All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
4-25-04
EEEP! I don't want to be clotheslined!!!
!!!
SLAM!!!
Ooof!
Argh!
Groan!!!
Well, well... look at that! Haven't I met you before? Author, give me a bloody splat. 'Cause its uncunsensual sex teim you fukin bich of a hoar!

 

by Drexle
4-25-04
Later...
Hey, you.
Hmmm?
I heard from those asian girls what you did back there. They were watching the whole time.
Oh? Well... it was nothing.
Look man, if there's anything I can do for you...
As a matter of fact, I think there is.

 

by Drexle
4-25-04
The next day...
Hey, Maura.
Oh, hi there.
Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to see...
No.
mai coke in y oure twat, yo slutt!!!
NOOOOOOE!

 

by Drexle
6-15-04
Pull!
*BANG!*

 

by Drexle
6-15-04
AAAAGH! FUCK! I'VE BEEN SHOT! AUUUGHH!!!
Time passes
Excuse me, sir. I'm here to investigate a murder. Were you a witness to the crime? Sir? Sir? Do not ignore an officer of the law!

 

by Drexle
6-15-04
Hmm... lots of blood stains, a bullet wound, unresponsiveness...
Sir, I'm afraid that being dead in public is a violation of city health codes. You're going to have to come with me.
Not moving, eh? You're a stubborn one. I'm going to have to charge you with resisting arrest.

 

by Drexle
7-16-04
Hey there! What's with all the books?
Oh, this? I'm studying for a test.
A test? But you've been out of school for two years!
Yeah, I know. It's an HIV test.
Dude, you can't study for an HIV test. C'mon, let's go get drunk and pick up some chicks at the bar.
Why do you think I'm taking this test in the first place?

 

by Drexle
7-16-04
Yes! Dude! Fucking rock!
Hey man, what's up?
Oh, I just got my grade back on my test. I passed! I got an "HIV+"! Sweet! I never made anything more than a C- before!
Awesome. So, now how about we go to the bar and pick up chicks?
Score!

 

by Drexle
8-04-04
Arise, O' spirits of the ancients, and prepare to do my bidding!
Inhabit this vessel which I have prepared for you!
Arise, and prepare to serve your new master!
Aww... but I don't wanna.

 

by Drexle
8-04-04
Do not invoke the wrath of your master, spirits! You will do as I say!
Do not invoke the wrath of TOBOR, mortal! I will not!
Will too!
Will not!
Will too!
Will not!

 

by Drexle
8-04-04
Will too!
Will not!
Will TOO! Haiiiiii-YA!!!
*CRUNCH*
Spirits? Spirits, speak to me! Are you there?! NOOOOOOO!!!! My plans are ruined!

 

by Drexle
9-27-04
Hey baby, you look like you got some money. You lookin' for a good time?
Oh, you whores should be so ashamed of yourselves! Degrading the morals of our community... what do you have to say for yourself?
I ain't a whore, missy.
Oh yeah? What are you, then?
I'm a buysexual.

 

by Drexle
9-29-04
Ahc, I got so much work to do. These files are due tomorrow morning and I haven't even started on them! What should I do?
Inside Kajun's Concience...
Kajun, we can do it if we just work hard all night! You'll have the accolades of your boss, and a fat bonus when it's over!
Oh yeah? Well I have beer! Kajun, stick with me and you'll have the accolades of your friends, and a fat hangover when we're done!
Four hours later...
*Belch!* *type_type_type*
Your comics suck, you bastard!

 

by Drexle
10-15-04
So, Tony Blair! Ol' buddy, ol' pal. How's it going?
Oh, good afternoon Mr. Bush. Is there something I can do for you today? Tea and buscuits, perchance?
Well, I was thinkin' that you could help us out by sending some troops to back us up in Falluja. Wha'dya say?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid I don't want to get thrown out on me bum at the next election.
Well then where are we supposed to get extra troops from?
Did you remember to ask Poland, Mr. Bush?

