All comics by bencomic

 

by bencomic
11-28-07
And if you think for one moment I'm gonna try and trust you again after everything else because it's foolish of me to make that assumption on my own, you're dead wrong.
I'm just a horrible person now. Accept it or not, that's what the case is.
I'm never going to accept it. Not after all you've given me. Sorry. Feel free to leave if you really think you have to, but know I won't forget you. Ever.
I should just tell you that everything I said was a lie. I should just choke up on the bat and tear apart everything you think just because it would be better for you than reality.
You should, perhaps. But you won't. Because you aren't a horrible person.
You arrogant motherfucker. Get the fuck away from me right now. NOW.

 

by bencomic
11-28-07
Meebo Message: sevencorvina is offline
*sob* my only love, hon...

 

by bencomic
11-28-07
in conclusion:
Insidious fucked a hermaphrodite in the ass. that's modern semantic fucking disassembly for you

 

by bencomic
11-28-07
I was born in Lancaster, California. I've been turned down by more jobs than I can count, yet keep on trying.
I hate men for the most part. It's not their fault and I shouldn't generalise like that, but I do. I was shot in the hip. Doctors fucked it up but I can still walk with a cane at least.
I'm polyamorous, though I absolutely hate the term and most of the people I've met that think of love the same way. Go figure.
I'm addicted to caffeine, nicotine, and working my way toward alcohol. I like addictive substances.
I spent most of last night at the bar with a woman who, though beautiful and ironically far more drunk than she could handle, chided me for smoking, telling me I'm killing myself.
At the end of the night, she ended up seeing the why. I spend more and more time at pubs now. The only social life I have offline.

 

by bencomic
11-30-07
I wish I had a Nobuo Uematsu fetish instead of a hand fetish...
except then I'd have to hide my copies of FF7 and FF8
because I'd instantly shoot if I heard anyone playing them
nihilistmatt i can no longer stand to be your computer. goodbye

 

by bencomic
11-30-07
I'M MAD AT EVERYBODY AND I DON'T LIKE EVERTYBODY I HATE YOU ALL
WHY DONT YOU GO INTO A DITCH AND DIE THERE YOU'REE ALL THE SAME WITH YOUR STUUPID 1101010101011010110S OVER THE INTENET
RYEHA THAT'S REAL MATURE YOYU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS

 

by bencomic
12-02-07
man, if cja were here, right about now i'd be debating with him whether or not there are moral issues with being a lolicon, and about the illogical problems with culture in general, especially america
guy what illogical problems with american culture in particular?
well, i've apparently just been an eccentric person all my life; i don't understand a lot of social norms
a simple example: i don't see why people won't eat food that's been dropped on the floor
a complicated example: i find most pornography absolutely revolting, and this makes me ponder the mental state most people must be in

 

by bencomic
12-02-07
what, like regular porn or off the rails stuff like furry?
both, though the latter to a lesser extent depending on your definition of "off the rails"
and anyway, i don't really have much of a place to be calling most porn revolting considering my, ah, being a lolicon
i find myself drawn to it rather than "mainstream" porn (which i find revolting because of its sluttiness by nature) mostly because it has something to an extreme that almost everything else lacks:
innocence. with regular porn you've got women who obviously are intentionally showcasing themselves for all to see; it's pathetic, almost.
i am not only drawn to a person's good looks, but also to their mental state...

 

by bencomic
12-02-07
clearly i'm a freak, slitting my face
you could always download child porn
i am not a pedophile, though i may seem to be grasping at straws to say i am not: pedophiles are attracted to young people because they are young.
lolicons are attracted to drawn young people, and not because they are young, but because of the effect that has on their designs and personalities
you and all your porn >:(
i'm leaving

 

by bencomic
12-02-07
So basically, you want some idealized perfectly innocent creature... not an actual little girl.
"some idealized, perfectly innocent creature" does sound about right actually . . .
obviously that's a goal unattainable in real life and i do not for one second believe i will ever find such a person.
so that's confined to fantasy, obviously...
what about one of those cutesy little chicks who love anime and dress in that stuff?
a "cutesy little chick who loves anime" sounds pretty nice! you make it seem like there are lots of them

