All comics by DragonXero

Profile

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
So, would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime?
Aww, you're sweet. Like a puppy. Only not as cute. But, I have a boyfriend, so no.
So, um, would you care to go to lunch with me sometime?
Sorry, I'd love to, but I have a boyfriend. You could just pay me some money though.
Hi, can I fuck your boyfriend up the ass?
*choke* HUH?!

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
You got a purdy mouth.
*eep*

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
You'd look better naked.
You'd look better dead.

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
WOO HOO!
We got upgrades!

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
Look at this! I have boobs!
No fair, yours are bigger than mine!
Of course, I really shouldn't complain.

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
So, now that we're grown up, white, and hot, let's go bag us some black guys.
I have a better idea. Let's start charging five times as much for sex.
Can't argue with you there.
What's five times zero?

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
Hey, there's a bar. That's a perfect place to pick up guys.
Yeah, let's go in.
Hey baby, how about wigglin' yer black trouser snake into my little cave?
WHOA, I've heard of forward bitches, but damn, white girl, you got spunk!
Meanwhile...
Are you sure you're a well-hung black guy?
Yo, bitch, if I ain't a homie, dis here ain't a grain o' rice. Let's go back to my place, and I'll put some mocha in yo' gene pool.

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
The Next Day...
So, how'd you do last night?
Oh, I did great. Arlington pounded me so hard I can barely walk. The best part was that I didn't have to leave after it was over.
Wow, that sounds great...
Yeah. My God, he must have had a 12" cock! How'd you fare anyway?
Eh. Not so great. Jed was about 3", lasted two minutes, and told me I had to leave before his pig got home. And to top it off, my crotch itches like mad now.
We REALLY need to talk.

 

by DragonXero
11-11-02
I SUCK.

 

by DragonXero
11-12-02
*honk*
GAH!

 

by DragonXero
11-26-02
Hi, I'd like to get reimbursment for my destroyed car.
Okay, well, what happened?
A big meteor crashed into it.
I'm sorry, but we don't cover 'Acts of God'.
This wasn't an act of god. It was an act of a BIG FUCKING METEOR.
Oh, well, we don't cover those, either.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
You know, I really do have an awesome memory.
Is that so?
Yeah, I remember this one time, I...
You what?
Who the fuck are you?

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
(QUESTING!!)
(ADVENTURING!!)
(ADVENTURING!!)
(QUESTING!!)
(WANKING!!)
What're you doing back th- OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, PUT THAT THING AWAY.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
Okay, so, let me get this straight. We're supposed to find some witch or whatever, and get her potion that will bring back memory, but you can't remember where she is??
Who the fuck are you?
I AM GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU.
BAD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH!
Oh, Christ. I'm sorry.
Who the fuck are you?

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
Oh my god, it's full of stars!
No, not really, those are stick-on glow-in-the-dark stars.
Wait, what are we doing here?
Trying to get your memory back.
Oh yeah. Who the fuck are you again?
You can call me daddy, because I'm going to beat you like I were him.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
Well, you see, we have come to get your magic "memory juice" for my friend over there.
Can't remember a thing eh?
Nothing. Say, what do you make that juice out of, anyway?
Oh, you know, the usual. Cat menses.
Cat WHAT?!
Oh, by the way, he has to have something to dip it in. I have the perfect robot to apply the treatment over here...

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are YOU?
They've been going at this for hours.
You should see the cat when Satan comes around. "Who the fuck are you?" "I'm Satan!" "You're Santa?" "No, SATAN!" On and on...
How do we snap them out of this?
Well, turning on the lights usually dazes the cat for a few minutes. Long enough to get the menses and call up the mighty robot...

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
So, now that we have the menstrual fluid.. from a male cat.. what do we do?
We call upon the mighty robot!!
You don't mean... TOBOR!?
Huh? Oh HELL no.
Then who?
Oh, you'll find out. But first, a word from our sponsors.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
As I bring this bowl of menses, I call up, the great God...
Fuck.
What's up??
Er, what rhymes with menses?

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
Anal-ease? Oh for Chr-
I AM TEH GRATE GOD FUCK!
GAH! What the- Wait, your name is fuck? Fuck doesn't rhyme with menses...
IT SI IN ARE LANGWAIGE TAHT "FUCK" AND "MENSEES" RIME!
Calm down, witches don't have breakdowns, witches DON'T have BREAKDOWNS...
WAHT SI IT TAHT i CAN DU FORE YUO?!