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
Hey. Man, I'm bummed about the election.
Yeah, me too.
You voted for Kerry too?
Nah, I voted for the Viking candidate this year.
What?
I mean, if this country is going to be a barbaric, warlike theocracy, why go half-assed with the republicans when you can have the real thing? We even have actual war gods.

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
I don't think you could draw enough support away from the Republicans with just the promise of a more warlike theocracy.
Well, you know we also have a proud history of free trade and extortionist policies.
Anything else?
We hate gays too... unless of course a little ass destruction happens in the middle of a warzone. That's okay, as long as it's the other guy on the receiving end.
Dude, why are you looking at me like that?
I'm just planning my next raid.

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
Umm... please don't plunder my booty!
Okay, but only if you pay the Danegeld.
The what?
Don't play dumb. Gimme some money and I'll leave you alone.
Okay, here's $20!
Cool, thanks! See? This Viking party deal is the way to go.

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
You realize that what you just did is highly illegal, right?
It's not illegal. Politicians do that sort of thing all the time. What do you think all those fat campaign contributions are all about?
So that politicians won't cornhole their constituents?
Pretty much, yeah. The rich ones, anyway.
... Wait, why are you looking at me like that?
I think it's time to pay the Danegeld again.

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
But I just gave you money!
I don't think it was enough.
How much do you want before you'll leave me alone for good, then?
Gimme $200.
Okay! Here! Take it!
Hey, Thanks! I can buy some awesome porn with this. Maybe some mead too.

 

by Drexle
11-03-04
The next day...
Oh, hi there.
Hey, what's up?
Not much. You?
Not much.
It's time to pay the Danegeld, isn't it?
I'm almost hoping you won't.

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
But I already gave you the $200 you asked for!
Well you know, at the time I figured that would do it, but now that I think about it, you're just worth too much money to stop.
Okay, here! My wallet! My credit cards! My bank card!
Cool, thanks! Now I can fund the army of Nord Karolina! We shall plunder our neighbors to the south!
So you can get the Danegeld from them too?
Oh hell no! Those fuckers are ugly as sin down there. What if they refused to pay? *shudder*

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
Say, who's that guy behind you?
Huh?
The one with the funny hat and the big beard.
Oh man! That must be my presidential nominee! Rock!
Hail!
Hail!

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
So, what's going on?
Oh, not much.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh, just planning my next raid.

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
Well, I've got this $220 right here, and some guy's wallet full of cards.
Not good enough.

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
Haha! That looked painful. I've hardly seen a larger member.
Owie...
So I guess you're right, they are the next most logical step after the Republican party.
....
Are you okay?
Ugh.... Sigh, I guess he's just like all the other politicians after all.

 

by Drexle
11-04-04
Umm... I don't like that look in your eyes.
You know I just gave you my entire life savings, right?
Sigh, here, let me at least make it easier for both of us.
Dammit, it's no fun if you don't put up a fight!!!

 

by Drexle
11-09-04
The CDC says that the US Bible belt is a breeding ground for STDs of all varieties.
If you ask me, these Christian pansies have it too easy in these modern times.
Give me the days when the men were Men, and syphillis was incurable!

 

by Drexle
11-13-04
Greetings, brother Shark.
Greetings, brother Human.
I would like to appologize to you on behalf of the more evil humans. I believe in your right to be.
I'm touched. You know, I believe in your right to be, too.
CHOMP
Your right to be lunch!

 

by Drexle
1-26-05

 

by Drexle
5-17-05
Good evening, does someone need assistance?
Yes please, I'm in this bar downtown and all they have is PBR. Can you take me somewhere with some decent champaigne?
Sir, I'm afraid we can't do that. Is anyone there drowning?
We're drowning in cheap liquor here, mister! You've gotta help us!
So, did you have any luck?
They said they weren't that kind of Dive Rescue Unit.