 

by bencomic
12-02-07
guy, i feel i should let you know we're making fun of your lolicon fetish in #idiots-club
nadir are you really, oh man
i recently realized that i am not a lolicon, i just don't give myself age limits, except for really old people and toddlers
that's still hilarious, sorry
nadir it is, i could laugh at that quote a lot if i didn't, like, understand it

 

by bencomic
12-03-07
hey pancake today i saw some mormons riding around on bicycles, so i kicked them over and tore up their pamphlets and told them GOD WASNT REAL and they were SO STUPID
then i spit on them and left on one of their bikes. my display of deviance has sent ao message to all christian denominations, DONT RIDE BIKES OR ILL KICK YOU
and then i got to my grandmothers house and i sneezed, and she said GOD BLESS YOU
and i was like FVCK V and i karate chopped her in the chest and she had a stroke. i got a spanking for it but THOSE CHRISTIANS WILL LEARN
:D micah that's the coolest thing i've heard anyone do today
somehow i have the feeling that you're probably making up that story...

 

by bencomic
12-03-07
hey jazzy, did you hear the awful news?
no, what?
Last news I heard, a girl was raped (with people recording it with cellphones) in a nearby town
I'd rather they not rape her in the first place
...i'm talking about ADOM, not rape
oh

 

by bencomic
12-03-07
exophase:
Today at lunch this guy at my table kept making jokes about me.
So I put him in a headlock then slammed his chair to the floor :-)
You don't wanna meet me in real life.
I'd probably kick gofer's ass for no reason :-)
Apollyon knows I'm just a big bottle of rage.
And for some reason I don't think gofer can fight.

 

by bencomic
12-05-07
* NiMa checks zultimate (the zzter wiki) to see if anything happened to that horrible JohnK article
nope, it's still there :(
and if I page blank it tensions will rise, and they'll just revert it and IP ban
sigh, I wish someone would smash zultimate in, it's just a big cache of hate...

 

by bencomic
12-05-07
jesus fucking christ no. i'm watching metal: a headbanger's journey and apparently it was influenced by blues music, meaning black people
now what am i gonna do...
SO ANYWAY today my english class, the teacher said some crap about going to heaven if you're good
so i stood up and said "excuse me, but everything you just said is bullshit and you're a fucking idiot for believing it".
then she sent me to the principal's office

 

by bencomic
12-06-07
* Nadir has joined #pooproad>:(
hail satan
hi, zenithsatan
hail me... praise be to me!
what could you possibly be praiseworthy of?

 

by bencomic
12-08-07
menopause? is it a tool?

 

by bencomic
12-12-07
you're moving to california?
somewhere west, anyhow. new york sucks
it's like The Worst
maybe Portland, Orgeon... or Eugene, Oregon...
or Eugene Portland
or Mike Portnoy

 

by bencomic
12-12-07
or Porky Pig... or Miss Piggy...
or Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot
or Eli Whitney... or Whitney Houston...
or Houston, Texas
so in conclusion, i am moving to Houston, Texas

 

by bencomic
12-15-07
...but what is it trying to achieve
Sorry, nuero, I don't know anything about it trying to achieve..
SHUT UP GEBLO-MAN... man, if there's ONE THING I HATE, it's CRANK AND EVERYTHING HE DOES
"Okay, nuero," said Geblo Man. "I'll stop talking, forever." "dddduuuuuuuuu"
"DDddddddddduaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" "DUuuuuuuuuuuAAUEEUEUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I WALKED IN ON CRANK JERKING OFF TO FURRY PORN"
that is the LAST STRAW >:|

 

by bencomic
12-16-07
also: i hate it when i'm listening to music and humming along loudly and my mom passes by my room or comes in. especially if it's japanese (it's always japanese)
...jesus, i don't have any music with lyrics that are in english. they're all japanese except for one which is in LATIN
it's especially horrible when it's this song http://youtube.com/ watch?v=rdERUrLvIW4
man, one time mom walked in while i was watching that anime whose intro i linked, and for some reason i was unable to alt-tab so i just stood up awkwardly with it flashing across my screen
the anime's great, but parents are quick to judge and make stupid assumptions so such a situation is still mortifying for me
well, mine, anyway. they see me as a very straight-forward, no-nonsense person who has fun by solving math problems and i don't feel like correcting that vision