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
The menses have been placed within our blue-shirted anti-hero... VICTOLLY!!
Hey, what happened to the kitty?
The kitty sacrificed his life for you...
NOOOO!! The kitty was so special to me! I remember him so dearly...

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
GAH!
*blink* I think I need pupils.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
I should go right up to her and ask her out. Yeah. That's what I should do. Couldn't hurt.
If he comes near me, I'll spray so much mace in his eyes he'll wish he was born without them.

 

by DragonXero
11-30-02
I can't believe that bitch! She emptied a can of mace in my eyes!
GAH! STALKER! *mace*
GAH! MY EYES!!!
WRONG HOUSE! WRONG HOUSE!

 

by DragonXero
12-02-02
Stupid bitch. I should get some mace to fight back all these mean women. I swear, every damn weekend.
At least my eyes are all cleared up. This time I know I'm at home.
Who the cunt are you?
Oooh! It's a MAN!

 

by DragonXero
12-05-02
What's up man?
Just adjusted the clock speed on my motherboard. Got this Athlon XP 1800+ up to 1.540 ghz.
Isn't it supposed to run at that speed.
Yeah. It just wasn't configured right when I first put it together.
Heh, I have a P4 1.8ghz. What's so special about your chip? It's so sl- *grgh* I'm choking!!
I am disturbed by your lack of faith.

 

by DragonXero
1-12-03
Hey baby...
Uh, dude, I'm not gay.
Gay? I'm a woman!
Oh. OH. Ugh, get away!
What's wrong, asshole? Afraid of strong women?
No, sickened by big, bulging muscles on women.

 

by DragonXero
2-14-03
Fuck you.
What the hell?

 

by DragonXero
2-14-03
Don't you just love this day? It's so filled with joy and lo-
Would you shut your fucking cum-trap?
What the hell did I do?
You're breathing my air. Away, vile wench.
Alone for Valentine's day eh?
SHUT UP, LEST YOU FEEL THE STING OF THE BACK OF MY HAND!

 

by DragonXero
2-14-03
Sucky sucky, fi' dolla!
Me love you long time!
Jesus, our business sucks, even on Valentine's day.
Maybe we need breasts?

 

by DragonXero
2-17-03
What the hell are we doing in this graveyard?
Eh. Change of scenery. Whoa, what's that brushing against my leg??
AAAAH!
AAAAH!! IT'S RAPING ME!!!
AAAAAHHH!!! RUN AWAY!
Well shit.

 

by DragonXero
9-10-03
Let's make a comic.
Okay.
It's been a while since DragonXero made a comic.
It sure has.
We are out of place in a Xero comic, huh?
We sure are.

 

by DragonXero
9-16-03
14 hours into his shift, DragonXero begins to tire slightly...
Er, hey, can I get going home? I got here early, and all the people who got here after us have left...
Well, everyone wants to go home, we're all tired.
You didn't work early shift yesterday, you came in late.
Well, this work needs to get done, and the papers sent in double the ammount of ads they did last night. Though, they send this many in every Thursday... It needs to get done.
I missed the part where that's my problem...
STOP TALKING!!!!

 

by DragonXero
9-16-03
You've got to realize that this isn't highschool anymore, you're at work now, and you have to understand that when you butt in on others' conversations, they will likely skip "being nice" to you.
Monkeys in my underwear on halloween! The fly lands in poop on computer #5!!!
Um, yeah. Anyway, running off to tell on your crewmates is not a good thing to do. It ends up just pissing them off.
My socks are the cheese of loins. You smell the cell phone and superman idol!
God damn it, what the hell is you damage, boy?
TEACHER, HE CALLED ME A MEAN NAME!

 

by DragonXero
9-16-03
Hey, boss, I need some ads out here.
What? Oh, just a minute, Xero (oh, god, yes... right there)
Wh- What's going on in there?
Oh, uh (yes, shhh, quiet) Marlene and I are having a- (HELL yes!) uh, meeting...
Okay, so, should I just kick these panties back under your door and wait for you to finish your "meeting"?
No need, Craig will get them when he comes to join the meeting.

