DYKE!
Now James. It's not the end of the world. Other famous people have come out of the closet and revealed their true nature.
How would you feel if Google told you the Pope's not Catholic?
Wow. You're right. That would completely trash my day.

 

by BobRogers
5-31-06
Later, in the park...
James, I understand you are having a little difficulty with DC Comics' decision to make Batwoman a lesbian...
I HATE it, Father. Batwoman should be marrying Bruce Wayne and having little batkids and stuff.
Political correctness is a fact of life, James. The folks at DC just want little gay girls and boys to know they aren't alone in the world.
A svelt female crime fighter by day and a Les Butch Biker Dominatrix by night. Satan is laughing at us.
The official Catholic position is that Gay is wrong. My personal position is...
Please, Father. I can only handle so much pressure before I explode.

 

by BobRogers
5-31-06
Dude, Bob, You gotta get over to the park. Gargoyle has lost it completely!
What gives?
He's wicked ripped about Batwoman becoming a lesbian. You gotta hurry.
On my way, yo!
Gargoyle, what the hell gives man?
I'm going to hold my breath until DC makes Batwoman straight again.

 

by BobRogers
6-01-06
Gargoyle has vowed to hold his breath until DC Comics agrees to NOT turn Batwoman into a lesbian...
Come on, Gargoyle, man! It's just a COMIC BOOK! You can't seriously think you can change anything.
Bat ... woman... is... NOT... a... DYKE!
Geeze! Now see? That's exactly what I told you was going to happen.
Gasp! Seemed like a good plan at the time.
What's with bench-boy over there?
~sigh~ It's a long story. Say... you're that tooniverse ghost The Creator was telling me about. Pretty neat non-corporeal outfit you got there.

 

by BobRogers
6-01-06
It's true. I am the ghost of Loretta's World. Sort of a leftover remnent of that series, a composite character. You may call me Loretta.
It's ironic that the whole time I was doing that strip, we never actually MET Loretta, even though it was titled Loretta's World.
Oh, I was around. I did a couple of guest shots as "DoubleSpyPunch" a nemisis of "he who must not be named."
I remember that.
Actually, it's more fun being the ghost of an entire nuked planet. I'll undoubtedly get to role play...
For sure.

 

by BobRogers
6-02-06
Could you pardon me just a moment while I use my cell hone to call 911, have you arrested and sent to jail for 330 years?
Uh. No problemo, Sister. I'll just hold up on killing you while you alert Swat, the Army and Steven Segal.
Stupid new cell phone! NO SERVICE? Hellooo Customer Service? No Answer. Rats.
Um... Sister? I thought you had Cingular.
Why yes. I did. How ever did you know that?
I was your sales rep before you dumped us.

 

by BobRogers
6-04-06
Thank you for puttong that knife away. I don't think you REALLY wanted to slice me into nunburger. Why are you doing this anyway?
I've been under a lot of pressure at home since Cingular laid me off, Sister. I thought that Serial Killing might improve my self esteem.
How do you think Serial Killing would make your life better?
Well, might improve my job prospects for one.
And has it done?
Well, Enterprise Rent-A-Car did call back...

 

by BobRogers
6-06-06
Time for the mail, as read by Bob's faithful new secretary, Igor...
Dear Bob. Are you an Iranian? Why do you keep blowing up the world? Signed, "Singed."
Dear Singed. Sometimes when you're feeling a little down, a 50 kiliton explosion is the right thing to pick you up...
Dear Bob. When will Dave be appearing in the new strip. I LOVE Dave and want to have his babies. Cheers, Frank.
Dear Frank. Let's see how that ban on gay marriage works out, eh? Then we might bring back dave.
Dear Bob. Please post more at the SternShrine. We miss your wit and good taste. Regards, Mom.
Dear Mom. I am perfectly capable of creating plot points on my own. Go back to your knitting now...

 

by BobRogers
6-07-06
So... You went and saw X-MEN III today. How was it?
Well, for a one, the cocaine finally caught up with Kelsey Grammer. He was bloated and ugly and covered with hair.
Yeah, That was "The Beast." Really strong. Kicks major ass. Kinda hard to shake that "Fraiser" thing though, right?
Yeah. I kept waiting for his nerdy brother to show up.
I think they should have cast Paul Heyman as "The Beast."
I know what you mean. Or Mick Foley. Wouldn't take much to turn him blue.

 

by BobRogers
6-08-06
Neither rain nor snow nor fog of war...
I have a letter here for Dave.
Didn't you get the production memo? Dave doesn't exist on this world.
A world without Dave? How is that possible? It doesn't seem fair. I only get one line in the whole series and he doesn't exist.
... and yet somehow, 'tis sublime.
What the ...?
You are gonna DIE Bob! And I don't have to tell you WHY!