 

by bencomic
12-17-07
MEANWHILE, IN #MZX...
my beard grows in really thick and curly. and i get a moustache, too.
i have fine hair...?
my head hair is really fine. my pubic hair is like black people hair, though.
did i ask for that information
like, at all
im just saying, it varies a lot on my body

 

by bencomic
12-17-07
BACK IN #IDIOTS-CLUB...
i have never wished for someone to die more than i did upon seeing paulguy discuss his pubic moustache in public
is he just trying to be the most disgusting freak in the world
please ask him that for me
ok

 

by bencomic
12-17-07
my mustache isn't pubic. my moustache is normal hair .
and it's just lemmer with his normal "too cool for you" facade. it's retarded and i don't take it seriously.
i don't think pubic hair ought to be discussed openly or, in fact, ever
i think lemmer has a point. that just came out of nowhere, and i for one did not like it
i know he has a point, but it's so like him to shit on people.

 

by bencomic
12-17-07
lemmer, consider yourself DISMISSED by PAULGUY
dismissed...
well, as long as he acknowledges that i've got a point in regards to him being completely disgusting, i guess
step two is finding ways to improve on being the most disgusting man alive, but we'll save that for another time
im disgusting
i eat pig crap

 

by bencomic
12-19-07
MAN THIS IS A TERRIBLE EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS
GOD I CAN'T EVEN... GHURGH
WHAT THE FUCK

 

by bencomic
12-19-07
what makes it worse than any other shitty recent episode?
i dont even know, i'm hardly even watching it
digital cable guide says A drink erases the past 24 hours of Homer's memory, leaving him to retrace his steps
homer is floating around in a bubble with bart and lisa. i'm serious, this is what is happening
lisa just took a blueprint out of her pocket with homer's head on it
also marge is cheating on homer with duffman

 

by bencomic
12-19-07
i'm watching that too. why, though...
also, $1000000 says she's not cheating but the innuendo implies it
what if you're wrong, crank... will you pay that money... to rich jew zamros...
yes, i will
GOOD
i swear to god i will

 

by bencomic
12-19-07
five minutes later:
SEE I SAID IT ZAMROS I SAID THE THING YOU OWE ME A LOT OF MONEY SEE
what
I SAID RIGHT THING
....what
let's ban crank right now

 

by bencomic
12-19-07
for a bet to work it needs to be a gentleman's agreement. i do not recall zamros agreeing to the bet
>:| he did agree
what]
Please Cite Your References with a Log.
<zamros> i did a thing, ai agree, crangkdo to the bet that you won

 

by bencomic
12-28-07
"I propose two walls, separated by 20-30m with a self healing mine field between them. The first one topped with electrified razor wire and the other topped with electrified razor wire and studded
with modified Phalanx guns set to fire on anything larger than a squirrel. Beyond the second wall the ground will be equipped with pressure sensors in the rare event someone makes it beyond."
brilliant.
are we talking about palestine or mexico, here? either way, brilliance.
mexico, although, palestine, that's some good lateral thinking there
america should just firebomb mexico so none of those goddamn wetback faggits get into the land of the brave

 

by bencomic
12-28-07
but california need people to pick crops...
america should just execute all non-americans, it'd solve all your problems
what if we just killed everybody
Wait, no, that wouldn't work. nevermind
if we killed everybody, it would reduce their carbon footprint
Problem. Solved.

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
* Chair_face has joined #rawr
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
*** Welcome to #rawr, Chair_face! ***
I AM CHAIR FACE, NOBODY LIKES ME
We sure don't
EXCEPT NADIR, BUT NADIR LIKES EVERYONE HE WANTSTO HAVE SEX WITH
nmadir like sme

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. You begin to sway back and forth. I turn you around to lick your asshole.
I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. They stink really bad.
'I start to get fed up with your ugly ass. I tear off your wooden peg leg. I ram it up your ass. Then I pour hot caramel over your head. And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
I Kick you from the Channel
* Chair_face was kicked by ^_^Fungahhh[[---4`
SORRY ABOUT THAT, WRONG WINDOW

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
( 3*E )

/ /u\ \
goatse man ascii, discuss
you suck
spiderman isnt the only one who gets his hands sticky on the web
you suck
YOU SUCK BIG FAT MONKEY DICK, FUCKING DONKEY PORKER