 

by Drexle
6-01-05
So, Drexie... how long have you been here?
Hmm... Let's see here. Four years?
Wow, four years on stripcreator? What a loser!
Wait... what is a small asian girl doing in a bar?
Jello shots.

 

by Drexle
7-04-05
Hey there, baby. I gave you my number last week. Why didn't you call me?
Um... you just handed me a piece of paper with no name on it and ran away. Why would I call you? I don't know you!
But I thought we hit it off so well that day!
Um... no. I thought you were five.
What? I'm five foot nine!

 

by Drexle
8-13-05
So what do you think?
Let me get this straight. You plan to charge insane amounts of money for average coffee...
Invent a pretentious naming convention for your product, and have a storefront on every city block on the planet? Just what is your act called?
The Baristacrats.
Can I have a double cumshot latte?

 

by Drexle
8-14-05
And we were all in the agent's office, my father with his cock in my ass, me with my face shoved into my mother's twat...
and we'd all just eaten pad thai made from the family dog. I was shitting and puking puppy pieces all over daddy's cock and mommy's pussy.
Wow. You asian hookers really go all out.
We're not hookers! We're The Aristocrats!
Whatever... I'll give you five dollars if you do that for the whole office on our next trip to Thailand.

 

by Drexle
8-14-05

 

by Drexle
8-14-05
I thought you said I'd come out of this thing as a fly!!!

 

by Drexle
8-15-05
The smoke is so thick... I wonder if we're getting close?
How Of course we are. The Dragon's lair has to be down there. Their homes are enshrouded with the smoke of their horrible, firey breath.
Amazing! Even though you are a foreigner, you display an amazing knowledge of dragons.
Yeah.
How do you know so much about dragons? Was your father a mighty warrior too?
Nah, I'm like a 50th level Demonic Dragon Knight in UnderRealms with a special racial hatred for the Crimson Drakon family that grants me a +5 bonus against them in all situations.

 

by Drexle
8-16-05
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the fiftieth annual beard competition is.....
___________(DRUM ROLL)__________
Thora, the bearded lady!!!
What a bitch. She's on the juice, I know it.
Baah.

 

by Drexle
8-17-05

 
by Drexle, 8-17-05

 
by Drexle, 8-17-05

 

by Drexle
8-17-05
bozedyBozedyBopZiddiyBop=true;

 

by Drexle
8-25-05
The positronic converter is almost complete. I just need that one special ingredient... Assistant! It is time! Time to get.....
chicka chicka chicka boom-clap chicka chicka chicka boom-clap
WooowoOoOoo!!!! Let's get this party goin' on!!!! Underground!!! ((**DANCING!!**))
((**DANCING!!**))
**THUD**
...a new assistant.

 
by Drexle, 8-30-05

 

by Drexle
8-31-05
Welcome to Babylon!

 

by Drexle
10-15-05
Honey... you know I love you, and would never want to hurt your feelings....
... but I just can't get it up with you in that stupid human suit.

 

by Drexle
10-15-05
What? Why is there green slime adorned with marshmallows and stars clinging to my door?
I really should wash the dishes more often... and lay off the Lucky Charms...
*splort*
And the acid.

 

by Drexle
10-15-05
And you say that corrosive slime was just clinging to your door this afternoon?
That's right sir.
And by any chance have you been leaving your lucky charms sitting in milk for months on end?
You would be correct in that assumption, yes.
... And of course you were on acid at the time, right?
Well, obviously.

 

by Drexle
10-15-05
Would you like to buy some cookies?
Yes.
Wait, no...
Didn't I eat you last week?

 

by Drexle
10-15-05
This is it tweety... we're finally doing it. We're finally going to be rid of this world of suffering and madness!
Just ten more seconds before terminal impact against the hard, unforgiving earth. Isn't it wonderful?
Goddammit, let me out of this cage!!!

Showing page 15.

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