 

by BobRogers
6-16-06
Have you looked at the date in the black area above the last panel of this strip?
Yeah, I know, the last toon was on the 8th and that was 9 days ago. What's your point?
Well, Doc made the toon topic sticky and then you just abandoned him for 9 days. What's up with that?
I've had a lot on my mind.
Unlike Dave who has nothing on his mind at all as witnessed by the brain-dead topics he posts on SternShrine...
Cheap shot, Gargoyle. Dave doesn't even exist in this strip and yet you have managed to work him in. God will get you...

 

by BobRogers
6-21-06
Suddenly thrust into the spotlight, George panics...
Oh God. They're doing cartoons with random characters. I was just sitting there in the index minding my own business, and now this.
What in Hell am I supposed to say to a ninja in fighting stance anyhow, hey, I know your Momma-san?
Aw, see. Now they're just messing with me.
You have got to learn to relax... Everything is going to be allright. I am from Minnesota so I know these things.

 

by BobRogers
6-21-06
Now take a couple of deep breaths. See? Doesn't that feel better. Listen, being in this strip is easy. Just go with it. You'll see.
That's easy for you to say, Sister. You have a real-time counterpart and a continuous role to play. I'm just a random character who doesn't even have a name. What chance do I have to carry on?
I understand there's some distress or anxiety on your part for having been chosen to appear here?
Well, yeah. I have tasted life now. How can I go back into that cold dark index and be nobody again after touching the light?
You shouldn't worry too much about your future role. You are one of the few avatars in this strip who is self-aware as to being a cartoon character...
And this keeps me alive how?

 

by BobRogers
6-21-06
As plot exposition continues...
Actually, since Dave doesn't exist in this world, I have lost about 3/4ths of the gags I ordinarily employ for cheap laughs.
Who's Dave?
Dave and I used to hang out on the road like this in the old strip and talk about things to come..
What things?
Well... That's it isn't it.
Slapstick is a low form of humor.

 

by BobRogers
6-21-06
Being run down and "splatted" by a 40 ton Peterbilt Tractor Trailer with chrome wheels and a custom pain job is a kind of tradition hereabouts.
Ow...
I reckon that just about everyone in this strip has been mowed down at one time or nother.
In that case I feel honored to have been initiated in this fashion...
Damn! Waited too long!
Obviously Peter Built more than one Tractor Trailer.

 

by BobRogers
6-21-06
Bob and the new guy discuss the prospects of road kill...
Sometimes I feel like I am not completely in control.
I know exactly where you're coming from there, Amigo.
Amigo? Say, you're not one of those Illegal Aliens President Bush has been talking about are you?
Nah. Born in Texarkana, actually. Why? Does it matter?
Nah. INS never checks cartoons.
Remind me. Why we are still on this road?

 

by BobRogers
6-22-06
Bob told me he was having second thoughts about leaving Dave behind in the old tooniverse, Loretta's World.
He said he wanted to give Dave an opportunity, especially on the SternShrine, to be a grownup without the toons.
This hasn't worked though, as Dave seems to have been taking "stupid pills." Say... why am I telling all this to a squirrel? Squirrel?
Roger.

 

by BobRogers
6-24-06
DEATH gets downsized.
I am DEATH! Fear me.
I am DEATH 2.0, your replacement.
WHAT? I am DEATH! You can't just come in and replace me like a fuel pump on a 87 Caprice Classic.
Wrong, Sparky. I am the new, sleek, painless version of Death. Whereas, you are the old funky painful prolonged version.
This is STUPID. What makes you so hip?
Heroin and PAINKILLERS, Baby! Death takes 'em while they're still tripping. 100% effective. 100% lethal.

 

by BobRogers
7-02-06
Bob and Gargoyle convrse in the park.
Good news. I have decided to bring Dave into the new Tooniverse.
Why is that GOOD news? He's BLOWN UP the last two Tooniverses he's been in.
Truth is, it's either Dave or Dr. Kodos and right now, Dave is looking like the better choice.
Why do we need either?
Dude. Look at the number in the upper left hand corner of Panel 1. The cartoonist has been wicked dragging his feet.
Yeah well, that's the whole "wheelchair for transportation" thing isn't it?

 

by BobRogers
7-14-06
Dave's first appearance in Life With Bob" doesn't go as planned...
WOW! It's good to be out of the CLOSET!
What closet is that, Butters?
My NAME is NOT BUTTERS. It's Dave, ya #$%@^%@$.
He's Baaaack!
Be VERY afraid!
Dave's back? I'm QUITTING my job at the Rocket Fuel Factory...

 

by BobRogers
7-14-06
Well, now that I am back, I am going to need a job. Gotta earn some money to pay web hosting on my dead web site.
The Rocket factory is hiring... like you didn't see that one coming.
I think I will mosey on over to th pad and see... Hello. What's this? Could it be a rocket that someone has left laying around?

Showing page 13.

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