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
you suck
Man, I haven;t blown a load in so long, the next bitch will probably have to chew before she swallows
God, kill it
man I am getting layed so many times this weekend. I don't care how tired my hand gets.
Man, at least when Scorch or Tyrannous did something stupid it was funny.
¬_¬ Roses are red, Violets are blue, Badger badger badger, Badger badger mushroom

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
* @dave2 has joined #rawr
HI DAVE, DAVE3 LIKES MEN
hi
dave2 can you ban this thing
NO, DON'T DO IT
chair face? if it's really that bad, you be the judge!
yes

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
* dave2 sets mode: +o Aplsos
ASdng.hsnbk;lmvv x'm;ngcfb d';lmnhs;l fgh s'fghmls;dfjhl;sd jgh
sldjfkgsdlf;jhgbsd fsn'dlkgljdafg nd'flghsd;f sdf'gnhsd' hg;lsdfg dfgsldhf;lgjshdf;lghsdf
<Chair_face> ¬_¬ Roses are red, Violets are blue, Badger badger badger, Badger badger mushroom -- i think that says all that needs to be said
then take him out, bud
* Chair_face has left #rawr

 

by bencomic
12-30-07
chair_face flooded and left... i've seen it before
god damn it
when you have the gun in your hand, SHOOT
you're the worst sheriff ever, aplsos

 

by bencomic
1-04-08
are there people who have a barney fetish? that wouldn't be far off from furry i imagine
yes, in a sense
i watched a guy named raptor_red hump a plush barney to orgasm once. that's called plushophilia
but cumming on a plush stuffed animal can make that stuffed animal pretty gross pretty fast.
well this plush was bigger than he was
and such liquids dry, and become nasty

 

by bencomic
1-04-08
WHY were you watching
i was in the room at the time.
(sound effect: dr_dos's mind blowing)
i wasn't watching, per se, i was aware of the activity
wait, so you were in a room where this was happening? and that doesn't sound an alarm? like there was a dude in the room fucking a stuffed animal PHYSICALLY THERE
yes. in the bed next to me.
like you could have given him a high five after he orgasmed

 

by bencomic
1-04-08
that is fucked up.
it's akai. :D but we all love him anyway.
no we don't paul, don't support this
akai was the hole in the animal's front or it's butt?
i mean, was he particularly ass fucking it or just fucking it's "Vagina".
he's gay, and an inch in either direction doesn't make it straighter or gayer. it's plushophilia

 

by bencomic
1-04-08
i guess.
you have the most retarded thought patterns.
i know
(because being in a room with a guy fucking a barney doll isn't retarded at all, akai heroically takes the intellectual high ground)
work on that.

 

by bencomic
1-05-08
Old-Sckool: no i didn't rob my friend. we made a deal and he payed in advance. i also know him in real life at school, by the way
i know smartrutter in real life at school too, his name is Rutter and he is Smart
name the school then why don't you?
Smart Rutter High
wrong :P
n...NO... NOOOO... NADIR DNOOO

 

by bencomic
1-05-08
what...
Game Over, Nadir
how can this be... HOW CAN THIS BE?! o, i am undone
Nadir crumples on the ground, screams to sky while kneeling
hmmm i probably start my pre-calculus homework... :P
i've got a 100 average in that class, it's too easy

 

by bencomic
1-06-08
and my mother's all "you're not installing linux on the new computer"
psh
like she can stop me

 

by bencomic
1-06-08
as you can see from what I called this computer, I'm also unhealthily obsessed with the Elder Scrolls series.
Dagon?
just because you fucking name your computer after something doesn't mean you're "unhealthily obsessed" with something
jesus
* Jenni scoots slowly away from John..
sorry, i'm just stressed

 

by bencomic
1-06-08
* Insidious scoots slowly away from John as well and hides behind Jenni
notice what I said above about reverse pickpocketing hoods of burden
that, coupled with my incessant playing of the morrowind theme variant on keyboard
aww
* Jenni hugs John
:(
as well as the long debate I had with myself about martin septim's ancestry

 

by bencomic
1-07-08
private message:
here, we stand on equal grounds. Your little friends can't "gang bang" me, per say... with all of them being assholes simotaneously
HOT
you want to get fucked up the ass? Is that what you're saying?!
i want YOU to get fucked up the ass, you cum-craving little faggot
???...w]-[/-\T /-\RE Y(=)\_/????
im nadir :D

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