 

by DragonXero
9-16-03
STOP TALKING!
But I was-
I SAID STOP TALKING, DO YOU WANT TO GET SENT HOME WITH ONLY 12 HOURS FOR TODAY?

 

by DragonXero
9-16-03
Um, this is my third 12 hour shift this week, can I go home now?
The company is paying you good money for all this overtime, now get back to work!
Well, you're not really my supervisor, so I don't see how you have the authority to say that, but in any case, the money doesn't go to me. It goes to the government, taxes, remember?
Well, think of how much you're helping the national debt!
Er, I'm not, really. All the money goes to welfare, most likely.
I, erm.. I... STOP TALKING AND GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

 

by DragonXero
9-30-03
HAHAHAHAHAHA, Bob and Tom rule. Haha!
Hahahahahaha!
Stop laughing!
Must.. resist... urge... to kill.....

 

by DragonXero
9-30-03
Robert has told Xero to stop talking.
But I was talking about work!!
No you weren't You were talking about.. um.. other stuff. I heard you.
God damn it! I am going to beat you until you can't breathe.
W-What? This isn't how it really happens.
Artistic licence, bitch. Now quit screaming!!!
Hey, that's my line! AUUUGH!

 

by DragonXero
10-31-03
I bet you'd taste good with Teriaki sauce.
...?
Zombie, the other OTHER white meat.
Mmmm, tastes like chicken.

 

by DragonXero
11-19-03
In Line at the Movies
Damn, it's getting harder to tell who's going to see Harry Potter and who's going to see Lord of the Rings...

 

by DragonXero
11-21-03
So what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
A belt sander!
What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
Matches!
And what would you like for Christmas, little, uh, Grey?
An Illudium 36 Space Modulator!

 

by DragonXero
11-21-03
Wizzy: 500HP Spryte: 300HP
I cast "Magic Missle!"
Let's see.. Oh, sweet! 18! You miss. Now, I cast "Flaming Gorgoth".
Wizzy: 500HP Spryte: 300HP
Waitafuckingminute. You're only a level 10 Sprite. You don't learn "Flaming Gorgoth" until level 16!
Oh fuck you. I figured out a way to get around all the silly rules in this dumb game!
Wizzy: 1HP Spryte: 9000HP
And how is that?
I sleep with the Dungeon Master.

 

by DragonXero
11-25-03
Why do I hate dcomposed?
Well, first, he uses the zombie character for his personal icon.
Secondly, he manually masturbates bulls. (Or so I've heard)
And finally, that little dick made a comic about why he hates me and didn't even post it.

 

by DragonXero
12-09-03
I think homosexuals are wrong.
You can't direspect my individuality that way!
Can you believe that ass? He thought he could deny me my right to be different!
But, isn't that what you're doing to him by saying he's a bigot because he has a different opinion?
Ah. AH! See? I thought you were serious there for a second.
*sigh* Yeah. I was just kidding. I love double standards!

 

by DragonXero
12-09-03
So, do you hate homosexuals?
Yes.
What?! You told me you didn't care that I was a homosexual.
I don't. I hate homosexuals as much as I hate everyone else. Around the same percentage, really. You guys just make it easier to find single women.
Wait... Lemme get some paper. And a pen.
Oh man. Not long division again.

 

by DragonXero
12-09-03
Okay, so if you don't have a problem with gay people, why do you make jokes about them?
Because jokes are funny.
Not homosexual jokes!
They're funny to me. Hey, I bet you and any gay friends you have make jokes about straight guys.
Yeah. But that's different!
Like grapes and raisins.

 

by DragonXero
12-23-03
Oh thank Allah! I have reached heaven through my holy war! Are you one of my virgins?
Yes I am. I am here just for you.
Very well! Let's get it on!
Not until we're married!
W-wait, you're not supposed to say that.
You don't think I'm still a virgin because I sleep with every man who dies in a holy war, do you??

 

by DragonXero
1-01-04
Now talking in #stripcreator
Did I win?
Nope, Bargain wins.
DID I WIN THIS TIME?!
Nope, Inflatable wins.
dcomposed has left #stripcreator, bargaintuan has left #stripcreator, Inflatabl has left #stripcreator
DID I WIN THIS TIME?!
Yep. See ya later.

 

by DragonXero
1-03-04
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Showing page 13.

« Previous Next »